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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35054
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I live with my partner (not married) but lived together for

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I live with my partner (not married) but lived together for over 10 years. We have 2 children. Whilst we been together he has bought property and cars as I have been off work to look after the children, then back to work but only part time as I have completed degree study to ensure better pay. During this time he has supported the family and my wages when I was working have contributed to shopping and minimal expenses as I was on a low wage. He also has a limited company and I am named secretary (rental property) and I have assisted with preparing & decorating properties, tenants, rent collection and paying into the bank rent payments however this has been inconsistent over the years as once tenents are in a property they are there for a while and tend to pay standing order. I have never been paid for this work as my partner expected I did this due to him financially supporting the family whilst I was off work bringing up our children and whilst I was earning a low wage. The relationship has broken down - what can I expect from now - am I entitled to anything financially to help me get on my feet or is it just the CSA money. I am concerned that if I apply for CSA he will quit work and have no income (he can afford to do that) and he says all money tied up in property belongs to the limited company and not him therefore I would get nothing from that either. I feel over the years as well as bringing up our children I have contributed towards the limited company and have sacrificed my career and income to bring up our children and therefore not needing to pay for childminders - surely that counts for something. We were engaged until this breakdown. Also I am considering moving 100 miles away when we separate so I am nearer my family for their support - can I do this with or without his consent?
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
Who owns the house that you live in, how much is ot worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage
How old are the children?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Thank you Clare

The house was owned by my partner and was a new build - built for us to move into as a family in 2006. It is worth approx. £275,000 (recently valued) however I believe it has been re mortgaged recently to pay off other mortgage loans in the limited company. I know he has just paid off a £60k mortgage on a another property with his savings. Not entirely sure whats owing. The children are now almost 8 and 9 years old. Is that too vague? Sorry!

No that is fine - what income does your ex have?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

His income varies but he earns an approx. min of £600 a week to £1400 per week. That is his day job. His limited company has 4 houses paying approx. £550 a month each and a another property that is about £1200 a month. Some years over the time I have been living with him he has earnt £60 - 70k in his day job.....never less than £45k and some years more than £70k

Dod he ever promise that the house was as much yours as his?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No he never said that. I was told to choose décor etc and I do household chores but we just moved in with a new baby and that was our home - he never actually said it was mine. In fact he regularly reminds me that I had nothing when I arrived and everything belongs to him - its HIS house, HIS car, HIS money etc and enjoys reminding me I am financially in his debt as it were because he has paid the bills when I have been at home and not working!

The reason for the separation is increased 'controlling' behaviour - he has always put me down but now more than ever....tries to make me feel 'worthless' without him etc. Not physically aggressive! But emotionally destructive. I have kept a diary of this since 2010 when he started doing this regularly. Also has accused me of cheating on him (not true) and I have seen and photographed messages he has sent to women on social media that have been suggestive - some I have confronted him about (which he denies saying he didn't know he'd sent a message to anyone and claims he doesn't know about computers) and more recently I have not bothered to confront him just taken pictures! Not sure if this helps or not.

What financial value would you say you had contributed to the company?Does your partner receive dividends from the company?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.


I have put in no financial contribution, however as I have said I have helped with tenants, paying rent into bank, decorating properties for rent, gardening, etc which I was not paid for.

He doesn't receive a regular wage or amount from the company.

Hope this helps.

Do you know if he actually takes anything out of the company
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

He has bought a van and took expenses, but that's just assets etc. He paid off a mortgage with money in there but doesn't take cash out of the business

Ah but clearly he still takes an income from it which means that the CSA could complete an assessment on that income - so please try not to worry about thatIn terms of the property I am afraid that you have no financial claim on the equity HOWEVER your ex is under a duty to help you house the children until they are 18 and you could use Family Law to establish the right to remain there, rent free until then.Alternatively you could suggest to your ex suggesting that if he wants the property back he could pay you a lump sum instead.You should discuss this with him using Family ask if you need further detailsClare
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

What about the children? If I decide to leave the home and move closer to my family where I will get the support I need, can I just move them 100 miles without his consent?

My apologies - I overlooked that.
Have you discussed how the care of the children will be shared between you?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

No. He doesn't know I'm moving out....I'm not expecting it to go down well but I just can't take any more, especially not with my children to look after and starting a new career! I am in touch with you because I need to know vaguely where I stand before I do this as I am in a very vulnerable position! I need to move closer to my family as I have no one here for support. I just have to have some kind of idea what my rights are first. Does that make sense?

How involved is he with the day to day care of the children?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I do breakfast and take children to school. I pick up from school, I cook dinner, do homework and reading, I put them to bed etc etc. He will do some of that if he is around but works longer hours than me and therefore isn't always around. He takes them to football training as often as I do. So I mainly pick up their care!

However he said he is happy to retire at the point we split and therefore will be home to look after them all the time! But surely he cant do that?

The issue of where the children live is one which you will have to discuss between you using family you cannot agree then your ex can apply to the court for an order delaying your move until the court has decided whether or not the move is in the best interests of the children
Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

That is everything. Thank you....didn't get the answers I wanted but I got the RIGHT answers!!! Thank you for your advice and the links. You have been very helpful!!Smile