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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35062
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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The SS gave me a hand written note to sign when they told me

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The SS gave me a hand written note to sign when they told me to leave my home saying:-

This is a written agreement between Mr Me and City Council on ...Oct 2014 This is not a legally binding document however if the agreement were to be broken SS may have to consider taking further action to ensure the children's welfare. Me is not to visit or reside at the Family Home No contact will take place between Me and 9y 7y and 4y until a supervised arrangement has been agreed between SS, Me and wife The above includes all social media Signed Me Wife SS worker


I broke this agreement after 2.5 weeks of streets flu and homelessness and I became suicidal due to that I couldn't sleep and recover. I hid myself from the children I just needed a nights safety and sleep.

Qa. How do you think I should respond to this document now 7 months later?

After the court success I thought I was an innocent man and I wanted to go home and my wife agreed that if SS ok's it then yes. I told the SS I was going back to the family home but they said the local authority would not support that, so I didn't go.

But because I said I was going, I think the SS got a heavy weight family solicitor for my wife to write to me saying:-

28th April 2015 We have been consulted by your wife and we are advising her under the Legal Help at Court Scheme. We are instructed by her that after an incident on ...Oct 2014 you left Family Home. You are currently having supervised contact to your children and are undergoing a Social Work assessment. We write to inform you that our client's instructions are that the relationship is now at an end. On her behalf, we ask that you not return to Family Home, and that you do not assault or pester her in future. Otherwise our client would no doubt give us instructions to make an application to the court for an injunction that you not enter Family Home and that you not assault or pester her. Please would you acknowledge safe receipt of this letter. Please be advised that this letter contains important legal information, we would advise you to seek independent legal advice. Signed solicitor

Qb. How do you think I should respond to this document now?

One of my colleagues mentioned its best financially to not get divorced, because you can better look after the money without it all being monitored like it is after you get a divorce.

Qc. Can you confirm he's probably right, probably the best thing financially is separation and not to divorce? Also does it matter either way when it comes to custody being granted or decided?

Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Do you accept that the marriage is now over?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

She is being taken care of by the social services and the state benefits. On coming out of court a free man without conviction she said I could return to the family home. However when I rang the social services to confirm, they asked do you still have a relationship with your wife, to which I replied yes... 3 days later wife has thought things through and then informs me she is asexual and wont be having sex again. (previously she was a refuser). Now the services have given a word to her for her condition (asexual).

A few weeks later I receive the solicitors letter. (..the relationship is over...)

So now I accept the marriage is now over.

I have also just asked her is it an absolute certain that our relationship is over and she in a marriage one, yeh.

PS: Should I be worried about not getting the 50/50 custody my wife and I agreed on before the letter came from her solicitor? Because I overheard the social services counselling and encouraging my wife to move house, be your own woman, where you don't get videoed, and have custody of the children.

What is your financial position - who owns the house, how much is it worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?
What other assets are there?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The family home is rented from a private landlord, paid by housing benefit and there are no significant assets, I have a £1000 car, she has a £1,000 car, rest is only sofas, glass table tv etc.

5 days after I was thrown out of my home I was due to launch a new venture where I was set to earn in excess of £1,000pw. The police had confiscated my phone and computer and made me home and officeless and I was unequipped to be able to start my new job.

I am still on state benefits as income with Mental health Disability living allowance.

Once I get my business up and going again I do not want to be investigated and have to prove how much I am making all because I got divorced. I have the potential to make 7 figures and I dont want to give my income to my wife who has torn down our family by her violence and thrown me to the police and social services making me homeless, childless and jobless.

On the basis of that letter it would be unwise to attempt to return to the Matrimonial home - instead I woudl suggest that you ask them to arrange for you to be released from the tenancy so that you can rent your own home elsewhere
I am afraid that whether there is a separation or a divorce the financial position will be the same - you will be liable for child maintenance if the children spend more time with your ex than with you.
With regard to the children your starting point is to establish your new home and also a regular pattern of the children spending time with you before pushing for a fully shared care arrangement
Please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Will I be liable for maintenance if we agree on a 50/50 custody arrangement?

Will someone be monitoring the hours spent with each parent each week?

How can I get out from under the power of these documents? When do they expire? Is there a similar document I can send them?

Indeed do these documents even have any power over me?

Am I a mouse for accepting them and not fighting back for my kids?

Shall I just comply and aid as much as possible, but I am scared they'll come up with new allegations by re-assessing the relationship with my wife and using conjecture to put me under more pressure.

Are you suggesting I should just swallow being mistreated by the social workers and lump it. Even though they insist I assaulted my wife even when a criminal court cant see it. And say it all started from there, when actually it started from my wife spontaneously introducing violence into the household and the rest of us were just trying to cope with all the shock and emotional and psychological pain of it all. Seriously do you think a judge could see whats happened or are the courts actually known to be biased and full of entrenched responses.

Can I just take the social worker herself to court for lying, false allegations and abusing me so harshly?

I have temporary accommodation (5hrs travel each way) away from my children and the social services are going to hurt me by saying I am not having enough contact with my children, even though they were the ones that made me homeless! I feel like I have nothing to lose by just taking the social worker to court, will I get heard properly by a judge?

What documents are you referring to?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

The two contact letters telling me to keep away or else.

ie.The SS gave me a hand written note to sign when they told me to leave my home

and the letter from her solicitor saying

28th April 2015... that the relationship is now at an end. On her behalf, we ask that you not return to Family Home, and that you do not assault or pester her in future

It woudl not be wise to ignore these.
Instead you need to contact FamilY mediation
To discuss how you will have ocntact with the children and allow you to apply to the court order of agreement cannot be reached
I am afraid that you cannot take the Social Worker to court at all
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you Clare,

What is the reason I cant take the social worker to court, ie civil court?

Because you have no cause of action against her.
She was and is doing her job -
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thanks Clare, can I clarify

Will I be liable for maintenance if we agree on a 50/50 custody arrangement?

Do you think someone will be monitoring the hours the children spend with each parent each week?

If the children spend as many nights a year with you as with your ex then you will not have to pay maintenance
No one monitors this other than the pair of you
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you