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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34897
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have a 10month old son. He sees his father at a supervised

Customer Question

Hi i have a 10month old son. He sees his father at a supervised contact center. I decided to keep the father off his birth certificate because giving him parental responsibilities will give him the power to do things out of spite ie taking my son on holiday abroad, i believe i would need his permission which he will deny etc etc. Giving him parental responsibility will mean a life time of court hearings with him controlling every situation and i cant bare the thought of this. He is threatening taking me to court to have his name put on and reading things on line it looks as though as soon as a DNA test proves he is his son they will put his name on regardless of the sort of person he is. I probably should also mention that he sexually assaulted me in outmr relationship and showed agressive, controlling, manipulating behaviour. There is police record of this but i couldnt take it rurther to court because there was no proof for what he did. Please help me decide what to do. Knowing what all the outcomes are will be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Clare
I will do my best to help you but I need some further information first.
What is the current pattern of contact?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He sees him for an hpur once a week and has been seeing him since he was 3months old. I have been gradually allowing him unsupervised contact by starting with 15mins then 30mins and now 45mins unsupervised. He is hoping for an hour but ice decided to keep it at 45mins
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Would my reason for keeping his name off the certificate be good enough in the courts eyes. Would they agree that he shouldnt have parental responsibilities?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry but I do not have good news on the Parental Responsibility point
The fact that he has shown a commitment to the child and has built a relationship with him means that if an applictaion to the court is made then he will be granted Parental Responsibility since the matters you are concerned about can be dealt with in other ways.
In addition if he applies to the court his contact time will certainly be increased - with two hours a week as a likely outcome - and building from there.
PR doe snot allow him to control you at all - all it means is that he is entitled to consulted on major issues such as school and health
However if you think he will indeed create major issues when you wish to go abroad then you can ask the court to make a Child Arrangement Order stating that the child lives with you which allows you to take the child abroad for up to 28 days at a time without his agreement
However it may be that if contact progresses your ex will be less desperate about PR.
As a starting point consider using a family mediator who offer shuttle mediation (so you are not in the same room) to discuss the way forward
Sorry not to give you better news - please ask if you need further details
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I figured this would be the case. So if i wanted to go abroad for holiday do i need to inform him at all. He doesnt really need to know if were going on holiday or not or will i get stopped at passport control? Or as i have read on line, if he finds out once i come back from holiday he can charge me for child abduction because i didnt get his concent?
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
None of the above!
You would not get stopped at Passport Control unless your ex applied for an Order on the basis that you are going abroad for good - nor can you be charged with child abduction when you get back
If he has PR then technically yes you need his permission to go abroad on holiday and if he doesn't agree then he can apply to the court for an order preventing it HOWEVER the court would not see this as reasonable - and would most probably make the Order I referred to in the answer!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you very much for your help it has relieved a lot of stress even if its not what i wanted to hear i know where i stand and how to handle what is to come.
Thank you for your time, kind regards.
Stacy :-)
Expert:  Clare replied 2 years ago.
You are welcome
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