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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1376
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I'm married but separated over two years we have

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Hi I'm married but separated for just over two years we have a joint mortgage, joint loan i dnt want to pay £5000 of it because he bought a car which is his and he has it, and we have two children together they stay with him at the weekends and they stay with me for the rest of the week i haven't recieved any maintenance of him. we both have separate lives now I have a partner and we live in a rented accommodation with my two children and he lives with his partner and her child in the house that we own together I have asked him to buy me out but he won't he has changed the locks on the house I want to move on with my life and I want to start thinking about me and my childrens future where do I go from here many thanks.
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
In relation to Child Maintenance - as the children spend more time with you than they do with their father than you are able to make a claim to the child maintenance service. The CMS have a calculator on their website which give you an idea of what the father should be paying. You could discuss this with the father and ask that he pays - if he doesn't agree then make a claim.
In relation to the matrimonial finances - if you are considering divorce / judicial separation then you can also make a claim in respect of the matrimonial finances.
In relation to the matrimonial finances - The correct process for dealing with the matrimonial finances and division is to go through a process known as full and frank financial disclosure. Yourself and your husband need to exchange full details of all assets ( including pensions) and liabilities before negotiations take place in relation to settlement. Everything is included in disclosure - all assets and all liabilities. This means the equity in the matrimonial home is included as well as your husbands car.
The normal rule for division is 50/50 however the matrimonial causes act sets out factors which could lead to a departure from this rule. A few examples are the likely earning capacity of both of you for the future, health needs etc
You should consider making a referral to a specialist mediation service. They can assist in relation to the process of disclosure and also in relation to negotiations about division. One such mediation service is the National Family Mediation service.
If agreement cannot be reached then an application would need to be made to the court. You can not make an application to the court until you have at least attempted mediation first. If there is sufficient equity in your property then the court can order a sale so that the equity can be realised.
It is very important that no division of any assets takes place until a court order is obtained.
If division is agreed without the need to apply to court then you should submit a consent order for Judicial approval prior to division and obtaining decree absolute. Not doing so could leave you open for a future claim. Claims have been entertained by the courts decades after divorce / separation - so it is important that you deal with things properly. If it is agreed that spousal maintenance will not be paid then it should be included in this consent order.
A Solicitor can help you draft the Consent Order to protect your position for the future.
In relation to your children - it's not unreasonable if you also want to spend a weekend with your children. Weekends are time when you get to spend quality time with your children. Mediation can also help you agree a schedule in relation to when your children spend time with whom.
Kind Regards
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