How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Thomas Judge Your Own Question
Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33388
Experience:  Over twenty-five years experience
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
Thomas Judge is online now

I have recently found out the father of my child has been doing

Customer Question

I have recently found out the father of my child has been doing drugs, problem is it doesn't show up on the drugs test, where do me and my children stand with contact, I cannot trust him to have them unsupervised
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 2 years ago.
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
Please may I ask:
- what type of drugs do you think your ex is taking?
- what proof do you have that he is taking drugs?
- how old are your kids?
- what is the current regime for contact?
- how long has this regime been in place?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

its meow, I have seen messages between him and someone else asking them to get it for him, our son is 2 next month and my daughter is 4 but hes bought her up, he currently sees them every Tuesday 5-7 and Fridays 1-7 for a year and a half however its been the last few weeks ive told him it has to be at my home with me here as I had these massages shown to me

Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your response.
Did your ex not dispute taking the drug when you asked him?
What did he say when said you wanted to supervise?
Are you comfortable supervising? Is there anyone else you can trust to supervise ?
Do you think he would take drugs when the children are with him?
Would you be able to gauge whether or not he had been taking drugs when he attended to collect the children?
Any other child protection concerns about?
How does he treat the children?
Do your children like spending time with him?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

he denied ever taking drugs so I told him to do a drugs test he did 4 days later therefore would of been out of his system, I wouldn't know if hed take them with the children I mean ive told him not todrink around them and the next minute he took them to the pub so he could have a drink, as far as I know this hasn't happened since, I do feel comfortable supervising simply because I know their safe he said hed take me to court if I continued to only let him see the kids at my home. the children love spending time with him and and he has been brilliant with them in the past, theres not any other issues as such theres been incidents where things have happened such as him kicking my daughter because she was kicking him for attention and shes came home saying he doesn't play with her hes always on his phone and watching tv, but even when hes here hes not much different

Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your response.
It is going to be difficult to prove he's taking drugs if his results are coming back negative.
In respect of him kicking your daughter - if this happens again you need to report this to the police and social services so that they can investigate such issues.
I note that you consider him to be brilliant in many respects and also that the children do like spending time with him.
You do have a duty to safeguard your children. It appears to me that the father needs to prove to you that he can be trusted.
You should discuss with him how you recognise that it is important that he has a relationship with your children and that you do want to promote that but that you need to safeguard your children and need to know that he can be trusted. Perhaps you should suggest that you will supervise for a period of time - enough for you to be satisfied that he is able to refrain from his drug use. Moving forward as he is only having the children for a few hours at a time - you should at handover of the children assess whether he is under of drugs. You should do the same assessment on his return with the children. This should help reassure you that he is able to prioritise the children over drugs when they are with him.
It is correct that if your ex wasn't in agreement with your proposals then he could make an application to the court for a child arrangement order. Before your ex could make an application to the court he would first have to make a referral to a mediation service otherwise his application to court would be rejected.
Mediation is a service that try's to resolve matters without the need for court. It is a good idea to engage in mediation and put forward your proposals which both aim to promote the contact whilst keeping the children safeguarded.
If matters can't be resolved and he does make an application to the court then this doesn't mean that he is automatically correct. All children applications have to be passes to a Children and Families Officer (Cafcass) before the first hearing so that they can undertake safeguarding checks. These checks include police and social services checks as well as speaking to you. You should explain to Cafcass when they call you what your concerns are and the actions you have taken to try to still promote contact whilst safeguarding your children. Cafcass will make recommendations at the first hearing. The court will only make orders when the children's welfare requires the same.
Kind Regards
Please kindly remember to rate positively so that we get credited for our time. Your question will not close and I can answer your follow up questions for free.
Expert:  Thomas Judge replied 2 years ago.
what drugs test did he do?