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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35056
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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, My wife and I are going through a divorce. We have mutually

Customer Question

, My wife and I are going through a divorce. We have mutually agreed that I will see her every Tuesday and fri night-mon morning every second weekend.
My wife however, when it suits her, likes to call the shots and has recently told me I only have visitation rights. I would like shared custody. is this possible in the UK and what does this mean ?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.

Thank you question.

I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
How old is the child and how often has the contact been cancelled?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Clare, Thanks back to me.
My daughter is 8 on the 28th of this month.
Thankfully contact has not been cancelled and there is no dispute (yet) over our agreement of when I see her.
Ihave her Tuesday moring to Wednesday Morning every week and Friday evening to Monday morning every second week.
My concern however is that she stresses that I only have residential rights.
Today, the day I have her (Until Wednesday morning) I had to take her out of school as I managed to get a doctors appointment foot that she has been complaining about. The school then called my wife and she went berserk because I never told her before hand. In all honesty it was not expected and I only managed to get the appointment because I too had one and they managed to fit her in so I collected her from the school office and also provided a letter to the teacher when I dropped her off stating that this may be a possibility.
It's really hard to explain the whole situation like this but the crux of the matter is that I was not given any leeway or trust and accusations of abduction was thrown around.
In addition I have my child's passport as we recently went abroad, she is insisting she has it back which makes no difference to me but the accusations are just getting ridiculous. I fear that if she feels like it she "could" try to limit my access to her out of spite.
I need to stress that my wife has been clinically diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder and I blame this as a major factor to the breakdown of our marriage, she was hardly ever on her medication during our marriage and whether she is now I have no idea.
I just want the same legal rights (Maybe I already have them?) Her reaction to the fact that I didn't inform her before hand due to the time constraints of the appointment seems very exaggerated and hurtful to be honest. She emailed me on my return and I emailed her right back with an update. Maybe I'm over reacting but I need to be prepared. Her reaction today and her insistence of my position worries me. I basically just want to know where I stand.
If an emergency occurs and I can't immediately contact her I don't need the police knocking on my door especially on a day that she is meant to be with me.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.

In fact you BOTH have Parental Responsibility daughter and there is no longer any concept of Custody or even residence in family law
neither of you have more rights than the other - and you are indeed fully entitled to take your child out of school and to the doctor
You can read more here
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanks Clare.

She has informed the school that she be notified, this seems a little harse especially on a day she is meant to be with me. I'm considering seeing the principal about this. It's like I'm now monitored. Is she able to do this?

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.

You are both in the same position and you can ask the school to notify you if she takes the child out of school
It is not however a good tactic to bring the school into the mix - they have enough to deal with
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanks Clare. Noted.

Expert:  Clare replied 3 years ago.

You are welcome