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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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My ex took me to court to get shared custody he had it noe

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My ex took me to court to get shared custody he had it noe doesn't bother with the children and has stipped turning up for them and has no contact can I get sole custody now??
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and with assist you.
Please may I ask:
- how old are your children?
- when was the court order made?
- when was the last time that your ex spent time with your children?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

My children are 11, 8, 5 and 3 court order was made IinJanuary and last time he had any contact was july children have tried to contact him but he has ignored them and t o ld me he wants money off me before he ever has them again, the reason i think he had the court order in the first place was because ibleft h fr years of domestic violence he still wanted ccontrol over me and the children ie, my parents wanted to take the children on holidays which they have done in the past while we were still together but since court order he refused to let them go alot of things like this have happened

Thank you for your response.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been experiencing with your ex.
It sounds like you were right all along about him just using the children proceedings as a way of continuing to control you - if he is now demanding money from you before he sees the children. I note that he has not your children since July despite the order having only been made in January and I note that you have attempted to encourage the father.
It is possible to make an application to the court to vary the current shared care order. You would do this on Form C100. Court fee is £215 and the form is sent to your local family court. You may qualify for court fee remission - dependant on your income. You should complete Form Ex160 if you would like the court to check and you should submit this with your application.
You would have to refer the matter to mediation first before you could make an application to the court - unless you have any of the specified exemptions in the C100 Form - such as domestic violence evidence.
Whilst I say you can make an application to the court - it would not have been my first thoughts when you described your circumstances to me initially until you stated about your parents wanting to take your children on holiday.
I say this because - making an application to the court - really gives an opportunity for your ex to come up with reasons as to why he has not taken up his time with the children - he may even blame this on you. It is quite likely that the court will give him another chance. It is quite rare for the court to make an order that he cannot spend any time with your children at all.
I would have suggested to just leave things as they were - for you to note when he stopped spending time with the children and the attempts that you made to encourage him. As more time passed - it would further demonstrate his lack of commitment to the children. You would then have grounds to argue that the children should not be available as per the shared care order - due to the emotional impact on your children for his lack of commitment. Your ex would then have to seek to enforce the order - which would become more difficult for him with the more time that passes.
Since however it looks likely that he is not going to provide his consent for the children to travel abroad - you are going to have to make an application to the court for Temporary Leave to take the children from the Jurisdiction for the purpose of a holiday. This application is also made using the C100 Form and you can make both applications to the court on the same form.
It is the view of the court that children will enjoy a holiday abroad and they should not be denied the opportunity without good reason. Your ex is going to have to successfully argue that the children are not going to be brought back to the jurisdiction for him to successfully oppose.
Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you.
Ps - you may be able to get legal aid and a solicitor to help you if you can get domestic violence evidence and you qualify on means. Check out this link - in particular the GP letter- if your GP considers that you are suffering from a condition such as stress as a result of your ex's behaviour and he completes the template letter - take it to a legal aid solicitor so that they can assess you.
Kind Regards
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