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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1371
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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Am 65 year old grandmother with SGO bringing up over the last

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Am 65 year old grandmother with SGO bringing up over the last 5 years 2 grandchildren (girls). The father (from Ghana illegal now with a visa to stay in Britain) has I month contact. This has not been a pleasant experience over these years but I have managed. Girls have not - don't want to see him are frightened of him. There was domestic violence of the worst kind - my daughter now having Post Traumatic Stress help from Hospital. Eldest child saw dm and was part of it herself. He always states he prefers youngest child to eldest. Also told girls not to eat what I cook - to break the things I buy them (they ate now on their third bed) and not to do what I say. Girls now have doctor saying visits to be reduced - camhs say his PR should be stopped and Manala project saying his visits are mentally and emotionally damaging to the girls. What age will the courts listen to the girls and what they want. Please help.
Hello Welcome to Just Answer I am a Solicitor and will assist you Can I just clarify - have you already applied for the contact order to be amended? is that when the Judge said that his human rights will go above your SGO? how old are the girls? Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
No I have not started the amendment yet. The Judge said hr over my sgo at the court 5 years ago when I got the sgo and the girls. The girls are nearly 10 in May and ( in September.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Jasmine 9 (10 in May) and Victoria 8 (9in September)
Hello Thank you for your response. I think that you shouldnt worry about what that Judge said 5 years ago. The girls have been with you for a long time and if the Professionals such as Camhs and the Manala Project are telling you that the girls health are being affected by having contact with their father then you really should be returning the matter back to court and the forms that you have been told are the correct ones. Children are considered Gillick Competent at around 14 - this is when the ocurts give strong weight to their wishes and feelings. Even and 8 and 9 - the court will give consideration to their wishes and feelings in light of their age and understanding. In reality - you have a SGO - which means the local authority are to offer you support. This support can include legal fees - on this basis its worth asking them to pay. I would get letters from Camhs and the Manala Project to confirm what they are saying - that these to the LA and tell them that it is necessary that matters are returned back to court. Even if they dont pay - these letters (and any subsequent reports the court may seek) will be strong evidence that the fathers contact needs to be considered again to see if what is currently ordered is actaully in the girls best interest. Please dont hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to rate positively so that we receive credit for helping you
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline This Monday I received what looked like a solicitors letter from father accusing me of not letting him see the girls. This is far from the truth. On calling out camhs who took the letter away I have since found out that it is a scam letter made up by the father. It is now going to camhs onwoodsman in London. I feel very vunarable with the children. Is there anything I can do about this as I have to contact him on Monday for his next visit. The girls do not want to do it. Ann Your previous help has been brilliant.
Hello Ann I am sorry to hear about this. If you are worried and the professionals are telling you that contact is not in the girls best interest - then you should consider stopping contact and returning matters back to court so the court can decide. If he becomes abusive then do not hesitate to contact the police for assistance. How did you get on asking the LA to pay for a solicitor for you? Kindest Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Have gone back to my solicitor and have sent in medical letters from Drs and camhs on the girls mental state. Waiting to hear wheather he can get me legal aid. The father is extremely slippery and nasty so need someone that can handle this. Camhs have sent the letter to London to their ombudsman. However my immediate problem is his visit is due next Saturday. Do I carry on or do I not do it. The girls are mixed. I feel very vulnerable.
Hello You have to protect the girls and if the professionals are telling you that the contact is causing the girls harm then you should consider suspending the contact until the court decides what is in the childrens best interest. If he doesnt agree then his recourse is to return matters back to court anyway - and if he does this the court will still want to investigate what is being said by the professionals. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Camhs have said that he should loose his PR as well as contact rights. All I'm doing is worrying in case the girls get taken away from me. If I cannot get legal aid from solicitor then I have got the C100 form but have to go through mediation first as you said - this won't work either - already been tried he just turns on the charm whenever it is needed and agrees with the professionals making me look the idiot. Then when we are away from professionals we get the real person Mr Nasty.
Do not worry that the children are going to be taken away from you - that isnt going to happen. You have been a consistent carer for the children for a long time and the courts will recognise this. You have to be guided by what the professionals are telling you and protect the girls wellbeing. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you. I do think that contact should stop until sorted out in court due to his abuse of the girls. Also because of the letter which was bully boy tactics I don't know how he is going to be and he has already had two angry visits aimed at me. All I can feel is his total hatred of me and my family who he has told the girls "he wants dead". I am then worried about the contact order and whether I am breaching the court order.
whilst it is technically a breach - from what you have told me the court will expect you to act on the advice of the professionals and protect the girls until the court can investigate. Do not worry you are doing the right thing. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you.
your welcome - let me know how you get on. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline Can't get any worse but it has. Camhs found out that the scam letter was written by a barrister who had been struck of in 2002 with disciplinary action. She is also high up in the black church. The father has rung after I had rang him twice and asked if I was alright. I said I had received the letter "oh I knew this would happen" followed by laughing. I said that all contact had been stopped and I would see him in court. NOW I AM WORRIED. Although ill with a virus type flu. Went to the police they said that I would not prove he had sent it. Went to the MP said they could not help but they sent me to CAB. The solicitor I had hoped would help me told me off for sending him 2 letters when I had not got legal aid yet. I really don't know what to do.
Hello Do not worry. If you don't get legal aid then you can make the application to court yourself. Its a bit stupid of him to be sending sham letters. The court will sort out what is in the girls best interest. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I want to get him out of the girls lives. I am going for mental and emotional abuse. I have written down evidence over the years.
Do you think anybody will listen to me. Also the sham letter has actually made me ill with the stress of thinking I was going to be arrested. Seeing the Dr tomorrow. I would like to think he would be in deep water for the letter not just a smack on the wrists. Also I would like to have this barrister investigated how do I do that?
Hello If the professionals are telling you that the girls spending time with their father is causing them than harm then you will be listened. I dot specialise in criminal law but I doubt he would be arrested unless there was a threat that could be linked to the father. If the barrister is already disbarred then it is unlikely that the Bar will investigate a complaint Sorry to hear how this is affecting you. Kindest Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks for your time again.
any time :)