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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35043
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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hi i have applied to see 2 children 1 - biologically

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i have applied to see 2 children
1 - biologically mine
2 - not mine
together 4 years
mother is requesting i have both children at the same time
court have said both children should be treated equally
surely i dont have to accept this?
can i withdraw my application for the non biologically child
i want to see both but do not neccearily want to have them both the same time
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare.
Do you wish to see both children or not?
If you do then yes it would be expected that you see them at the same time.
If you do not wish to see the other child then at the next hearing you can formally withdraw your application in respect of the older child
Please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

If i am to see both i would either

1 - want pr for the other child too (i would simply need this if i am to be her father on the same level)

2 - if not withdraw

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

1 - if i am to have both children then i would need pr for both

2 - if not then i only want to see my child

honest answer im more bothered about my daughter so if pushed happy to withdraw non biological

May I ask why you feel you need PR?
Are you married to the mother?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

no im not

reason is she excludes me from evrything surely a father should have pr, stops her getting my daughter adopted , access to medical records , school reports etc ?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i assume if i withdraw my application in respect of my non boilogical child whilst the court may not like this, it doesnt mean i am withdrawing my application to see my biological daughter ?


How old is the child and how long did the child live with you?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

my biological is 1

the other 8

as in live we were "together" on and off 4 years

i stayed at the mothers approx 50 % of that time

i have my own house and was not registered as living at mothers house

So you have never lived together full time at all?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

not officially my clothes etc were all at my house she used to go mental regually and burn my clothes or throw them away so kept them at my house sounds crazy but thats how it was

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

maybe shes trying to say i wasnt there who knows the caf cass guy does not doubt i was though

There is in fact no basis on which you can be given PR for the child.
You are not married to her mother and the child is not living with you
If you wish to see the child then you need to see your biological child at the same time (although you could say you wish to see your biological child more often)
If you do not wish to see the child then you can simply withdraw the application and concentrate on your own child
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

option 2 then i think withdraw im sure i will get to see her anyway if thats what mum wants keep it simple ?

I am not sure I understand why you wish to withdraw if you do not get PR - but if you feel strongly on the issue then yes that is the option
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

the reason is i am not the other childs dad, i am a "special friend" if i am to look after her on the same level eg alt weekends and a day or two in the week i dont have her then i think i would need pr if i am going to be her "dad"

also she is in contact with her real dad all be it sparadically and if my ex starts another relationship she will then have 3 dads my intention was to see the other child "occasionally"

the ex i has turned up near my workplace twice now and i think she has started seeing the man in the garage next door to where i work , she turns up with my daughter surely this if anything is a little thoughtless

the caf cass officer is concerned with her mental health and to be honest i now think i am going to change my application to full residency i assume if i dont get that contact will still take place

There is no longer a concept of Residence - it is all about having a Child Arrangement Order - so you do not need to change the application - just withdraw the application in respect of the older child.
Your approach is NOT unreasonable - and indeed reflects care on your part
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

then i assume i could apply for the daughter to live with me and her mother to see her alt weekends , and as you say with draw contact for the other daughter the mother has allready told me "a court order is not worth the paper its written on" i have that saved, i believe rightly or wrongly mothers are rarely punished (and if so it takes a long time) so i think why wait for her to come round its not going to happen unless a judge puts a hammer down

i consistently pushed relationship guidence councilling as an alternative , mediation refused twice, letters not replied to all backed up with copies , i passed a alchahol drugs analysis , i have a job, money , stable , my thoughts are tell the caf cass officer i have now lost hope, and belive she will continue to be obstructive, wether i am with her or not her temper will continue , im not the other childs dad i am richard, its not in the other childs interests to have 3 dads and if the mother does want me to see her then i will anyway a court order is not necessary , i have taken a loan out and saving the money for a solictor as a last option

i also belive there is assistence available for child care for working parents so do not see this as a problem

and i do care i want to bring my daughter up my resolve has never been stronger

You can certainly apply for a shared care order that means your child spends the majority of the time with you - but be aware that the court will be reluctant to separate siblings unless there is clear evidence that the child is at risk with the mother.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

ok , just to add i saw the ex out sat night was stood at the bar turned arround and there she was

we had a short conversation and it started to not go well so left it then her friend passed out on the dance floor, ambulance took her away (her friend) i then went home the ex went home do i ned to tell the caf cass man this

supposed to call him today

It is not particularly relevant but you can indeed tell the CAFCASS officer if you wish
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


saturday the exs mum asked me to pick her up as she was in trouble (text) i agreed was worried about kids

found them realised no kids, agreed to drive them home

on dropping them off a man ran out of the exs house tried to assault me and vandalised my car

police came i am pressing charges

more !! the ex then rings me saying she cant cope with kids and texts saying pick them up

i say no will in the morning, anyway i rang the police again said i was concerned and after what had heppened can they check everything is ok

they late called back saying the kids were asleep and no concerns

i have reported to sservices police and will caff cass tommorow

my question is whilts there is no such a thing as custody do i have grounds now to change my application to custody or what the equivelent may be

When is the first hearing
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

the third hearing is 24 feb

currently a section 7 report is being compiled

Than all you need to do is mention your concerns to the CAFCASS officer