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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1469
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I had an affair back in April last year. We have been

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I had an affair back in April last year. We have been married 10 years last October. It's 2nd marriage for both of us. My husband has now decided to leave me although he has known about the affair for the last 6 months. I took on his 3 children (who he has custody of) as well as my own) The youngest child is now 18 and in Uni, and is also moving out. He has always paid all the household bills and I have always paid for holidays and the fun things. He is not giving me any financial support so I have had to return to work to pay all the household bills. We dont own the house but the lease is in my name only as I have lived there for almost 20 years. He has an endownment policy that is due to mature next year to the approx value of £35,000, plus he has a works pension. Because I had the affair am I entitled to any financial support? During the marriage I also paid off his debts of £18,000. I dont want him to go, this is his choice, but I understand why he's doing it, as I also had a breakdown last summer so things have been tough for him. I just need to know, is he obliged to help support me, and on what grounds will the divource be?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
(Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Please ignore, I do not want a live phone chat
Welcome to Just Answer
I am a Solicitor and will assist you.
Please may I ask:
- how much do you each earn?
Kind regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He earns just under £50,000 per year, I havent completed a full month yet but last months salary of 3 weeks was £850 gross
Thank you for your response.
Please may I also ask - is divorce contemplated now?
Kind regards
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes, he wants a divorce but i dont
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He want a divorce, I dont, but it will happen yes
Thank you for clarifying that for me.
If either yourself or your husband decided to issue for divorce - then either of you could also make a claim in respect of the matrimonial finances.
There is a set process for dealing with the matrimonial finances and the first stage is whereby full and frank disclosure is exchanged between you and your husband in respect of all of the matrimonial assets. Everything is included in disclosure including all assets and liabilities.
With such a long marriage as yours - then the starting point for the division of assets is 50/50. The Matrimonial causes act sets out factors which could lead to a departure of this rule. Examples are; the earning capacity for both of you for the future, future health needs etc etc. As your husbands earning capacity is larger than yours - you should be arguing for a larger say 60%.
You can also claim for spousal maintenance- as your husbands earning capacity is higher then yours. A court can arrange interim maintenance if you are struggling in the interim whilst the divorce is ongoing.
Please note that behaviour such as having an affair will not affect you making a financial claim or affect the outcome of such a claim.
The next step would be to refer your case to Family Mediation. Family Mediation is essential - as you have to refer to Mediation before you can make an application to the court otherwise the court will reject your application.
Family Mediation will try and assist you and husband in respect of disclosure and negotiation about division. If matters can be agreed at mediation then it is essential that a Consent Order is prepared to confirm what has been agreed. This consent would be then be submitted to the court at the same time as applying for decree absolute in divorce proceedings. Once approved by the court - it becomes legally binding. If this step is not taken then it is still possible for a party to seek a settlement in the future, even years down the line.
If matters cant be agreed at mediation then the matter would have to be made the court. The court would make the final decision.
If divorce isn't contemplated then you should consider a separation agreement to include provisions about division and maintenance. Such agreements are not technically binding on a later family judge but they will often be followed if considered fair and full disclosure took place.
Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you
Kind regards
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