Thank you again Clare,
There is no chance of a sexual relationship again, my wife is always a refuser. She says on recording that she is asexual and at other times she says its because I invested too much money in my work without putting any on the table for her. She says she would look after me and shes there for me, but it sounds like sweet talk in the wake of her imminent possible demise. ie possible criminal convictions loom and children can be taken away.
The social services have given her a solicitor accredited in advanced family law, family mediation and children law. Her solicitor sent me a letter before injunction at the end of April asking me to not return to the house and not assault or pester her in future, otherwise they will be seeking injunction for me to not enter the family home.
Yes I see how my situation looks like a cause for concern on the surface, and that puts me in a fix. If I had just phoned the police in the first instant on my wife when she assaulted 7y I would not have to try and defend against false allegations. Everything I did from then on was as a result of being an emotional abused victim of that horrible crime of hurting me by throwing my daughter to the floor.
Why didn't the police prosecute her, investigate whether 7y says she was pushed over by her mum. How do they account to themselves that I was trying to video as a result of this crime and they ignore my testimony. - In fact they now say the recording of my testimony failed at the point where I was arrested (what convenient coincidence) just when I need the evidence of my testimony the police equipment fails to take it and the attending officers deny the content of what I said --and write in their notebook he said 'I hit her with a pillow and she is not injured'. I now know this looks like perverting the course of justice. My video evidence, my computer and my phone were seized. I have just got my SD card video evidence back and can start the long haul to clear my name but it seems very difficult. Even when I have explained to you it sounds bad but in the light of looking at my wife's crime to hurt me, I could have lost it and punched her, kicked her thrown her to the floor and taken the phone away from her until she recovered and it flelt like she cloud have deserved alot more. However I thought I will do the right thing, get all the evidence of her rage on video, and in the worst case scenario I would have protection against false allegations. I didnt manage to get the video on in time - if I had it would have been on when my wife was beating me up too and I would be vindicated. The video being taken in the end was a bit too late and it looks bad on the surface but what it does show is that it confirms that my attitude was indeed to record my wife out of order in a criminal way, and that I had chose to video her which shows my hands were on videoing her and not on hurting her in retaliation of the harm she had caused me was what I was trying to use it for. This shows that I am consistently adamant that this is my wifes incident and I am just trying to cope with it by doing the right thing instead of the wrong of retalliation and deny her the grace to be able to phone the police. I was obviously too nice toward her because I am the one who has not been heard and believed even though my 7y is witness.
Me pushing my wife's attacking arms away may even look like daddy is hitting mum in her hindsight when the services talk to her later on.
My actions are that of a man who was severely abused in that moment 7y hit the ground, a man that was now a scared and innocent victim in a scary crime, and a man that just tries to do the right thing by not hitting back with revenge, by speaking up, by protecting himself and by gaining and giving evidence by video.
7y was upset and crying and inconsolable because her mum was sending her Dad to the police by the phone. She was begging her not to - mum carried on disregarding her. Then the tables turned when I started raising my voice so the police could hear me speak up as my wife blatantly lies to the police in front of the camera and she is believed 'My husband is killing me' I am following her, both hands on the video so there she is blatantly lying and further emotionally devastating me in an abuse I have not been able to recover from. That statement was the only statement read out in court, did I say that - I was asked, I replied 'not guilty' of course and that was the first 6months of the hell of being wrongly accused and having to defend myself whilst my wife and the services were perverting the course of justice. eg the police had the video of me following my wife around as she went to phone the police and lie that I was killing her and they had the audacity to present that as their evidence against me in court knowing full well from my (the defendants own evidence) that it proves my hands were on the camera, no injuries on the wife, and that I was far from killing her I was in fact giving her the grace to even phone the police. (obviously in hind sight I just had to be a bit more worldly wise and shut the phone calling off until my wife had totally calmed down and sorted this out by our own peaceful negotiations between us)
.........7y then turned from being upset with mum to being even more upset with me and inconsolable upset by me videoing mama and speaking out to the police.
ps: I have just received an email from my wife which the total content reads:-
Hi Man, The letter from the solicitor is there just in case there was any problem. You have never assaulted me and you are not a danger to the children.
Sent from my iPhone 10:51am