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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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Is it reasonable to expect a wife to contribute financially

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is it reasonable to expect a wife to contribute financially when she has decided to separate but will not move out of the family home?I am stuck in a situation whereby i pay for everything, have been duped into marriage, will not abandon my family home and cannot get a mortgage on another property without being released from the wife refuses to discuss financial arrangements and has maximised her debt so she relies on me completely to fund her.
all of our children are over 8 and she runs a cake business (off the books)whilst i dont want acrimony, i believe as it her choice to end the marriage she should take responsibility to contribute financially to her new independant world without me.
she is preventing me from dropping my children at school, restricting my involvement in their lives and refusing to agree to separate physically from our family home.She has stated she will not go to work until they are 18 (10 years in the case of my daughter)
she has stated she will apply for benefits as soon as i no longer live with her and she expects that she will continue to live and operate how she was able when we were in love.i have not instigated the separation, my children are suffering and she has accussed me of both physical and verbal abuse (not true)i am very concerned for both my children and my sanity/safety, what should my next steps be?
am i best to start divorce proceedings and make financial offer to her?
I have already determined that 50/50 of everything is fair and that i would contribute significantly more than standard maintenance payments for the support of our children.My concern is that i am forced to move out of my family home, continue to support all financial needs and am unable to build a new life able to accomodate my children in the small time i will be given with them...
Hi, thanks for your further question.
Please can you confirm if the matrimonial home is owned, or rented and in whose name it is in. Also, the value and any outstanding mortgage?
Have you now moved out of the property and if so, what are the arrangements for you to see the children?
Harris and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
home is owned - was shared ownership (half) and i purchased the other half with freehold in the same year we married.
it is in both our names as i have viewed all of our assets as equal shared for the 19 years of our relationship.
we have a mortgage of 227000 and the value of the property when purchased in full was 280000 and i have spent 40,000 on it within the last year, renovating every room (built new loft conversion) as well as working.
It is now worth 360,000.
I have borrowing potential which would enable us to live separately in 2 properties and believe the asset could be sold and divided fairly 50/50 and provide for two separate mortgages if she was prepared to contribute financially.
It is my belief that both parents should have the ability to accommodate our 4 children based on a 50/50 share of parental responsibility.
I have not and will not move out until financial agreement is made as i am not initiating the divorce or separation or decision to share family between 2 homes.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
the arrangements for me to see the children are that if she chooses to allow me to be involved in their life i can, but equally i can be excluded if she sees fit.
Thanks for the further information.
In relation to child arrangements, unless there are concerns regarding the level of care you provide the children then she cannot set conditions regarding your arrangements to see them or have them stay with you.
Given that the marriage is long and you have four children, the division of assets would need to be at least 50-50, however it may be more in her favour given that her current circumstances may not allow her to be independent or even raise a mortgage herself, therefore she may likely be seeking to remain in the property.
When considering how assets should be divided the court will take into account all your assets and all her assets and follow the following criteria when deciding on what an equitable split should be:
1. The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would, in the opinion of the Court, be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;
2. The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
3. The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
4. The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
5. Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
6. The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;
7. The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would, in the opinion of the Court, be inequitable to disregard it;
8. In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring (e.g. a right to your husband’s pensions).
In the first instance I would suggest that you make a referral to an independent mediator who can sit down with both of you to reach agreements in relation to both the child arrangements and finances. If mediation does not assist then you will be able to pursue court applications regarding the respective issues.