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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35044
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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there I need some advice please my daughter is 8 and son

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Hi there I need some advice please my daughter is 8 and son 5 there father has been in and out of their lives no financial support I've never denied access he took me court as he was having visitations but I wouldn't allow over night stays as he lived in reading and was an alcoholic my daughter was 3 at the time and son 15months... He took me to court and was awarded over night stays one trip I drove them to reading to see where they would be..
In the court order he had every other weekend collect sat at 10am drop off Sunday about 4ish he did this 3 times and never turned up.. In one year court awarded 12 visits before we went back to discuss visits he turned up for 3 and 9 he never showed up I even texted him on the Friday asking if he was coming got the kids ready just incase but no show..
I went to every court hearing even heavily pregnant n he never showed..
Now he wants contact again daughter now 8 and son 6 this year they don't know him and daughter recalls h drinking alcohol a lot..
What should I do I don't want him in there life his not consistent.. He may have changed my daughter unsure if she wants to see him again n my son too Young to remember...
Please advise would be helpful
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
When did he last see the children?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He saw the children last when son was 15/16 months old his now 5.. 6 this year and daughter was 4 she is now 8
Thank you
Thank you - that is indeed a long time in the life of a child
What contact has he actually asked for?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He hasn't been specific his just said as he now lives local he wants to start seeing the children I just don't know how to start it and want to do things right as I know if I don't allow visitations now than I will be in the wrong.. My son is 5 and Unsure and my daughter is anxious via of his previous drinking and smoking when having contact with them before
The law says that children are entitled to contact with both parents - but it does have to meet the needs of the children and not the adults
If he does wish to build a relationship with the children then it is up to him to prove his commitment to them.
It woudl be reasonable for you to offer to start contact for twi hours a fortnight at a local Contact Centre
It is up to him to keep up the visits and work at getting to know the children for at good six months before there is any question of contact moving on
You should offer to discuss matters with him using Family mediation
but also make it plain that the onus is on him to show his commitment - not on you and the children to accommodate him
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you