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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35059
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My wife is having an affair. I would very much like to divorce

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My wife is having an affair. I would very much like to divorce her.
My fear is that I will end up having to move out of the family home and will be forced to become a part time dad.
I was unaware that my wife was unhappy in our marriage, I'm not the type to hold someone against their will, but I fear loosing my family.
Ideally if she is unhappy then she should leave and pursue a single persons life. What is the best way forward?
Welcome to Just Answer
Thank you for your question.
I am a Solicitor and will assist.
May I ask:
Is your matrimonial home rented or owned? Value? Other assets and income of both of you
How old are your children
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Its Rented. There are no assets, a family car,we have separate banking accounts and savings.I'm on 25K and she's on 27K.
Our children are 5 & 7.
Thank you for confirming that for me.
In relation to divorce - you could if you choose to petition on the grounds of adultery. If you intended to petition for divorce on this ground must do so within six months of becoming aware of the adultery - otherwise you are taken to have "condoned" it.
The six months period only applies if you continue to live together after you discovery the affair. If they have not lived together for more than six months after finding out about the adultery then this time limit is not relevant.
Please note that if your wife was to contest your petition based on Adultery then you would need to prove your case.
It is a lot less acrimonious to include your wife's infidelity as a reason for a petition based on unreasonable behaviour. For this type of petition you need 6 - 7 reasons as to why you can no longer remain married to your wife. You could choose unreasonable behaviour if you had lived together for more than 6 months following the discovery of the affair.
In relation to the matrimonial finances - even though you have confirmed that there are no assets - then you should still consider entering into a clean break agreement . This should be sealed by the court so as to ensure that do not leave yourself open for a future claim.
In relation to your children - it is a child's right to be able to have a relationship with both their parents as long as there are no child protection concerns. It is understood that children thrive when they have a positive relationship with both parents. If you were married to their mother when they were born then you hold parental responsibility - being equals parenting rights. You would need to agree a schedule with children's mothers. If the mother is difficult then you should refer the matter to mediation. If agreement can't be agreed at mediation then you should make an application to the court for a child arrangement order. You should be able to share the time you both have with the children equally where this is possible and it the best interests of your children.
In relation to your matrimonial home - whether or not your name is ***** ***** tenancy - you are still able to reside there as it is the matrimonial home. If you can't decide who goes then you could try making an application for an occupation order. These are temporary exclusions for normally circa 6 months. The courts are very hesitate to make these types of orders as they do not like making people homeless. You should also consider seeking benefits advice you would be entitled too and also housing support.
Kind Regards
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Please remember to rate positively - happy to discuss further
Thank you for your question.
My name is ***** ***** I will do my best to give you some practical advice on the way forward
It is never wise to issue an Adultery Petition unless your ex is willing to admit it - or there is a baby on whom a DNA test can be completed.
Nor should the Adultery be referred to in a Behaviour Petition as the Family Court Judges have been no to reject it on the grounds that it should be an Adultery petition. You can however refer to her spending time with another person to the exclusion of your marriage.
With regard to the property there is little chance of obtaining an Occupation Order unless your ex is physically violent - or the atmosphere becomes so poisonous that it is not in the best interest of the children - and even then it is not likely that it will succeed - and it could backfire.
The best way is to use Family mediation to resolve which of you will remain in the current property - and which of you will rent elsewhere - no need for a bedsit as you are likely to be eligible for Housing Benefit if need be
Equally do not demand an equal share of the children's time. They are not items to be parcelled out - it is about whet they need and how best the two you as parents can fulfil those needs
If you have always fully shared the care of the children then such an arrangement is more likely - if she has always been the principal carer then start with alternate weekends - Friday to Monday and one night a week and build up to two nights when they are ready.
Again the real key here is mediation
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35059
Experience: I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your advice ClareI am still reeling from all this.
I do understand that despite the breakdown in my relationship with my wife, the most important thing is a normal balanced life for our children.
It pains me that I will have to consider not seeing them every day, my main fear is loosing my family and home through something that I feel a victim of.
May I ask how exactly I make a start with all this, who do I need to contact first, while I understand the basics, what is the logical order and roughly what is the time span from start to completion?
Start with Family mediationMuch can be achieved using this and it is possible that there could be ab early resolution of matters