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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35065
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My Ex husband has decided he isn't giving my the maintenance

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My Ex husband has decided he isn't giving my the maintenance any more, he wants to make sure the children ages 12 and 10 see that he is contributing to them. They already know this but he is very stubborn and we keep falling out over maintenance. Sometimes he pay sometimes he doesn't. We fall out over this.
Now he is trying to make all his arrangements through my son age 12 and cut me out of the equation. Visitation and the money. I have told him that Josh is a minor and he can't do that. Is this correct ?? To me it's about control, he know I need the maintenance and he's playing games.
Can you help ?
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What income does he actually have?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

We don't know what income he has, he's self employed and everything is done by cash as far as I know. The CSA said he told them he had no income as such and that he had said that he gave me money when he could. But then I get messages saying he is working and can't have the kids.

Its very difficult for me, he knows I can't stop him seeing the kids, but he isnt fair to me because he has them when he wants and since July won't give me any money direct, only to the kids. My son doesn't want to be involved in the money side, be he knows I struggle and tries to get money off him for me (by his own choice he thinks he's helping me). He shouldn't be put through that. We have a daughter as well who is 17, because of the situation she doesn't have much contact with him again because of this, he won't give her any money. At the moment he only gives the boys £10 towards dinners, Charlotte got £10 this week because she spoke to him. He used to give me £60 direct every week.

What does he actually do - what do you know about his income?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He is a joiner by profession, but does building work, decorating, tiling etc. If someone wants their house doing he can do virtually anything in it.

Daily rate for a joiner is roughly £80 a day. If it's a kitchen/bedroom wardrobes etc. he can make between £800-1000 profit (that roughly a weeks for to fit them).

Has he ever paid tax?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He got a big tax bill off the tax man last month (he was still down at our old house which he moved out of 7 years ago) so I forwarded his new address on to the tax man. He got a bill a couple of weeks ago. He text me to see if I had "grassed" him up. He owe's them over £6000, he told me he's not paying it, will move house again if he has too.

If he has a Tax Bill then he has income which is taxable and on that basis the CMS (new version of the CSA) can indeed make an assessment and enforce it - and it will cost him extra because he has not paid via a voluntary arrangement.
If he refuses to pay then he can lose his driving licence and his passport.
Equally you are correct he cannot make arrangements for contact via the children and you shoudl make it plain that either he agrees a pattern of contact with you and sticks to it or he doesn't see them.
You should offer to discuss this with him using Family Mediation
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have recommended family mediation but he wouldn't do it.

Feel better knowing I can say your not seeing kids. He just thinks he has every right to do what he wants.

Regarding the CMS what can I do if he says he has no address and he is prepared to dodge this and the tax man ?

He also keeps saying that we have joint custody so he can do what he wants with them, even though I am the main carer, is this true ? Thank you

In fact what you both have is Parental Responsibility.
accordingly when the children are with him then yes he can take them where he wishes provided they are safe and the venue is suitable
Provided there is a contact address of sorts you can ask the CMS to make an assessment
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you