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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35042
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have a question about how to sort access husband

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I have a question about how to sort access husband with oyr little boy.
He is only one and my husband left when I was 16 wks pregnant. From sccans-birth ive involved him and gave open access when he was born. He could come abd see him or take him out so long as I had notice. This changed over time. My husband works shifts and right now we work access around those shifts. Normally i try to make sure no more than 4 days go by without him seeing his son and he normally has him twice a wk. My worry/problem now is that he wants those days together and overnight inbetwen, which ive aggreed to buildibg this up gradually little boy. Butbecause of shifts ive been handed dates with 3 weekends in feb (that is all) and march is all days in wk. There is judt no continuity little boy and he is so clingy and doesn't know whats going on most days. He doesnnt and has never sleptwell. I just dont know what to do and how to sort fair access that will have least detrimental aaffect on our little boy. We have children out of the marriage too.

Thank you question.

I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is your ex's shift pattern?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He works 2 days 2nights and 4 off. I normally try day 3 which is first night shift and then another day later on or 2 together as well in his 4 off. Never 1st day after nights.

I work too and use my childminder who ive used since my 15 yr old was a baby. Shes been really accommodating an.d I give her months noticeof when I need her to fit in withmy exs shifts. Just so much changing little boy no week same. Hes so unsettled. Loves daddy and going and ive given him as much contact as poss to help that bond. Hes withdrawn as new partner but does threaten me with going /50 custody as he doesn't want to pay any more.just dont kno what to do little boy.

Just to check - it is four on four off and that is a set pattern - so he could have him overnight one night in eight?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Yes that is what we plan doing

Has your ex objected to that pattern?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Do u kno what ive no time . This is rubbish. Should have known this wud all be about makin money out of vulnerable people.uve not given me one bit of advice in 3 replies. Waste of£26

I have not yet given you a reply at all - I have asked questions so that I have all the information I need to give you the best guidance possible.
This forum can be difficult when it comes to pulling out all the relevant issues to help you.
At the moment it appears that you have worked out a pattern that is consistent - he sees the child once every four days for a few hours.
The father is apparently asking contact - which would take place every eight days
Whilst this would not be the same night every week there is at least a set pattern involved so at this point I am not certain what your concerns are about this - hence the questions.
If you could just let me know which part is worrying you then hopefully I will be ab eto assist you - if not I will ask to receive a refund
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

. Your last message explained thankyoy. Very hard when teying to give as much info in short to jyst get one sentence of question back.

My worry is what would a partner b entitled to in this situation. I have always done what I thought best little boy but was unsure with this sleepover request. Hes so little and only had me. I dont see benefits to him staying overnight purely husbands request. Kno he gas rights but he picks and chooses what suits him. What are his access rights

It is not about what your ex is entitled to - it is about what the child is entitled to.
It is not unreasonable to be overnight contact BUT as you said from the beginning this needs to be built up at your son's pace.
So long as you remain totally focussed on the needs of your child you have little to fear!
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanku. I just hope he lets that happen..also am I unreasonable to not want my son to share a room with my ex and his partner.

I am afraid that given the age of the child this would not be seen as being inappropriate, I am sorry
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