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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1437
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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If i sometimes work away few days can my ex stop

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hello - if i sometimes work away for a few days can my ex stop my wife having our (1 from us and the 2 from the ex) children on days that are scheduled to be my days. She currently uses her family structure to help her but is saying that if i am out of the country for a day they are not allowed to stay at mine. They have a sister at my house and i have joint parental responsibility of my sons and i would like to keep the structure of 50/50 care
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
i have drafted a response to this that i can share if required ?
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will try and assist you.
Please may I ask:
- what is the specific routine that you currently have in place?
- how long has this routine been in place?
- how old are your children?
- how often are you working abroad?
- do your children have a good relationship with your family?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
- what is the specific routine that you currently have in place? Around a 60/40 split 2 nights 1 week and 4 nights the next.
- how long has this routine been in place? Around 7 years
- how old are your children? 11 &14
- how often are you working abroad? Customer dependent and can be short notice. Sometimes once in a month, others 3 - 5 days in a month and i can not plan the days i go.
- do your children have a good relationship with your family? Yes Brilliant
Thank you for you responses.
Based upon your responses - I am surprised that the mother is raising issues.
The key point for you is your children's age. Your 14 year old is of an age whereby they are old enough to be able to say what it it is they want to do and with whom they want to stay. This is known as 'Gillick' competence. If the issue was before a court - the court would give strong regard to their wishes and feelings. If those wishes and feelings were to continue with a long standing routine with paternal family members that they have a good relationship, and in reality - it doesn't appear to be extensive time that you are spending abroad, then a court would likely make an order in line with such wishes and feelings.
A child is considered to be Gillick competent around the age of 13/14. For some children this is older and for some children this is younger. In reality if your 11 year old also wants the current routine to continue, which falls in line with your 14 year old, then this gives extra weight to your argument.
If your children's wishes and feelings are such, then it is going to be difficult for the mother to enforce her proposals without causing a reaction from the children.
You should consider making a referral to a mediation service do that the issue can be discussed with the mother and the schedule agreed / maintained.
If the mother does seek to restrict the time - then you should consider making an application to the court for a child arrangement order. Form C100. To Local Family Court. Fee £215. Before you can an application to the court you have to refer to mediation first. Before the first hearing a children and families officer will speak to you. You should explain the situation, great relationship that the children have with you family and the length if the routine. You should also ask the officer to consider recommending to the court that a report is undertaken in respect of your children's wishes and feelings.
Kind Regards
Please kindly remember to rate positively so that we get credited for our work.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can my ex do things like tell the school the children are not allowed to be picked up by my wife on my days etc and inforse her wishes without mediation first ?
The schools really shouldn't become involved when both parents have parental responsibility and there are no child protection concerns. That being said - schools are unpredictable. If the mother did take such a step don't try to collect as this could cause further issues - refer to mediation and if it can't be agreed - put your application in at court.
Kind Regards
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