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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34885
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My son is 8 year old and will be 9 in October. His mam and

Customer Question

My son is 8 year old and will be 9 in October. His mam and her partner moved out of the area he grow up about 3 years ago. It’s about a 4.30 hour round trip to collect him.
I have a contact order for everything other weekend and holidays etc…
My Ex partner has 2 children to previous relationship and now they have 2 children together.
He has never accepted my son as part of this family and he is always left out whether holidays, going out etc. For Christmas and birthdays there kids get spoilt with gifts to as my son hardly gets anything.
He has to sit in his room while his half and step brothers play down stairs.
For a while he has been asking if me and his mam can swap, so he lives with me and my wife and his little sister and visit his mother every other weekend.
I know my Ex would not allow this to happen, I was wondering if I apply to the courts for a residents order will my sons wish’s be granted?
I can provide a loving family environment for him.
My Ex does not have a residents order we only have my contact order.
Thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Do you have any independent evidence that your son is treated differently to the other children?
has his school raised any concerns?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
There has been no evidence, she asked me to have him for the 6 week summer holidays last year and without telling me they went on holiday? I only found out because I rang her mobile and it rang abroad? And this summer holidays she asked me to have him first two weeks of summer and I have found out they are all off to Egypt?
Apart from this, it's just from what he tells me. He says he doesn't feel he gets treat the same and it's unfair. Example I know it's small, his mam made pan cakes, the other kids got some and not him.
Social services were spoken to and they visited him at home. My son started talking to me about it and he said he was scared he would get into trouble if her partner heard so he never said anything really and social services were happy.
2 weeks ago he asked if I would ring John ( he social worker) to go and see him at school and speak to him in a room just them two. But he didn't want his mam and her partner to find out. I have rang them back and they would need to speak to his mother.
I have rang the school and his teacher is going to try and speak to him. She says he is happy to speak about what he does when he is with me etc, but as soon as he starts to talk about life at home he just closes down and doesn't speak about it?
I don't know if any of this helps?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
When were Social Services last involved?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Jan 2015

Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
My apologies for the delay - I was unexpectedly offline.
Your son is a little young for his wishes to determine the outcome if the matter goes to court
The fact that he would have to change schools could be a problem, but this is mitigated by the fact that he no doubt still has friends in the area.
The starting point is to try and discuss matters with his ex using Family mediation (
and a mediator trained to work with young people so that your son's wishes can be heard.
If that fails then you will have to make an application for a Child Arrangement Order stating that the child lives with you.
There is no guarantee of success - but you do have at the very least a reasonable chance
please ask if you need further details