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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34888
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I lived with my boyfriend and father of our 2 children ( now

Customer Question

I lived with my boyfriend and father of our 2 children ( now 12 and 11) for nearly 15 years. We separated 3.5 years ago , after 8 months of sleeping on the sofa as he refused to move out of our jointly owned home. He moved out nearly 3 years ago and since then has lived in rented accommodation and I have solely paid the mortgage and bills on our property. He knows legally he cannot force me to move out until our youngest child is 18 ( in 7 years time) we have 50% shared custody with the children ( agreed between us and the children) though he only gives me 110.00 a month through csa and I pay everything for them. He even sends them to school with no dinner money and I have to pick up the debt he builds up for school dinners. Now the children are older they have keys, there have been a few occasions when I haven't been there he has got the children to let him in. I have noticed my paperwork has moved and I have had small amounts of money gone missing. He has nothing left into the house I have given him everything he wanted including the dinning room table and chairs though he already had his own ! When I have invited him in, he refuses to come in. I have had a partner for 2 years, who occasionally stays overnight, which my ex knows about. At the weekend , knowing I wouldn't be there he came round and got the children to break in, using a stick through the letterbox advising them they needed more things from my house. then when they said to him he shouldn't come in he said its my house, went upstairs, went through drawers and took a camera ( this was a present from him to me, however he can prove he paid for it) . I notified the police who said legally there is nothing they can do as its his house and he has the right to gain access whenever he wants and take anything that was his or jointly owned. However they said I may be able to obtain an "order" through the court to prevent him from coming and going as he pleases. I would have given hi the camera if he would have asked, I would have let him in if he had asked, though he has absolutely nothing to gain from coming in. Its all about the mental abuse and the control. Please advise I'm desperate for this to stop and its causing problems with me and my new partner

Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
House is worth £235, 000 outstanding mortgage is £155,000 however we have debts against it that if sold need to be paid that amoubt to 36,000.
Because of poor credit history remortgaging for me will be impossible and also I am on minimal wage and receive tax credits . Me and my new partner are confiding moving I. Together next year , legally he is allowed to move in for a year without my ex partner contesting it then we will look to buy him out. I am keen to stay in the house as currently only paying interest only and I couldn't afford rent prices particularly for a three bedroom house so the children would have to share a bedroom which having a 13 yr old boy and 11 girl is less than ideal plus the kids love it there all their friends and clubs are there
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Is there actually an agreement dealing with the house - I ask because of your reference to yor ex moving in.
if so what else does the agreement say?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
There is no legal agreement we agreed beeeen ourselves I would live there becUse of the children and he knows legally I can do that until our daughter is 18
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
i am afraid that if you cohabit at all then your ex can apply for the sale of the property.
How often has your ex entered the property in the last six months?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I have been advised by a solicitor beause I pay all the mortgage bills and maintenance towards the house my new partner would have to move in for a full year before my ex can force a sale . We are not trying to see him off but because their are children involved on both sides we don't want to rush into the comitment of buying a house together straight away ! As soon as we are sure and able we wil be keen to buy him out.
I would say he has been in the house at least 10 times , the children used to have a key and he used to he them to let him in but since I have taken keys away he has encouraged them to break in !
So could be more I don't know , I have no problem him coming into house when invited asking for things that he thinks are his ( though he's had pretty much everything ! ) but it's the coming in without permission invading y privacy and putting our children in that situation I object too
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I am sorry but there is no rule that allows you a year - if your partner moves in then your ex can apply for an Order for sale.
In the mean time as a joint owner of the property he is entitled to return to the property whenever he wishes.
You can apply for an Order excluding him - in the absence of violence there is no guarantee that the court will order it - however the sheer number of times he has done it MAY be sufficient
I am sorry - I know this is not good news please ask if you need further details
By the way - you are entitled to tell the school that you are not responsible for the dinner money on the relevant days and that they shoudl pursue your ex for it