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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33534
Experience:  Over twenty-five years experience
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I've been receiving Child Maintenance from my ex

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Hi - I've been receiving Child Maintenance from my ex for 2 years now for our son. I look after him 4 nights a week and my ex looks after our son for 3 nights a week. My ex has started refusing to buy my son any clothes. When my son asks his Dad for something like a new T shirt or a new pair of swimming shorts, his Dad says "Ask your Mum, that's what I pay maintenance for". My understanding was that we each buy whatever our son needs while he's staying with us. - I buy clothes he needs when he's with me, and his Dad buys clothes our son needs when he's staying at his Dad's. e.g. I buy a pair of swimming shorts for our son to use when he's here, and his Dad buys a pair for him to use when he's there.
Have I got this wrong? If not, and his Dad just stops buying clothes for our son, what can I do?
Firstly you have not got it wrong. He should be ensuring that the child has sufficient clothes etc when he is staying with him. The most drastic suggestion would be not to provide him with any additional clothes when he goes over for his three days - but you really ought to be trying to sit down and come to an agreement - perhaps through mediation - this is what the court would expect.Please remember to rate
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thanks for your reply, your reassurance that I've understood correctly really helps. However, he refuses to go to mediation. We arrived at the maintenance agreement through a negotiated divorce settlement, I'd hoped all the arguments would stop once we'd got an agreement in black and white, rubber stamped by a judge. Disappointingly there have been a few arguments, for instance he's always refused to contribute to any school uniform and I've ended up just letting that go. But I can't start letting him expect me to pay for stuff at his house. Next it will be demands for money for toothpaste, shoes, outings and goodness knows what else. Should I go back to my solicitor who helped me negotiate the agreement? I'm loath to do that, as it's expensive ... it would just be cheaper to knuckle under and just buy the clothes!

It may well be an idea to just get the solicitor to write him a letter - setting out his responsibilities if things can't be agreed. The problem otherwise if if you give a little he will take a lot.Please rate positively.
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