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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1440
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I've been in a civil partnership years, we had a little

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I've been in a civil partnership for 9 years, we had a little boy in 2007 by artificial insemination, my partner is the birth mother. We have recently split up. We have a joint mortgage on the house. We agreed that I would stay in the house and pay my partner out by giving her half of the equity of the valued asking price.
Would my ex be entitled to more of the value of the house because she had our son and is financially responsible for him?
I will be paying monthly to help with our sons upbringing and also looking after him.
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist.
Please may I ask:
- are you going to be applying to the court for a dissolution of your civil partnership?
- is your ex agreed in respect of the split in relation to the equity?
- are there any other matrimonial assets? pensions, savings etc?
Kind Regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes we will be applying for dissolution of the civil partnership in time. We were just sorting the house out first, my partner agreed to the amount from the equity of the house which was 50 :50 but now she has mentioned that she is entitled to more of the property with being the birth mother and being financially responsible for our son.
We don't have savings as such but both of us have decent pensions , I'm in the police ( PC ) and she is senior management in teaching.
I did originally put £60,000 in buying this property from the sale of my previous house .
Thank you for confirming that for me.
The normal rule for division is 50/50 however the matrimonial causes act sets out factors which could lead to a departure from this rule. One such factor is who will be the main care of children. A few other examples are the likely earning capacity of both of you for the future, health needs, etc.
It is therefore possible that you ex could argue that they are entitled to a larger share. Normally around 10 %
In relation to the matrimonial finances - The correct process for dealing with the matrimonial finances and division is to go through a process known as full and frank financial disclosure. Yourself and your ex would need to exchange full details of all assets ( including pensions) and liabilities before negotiations take place in relation to settlement. Everything is included in disclosure - all assets and all liabilities.
You should consider making a referral to a specialist mediation service. They can assist in relation to the process of disclosure and also in relation to negotiations about division. One such mediation service is the National Family Mediation service.
If agreement cannot be reached or your ex won't engage in providing full and frank disclosure then an application would need to be made to the court. You can not make an application to the court until you have at least attempted mediation first.
It is very important that no division of any assets takes place until a court order is obtained.
If division is agreed without the need to apply to court then you should submit a consent order for Judicial approval prior to division and obtaining the final dissolution order. Not doing so could leave you open for a future claim. Claims have been entertained by the courts decades after dissolution / separation - so it is important that you deal with things properly.
A Solicitor can help you draft the Consent Order to protect your position for the future usually for around £300.
Kind Regards
Please kindly remember to rate positively so that we receive credit for our work
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
The equity we have in the house is £100,000 so I was paying my partner £50,000.
I was also going to contribute financially to the upbringing of our son, does this not effect the settlement .
Does the £60,000 that I originally put into buying the house come into play ? Will this extra amount be considered in the settlement ?
Thank you for your response.
You will have to pay maintenance for your son in addition to the matrimonial settlement. You liability in respect of maintenance is under the Jurisdiction of the Child Maintenance Service.
They have a useful calculator on their website which will give you an idea as to what your liability is in this regard:
In respect of your deposit on the house and how a court would view this - would depend on fairness and need. If needs can be met with offer you are making - ie the housing needs of your ex and your son - then a court may think it is fair to allow you to retain a share. It however not always possible to ring fence your previous contribution.
In reality you are probably only about 10K in dispute. If you were to instruct a solicitor for contested financial proceedings then this money would be spent on legal fees - the same goes for your ex.
My advice is to engage in mediation - try and negotiate through mediation that your contribution was large and that you are trying to be as fair as possible - which you clearly are. If matters can be agreed at mediation then you don't have the risk of litigation.
Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you.
Kind Regards
Positive feedback is gratefully received.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I wasn't thinking of getting any of the £60,000 back but was thinking it would balance the settlement out. What do you think ?
Re financial payment to our son , I am willing to pay towards his upbringing as I love him dearly and want the best for him but am I legally obliged to with him being born prior to April 2009 and my name not registered on his birth certificate ?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Can I just add that my partner is on about £1,000 more than me to take home each month, will this work against me or for me in contributing to our son and the extra money (10% ) that she could apply for from the equity of the house?
Thank you for your response - my sincere apologies - I had missed the date. As this was before the 06.04.09 you do not have any legal rights and therefore no liability for maintenance. If you want to formalise the arrangement - you could ask your partner if they will agree a Parental Responsibility Agreement or you could apply to court for a Parental Responsibility Order.
I agree with your logic and I do not think that your offer is unfair based on your previous financial contribution being more than what you are actually asking for back. The problem is that your ex could well argue that it is all still matrimonial assets. Your contribution will be a consideration for the court but the court could decide that the needs of your ex mean that she should get a larger share.
This is really why you need to consider mediation because whilst a court may decide needs are met and the assets should be divided 50/50 - they could also think that needs are not met and order more for your ex.
At mediation you are able to reason with your ex that you are being fair and that battling this out at court will serve neither of you ant good as it will only cost in legal fees the extra that she might be asking for. Your ex needs to lay her cards on the table and tell you exactly what it is she is seeking. If she does settle on 50/50 then make sure this is embodied in a consent order and sent to the court for approval.
I hope this clarifies.
Kind Regards
Just seen your extra post - this does work in your favour if she earns more than you.
You could technically apply for spousal maintenance if she earns more than you. This could be rolled up and offset against what you are paying her in the house.
Taking this into account, without knowing all the other information in respect of disclosure, your offer is fair.
Kind Regards
Just a further point I would like to add - as I dont think I've made this clear to you yet - given that your son was born pre 06.04.09
What your ex is arguing is that even though you do not have legal obligation to pay for your son under the CMS - in respect of the dissolution and the share of matrimonial assets - the court would still include your son in its considerations. Under s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 the priority with splitting assets is the welfare of any "children of the family" meaning any children who lived with you, not just natural children of their relationship.
Kind Regards
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