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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35069
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have been send an court order for the childcare arrangements

Customer Question

I have been send an court order for the childcare arrangements and specific court order .
I have been with the kids since day one , we are currently sharing the childcare on the 2/5 system .
I wife has move out of the house to Harpenden as she has been having an affair with a married man . I still stay in the family house .
I do not have my Solicitor with me at the first hearing as the office are close for the holiday .
I need advise how to deal with the hearing , what will happen I am not sure what the judge can do on 30 mins . Please advise
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When is the first hearing?
What is she asking for?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Today and she is asking for full care of the children and moving them to her area for schools
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
NOTHING significant at all will happen at the hearing to day so please do not worry.
All that will happen is that the Court will make directions as to the next steps that need to be taken.
The issue will be whether or not a move is in the best interests of the children - and the Court will decide if a full CAFCASS report is needed or not.
If it is then the next hearing will be in about three months time; if not then a hearing date will be set and you will both be ordered to file statements
IF your ex is trying to force the Court to make a decision as a matter of urgency point out that in fact there is no reason why the current arrangements cannot remain in place for a further half term at least.
If you have further queries please ask
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thank you the court has decided that a hearing next week will that place to decide the arrangement and the schools . At my son has a school allocated for him by the council now and they need a answer by the 13 Jan 2015 .
She is push to be the main carer what is the role of the main carer and where does that leave me
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Tell me how the care of the children is shared at the moment
How far away has she moved?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We are currently on the 2/5 system suggested by my wife . I still live in the family home in Letchworth and she moved out to Haptenden .
I did express my concern that moving too far away will affect the kids but it was not considered . She moved with less then 5 days notice and no cailms the kids are affected . Trying to turn it on me .
In terms of school she is going on about the schools are outstanding in Hapenden and my concern is why move and disrupted the children's routine . It was a personal move for her to be close to the man she has been having an affair ? She told me months agian he is not going to leave his wife so my concern is the un certainty of her personal issue will effect the kids how do I bring that across without it be sounding negative and personal ?
I would like the kids to remind in Letchworth as it offers instant stability as they have been here for ( years and the famy and friends support is here ? What is the support in Harpenden ? I feel it is too much change so soon .
Both the head teacher and teacher agreed with me to keep them in the same school as it is the one thing that keeps kids happy
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
For clarity - she has not moved in with her new partner - she has merely rented a property to be nearer to him?
At present how does the shared care arrangement actually work - talk me through the average week
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi ,

I do not think she moved in with him as he is still marred and she confirmed in a conversation when she when on holiday with him this summer . after telling me and the kids and her family she is going to Spain with a friend but she when to Turkey with him instead .

As it stands now I have them both every weds/ Thurs and every second week weds to Mon went I drop them off and school and

nursery .

What she did was cancel both after care and nursery for the kids without informing me or consulting me.

I found out from the managers of both after care and nursery , admission was made again with out me knowing and a consent letter was send via my Solicitor asking me to agree .

What can I do and how do I stand , today they were trying to put forward how outstanding the schools was in Harpenden and nothing else , I called the council and was told that because we share the childcare I can put forward my own admission which I did but my view are not being consider .

what do you think ?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
Do you both work full time?
How do you manage the care of the children when you work?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


I work full time , her contact was not renewed she hasher own company and earned a lot of money . I that two days off during the week when they are with me and every second week when I have them 5 day I drop and pick them up and take the weekend off to be with them

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
In the long term what arrangements do you believe would work - clearly the journey to school at the moment is a long one when they are with their mother
Does she have friends or family in the area where she now lives?
What explanation has she given the court for the move?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She has not friends or family there it was a move purely for the ole she is seeing . She gave them the reason for work and better travel to London . So she can spend quality time with the kids .
I did raise my concern in an e mail to her bag it's the effect of a move far away but it was not considered . I had change my working hours to less and almost any day off in the week work 9. / 5 pm during the week and every second weekend off .
I do feel the move to Harpenden is for personal reason I need your advise how to present my case best
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.
I still need to know what YOUR proposals would be.
The current arrangement will not work in the long term because of the school issue - so what is YOUR suggestion