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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35056
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I am writing with regard to my grand daughter. Her mother

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I am writing with regard to my grand daughter. Her mother (my daughter) is an unmarried mother of a six year old girl. The child's father left when she was three years old. While there was no formal agreement made regarding custody or access, my grand daughter lives with her mother and has daytime visits with her father at semi-regular intervals. These are usually every two weeks. In the last three years my wife and I have taken our daughter and granddaughter abroad with us on holiday. Her father now wants to do the same with his parents. My daughter does not think that this would be appropriate as her daughter has never spent any time away from her since being a baby. The father is now threatening to tell the child that her mother is preventing her from having a holiday. Can you please advise me.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Why has the father not had any overnight contact so far?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hi Clare.

Many thanks for your prompt response. Since writing to you I have spoken to my daughter and can now provide you with some further information regarding overnight contact. I must apologise to you as it appears that some of the information I sent was inaccurate.

When the father left the family home in July 2012 he initially lived with his parents. In September of that year he rented a two bedroomed property and the child did stay there on a few occasions. However, after a period of time his sister moved into the property meaning that the child shared a bedroom with her father. He later rented another property and again the child was able to stay over occasionally. Frequently, however, these scheduled overnight visits were not completed when the child asked instead to go home to her mother. Due to her reluctance to stay overnight these stays gradually reduced and in October of last year ceased altogether when the father sublet the spare room to a male friend.

Anticipating that at some stage he might want to take his daughter on holiday, two years ago my daughter suggested to her daughter's father that he take her for a weekend in the UK so that if the child was upset at being way from home she could be brought back with relative ease. He did not respond to this offer and now indicates that this summer he wants to take her to the Canary Islands for seven nights. My daughter wants to emphasise that she is not being vindictive towards the father and depriving her daughter of the opportunity of a holiday. Her concern is that should the child become upset and homesick she would be unable to come home. She (my daughter) holds the child's passport and is unwilling to give this to the father.

I hope that this additional information is helpful. Once again I apologise for the inaccuracy of my original post. This was not meant to be misleading but was describing the current situation whereby there are no overnight visits.

That is fine - and thank you.
please tell your daughter not to worry she is acting in a perfectly proper way.
If the father wishes to take the child away then he needs to build up the time that she spends with him - and the suggestion that he takes her away in the UK first is exactly what would be suggested if the matter went to court.
Your daughter should offer to discuss matters with her ex using Family mediation
However if her ex refuses then she can simply stick to her current position.
I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you