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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34897
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I am separated and have 2 children boys aged 8 and 6. Father

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I am separated and have 2 children boys aged 8 and 6. Father has sees children every other weekend however he delegates most of his access to his older brother (paternal uncle). Paternal uncle is extremely wealthy and pays for himself and my ex-partner to go on extremely expensive holidays with children. Uncle now wants to go on holiday with my children (without their father) with his girlfriend and on other holidays with his friends. I am not familiar with these friends and do not want to encourage this. My children are young and should be with their mother and not cared for by other women I don't know. Can you let me know what rights have and does uncle have automatic access to my children. Only my expartner and I have parental responsibility.
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to help you
The Uncle has no automatic right to have contact with the children - he does not even have the right to make an application to the court unless the court gives him permission to do so
If their father is not also going on this holiday then there is no chance of the court forcing you to agree to it
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Can I also ask. When our children are with their father during allocated weekends/school holidays he delegates care of our two children to other family members i.e. uncle and paternal grandparents. Am I within my rights to insist if their father is not with them during this time they should remain with me? Is access purely for father or does this include other family members? The reason I ask that uncle so wealthy spends so much on my children it makes me feel so unadequte when they get all these expense toys - I feel it undermines me as a mother and feel I need to reign this in.

It is reasonable for the children to spend time with their wider paternal family - and the expensive presents in no way undermine the relationship that you have with them
However if their father is not part of the contact at all then it would be reasonable for you to restrict the contact to once a month
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

When kids have been with uncle (during fathers access time) - Uncle has at times left my children with others (his friends and not family members) when something has "cropped up". The reason I know because kids have told me - Uncle does not volunteer/mention these incidents (nothing sinister but he is very busy person). Can I put restrictions on what uncle can do? i.e when he is with kids he is only to be with kids with family only and not others? Is this reasonable?

Unless the father is there then there is no reason for the children to spend any length of time with the Uncle - and the Uncle certainly should not be leaving the children with anyone else - other than their grandparents.
You are entitled to lay down some clear ground rules making it plain that whilst you welcome the fact that the children have contact with their wider paternal family that should be in addition to not instead of contact with their father - and their Uncles has no right at all to leave the children with anyone else
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for last answer that really answered what I was trying to get at. Is there anything I can do to instill in father that access to children are really there for his benefit instead of leaving with his family because he has other commitments? He has another family now but kids only get very small amount of time with him (that is fathers choice and its always been that way before new family).

I suggest that you use Family mediation
to make it clear to your ex that unless he is going to be present during the majority of the contact then in future Contact should only be once a month overnight at the grand parents to maintain the link with the family
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Clare,

Thanks so much - advice is good info for me to start sorting this situation out.


I hope all goes well
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