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Thomas Judge
Thomas Judge, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33534
Experience:  Over twenty-five years experience
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I have been married past twelve years to my wife and

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I have been married for the past twelve years to my wife and we have 2 beautiful lads who are 10 and 6 years old. Due to my wife's infidelity we are separating, and she wants to keep the kids and stay in the house and for me to pay half the bills.
I am considering moving with my kids to my parents, without her permission. They want to stay with me. Am I committing an offence?
The relationship is over.....where do I stand legally. Can I do this and for how long? What are the chances of me keeping them? I have a stable well paid job and my family to support me.
Can she snatch them from school...
What generally is the courts view....
Please advise in detail....
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
Under no circumstances should you remove the children without your wifes permission / knowledge even if your children have told you that this is what they want to do.
The Courts consider that children should have a good relationship with both of their parents and that spending time with both of their parents is very important - unless there are any child protection reasons as to why this should not happen.
The Courts are in favour of 'shared care' type orders as long as this is in your children's best interest and is feasible that you can both provide this type of care.
If you were to remove your children then your wife would likely ask for an urgent court order for the children to be returned to her. There would be a lack of trust between yourself and the mother and you are instantly putting yourself on the back foot and having to then fight to spend more time with your children.
The correct approach is to talk to the mother and to try and agree a schedule about who the children will spend time with and when. It is important that a routine is created so that your children no exactly when it is that they are going to be spending time with each parent.
If you cant agree between you - then you should consider making a referral to a mediation service. There are lots of mediation services and there will be one close to you. One such national service is
Mediation will try and help you both agree a schedule. If matters cannot be agreed at mediation then you can make an application to the court for a Child Arrangement Order - and the court will make the decision. Form C100. Send to local family court. Fee is £215. Applications cannot be made to court without first attending at mediation unless the matter is urgent. (if you took the children without telling the mother - she would be able to make an application to the court seeking their return without having attended at mediation first).
Children's wishes and feelings are given strong weight - when they are classed as Gillick Competent - that being old enough to say with whom they want to stay. This is normally around 14 - so your children are far too young right now. You should try not to involve your children is such discussions and the children will benefit if you and the mother can agree between you - the courts do want parents to agree without an application being made to court if possible. If however the mother is unduly restricting the time that you spend with your children - then follow the correct approach of referring the matter to mediation - then making an application to the court.
Kind Regards
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Who has had the responsibility or day to day care of the children or has then shared?
Even if you do have the day care it remains my advice that you do not remove the children without telling the mother. You need to discuss the plans moving forward. If matters can't be agreed - refer to mediation - then to court.
Kind Regards
It would be helpful however to know who has the day to day advice I am not entirely sure I agree with the advice provided
Thomas Judge, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 33534
Experience: Over twenty-five years experience
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