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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1431
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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Good Afternoon. My son and his now ex-partner have a 4 week

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Good Afternoon. My son and his now ex-partner have a 4 week old son. Unfortunately they split up 4 weeks before he was born. From day 1 of the pregnancy it was clear that the baby's mother did not want my son in her life. She is 27 next week and he will be 25 this year. He always told her that he was not ready to be a father and we now feel that she may have tricked him into having a baby. The baby was born 4 weeks early and my son stayed with her the whole time. She had an outburst in hospital and Social Services were called but no action was taken. When they came out of hospital my son then had Paternity leave and tried to see his son every day but her parents, who she is living with made it extremely uncomfortable for him to do so. 2 weeks ago her dad assaulted my son, who made a statement to the police. Although he has since retracted this because he is frightened it will make the situation worse, the police are still going to talk to her father. None of our family or friends have seen the baby. Her parents won't let my son bring him out of the house and none of us want to go over there, because the atmosphere is so bad. My son doesn't want to go to the house on his own in case they start on him. He made an appointment to get the baby registered which she cancelled and she hasn't made another one yet. We don't know if she will put his name on the birth certificate. We have done everything we can to try and smooth the situation, but nothing is working. His ex is demanding money and also spreading malicious rumours about him. He gave her a loan of £1000 and paid out £400 for a pram before they split up. He ex-partner's mother had agreed to pay for the pram but said she didn't have the money to pay for it at the time. She later gave the money to her daughter. His ex is not interested in mediation and I doubt that she will agree to a Family Arrangement. She said that my son can see the baby for 2 hours on a Sunday at her house, but that really isn't going to work due to the hostility towards all of us. My daughter is getting married in 6 weeks and this situation is ruining everything. My son has been amazingly calm. He says he doesn't feel like a father as he has not had a chance to bond with his son. We would really appreciate some advice.
Hello Welcome to Just Answer I am a Solicitor and will assist you. I am very sorry to hear about the current difficulties. Please may I ask - is your son named as the child's father on the child's birth certificate? Kindest Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline. She has not registered the baby yet.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline Will you be able to send me a reply by the weekend?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline. Will you be able to reply by the weekend!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline
A couple of developments tonight. My son paid an amount of money into her bank account that the Child Maintenance people said he should pay. Her response was that she didn't want it and would transfer it back. This seems very strange given the fact that she has been pestering him for money for the last 2 weeks. She will probably now say that he is refusing to give her any money. She is also saying that he can only see his son for 4 hours per week. This seems totally unreasonable.Kind regardsLynne
Dear Lynne My sincere apologies for my delay in responding to you this evening. As your son is the father of the child - he is able to ask a Family Court for Parental Responsibility - if she does not put his name on the birth certificate. Your son can also ask the Family Court for a Child Arrangement Order to confirm that time that he can spend with his son. Please be reassured that it is the position of the Family Court that children are entitled a relationship with both of their parents as long as there are no child protection concerns. It is also the position of the family court that parents should share responsibility and that neither parent has greater rights then the other parent. I note that your son has only been offered a limited amount of time and that this is being 'supervised' by the mother at her house. If your son can meet his son's needs then there is no need for such restrictions. I note that you have already considered mediation but you do not think the mother will engage. Your so will still have to refer the matter to mediation before he can make an application to the Family Court. This is a new rule and if your son doesnt refer to mediation first then the court will automatically reject his application. If the mother doesn't engage in mediation then the mediator will sign the application form that he needs to apply to court to prove that he has attempted mediation. The court application form (C100 Form) would be sent to your local family court. The court fee is £215. If the mother keeps denying contact - its better to make his application sooner rather than later - so that he develops a meaningful relationship with his son. Im not quite sure what the mother is up to by requesting money for maintenance and then saying that she doesn't wan this money. If the matter hasnt yet been referred to the Child Maintenance Service then she wont be able to seek any back pay - as the CMS will only start liability from when the matter is referred to them. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further. Kindest Regards Caroline Please kindly remember to star rate my service. Once you have left a star rating your question will stay open and I will be answer your follow up questions for free.
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline
Thanks for your reply. The police went to talk to me son's ex partners father on Thursday night. As soon as the police left the were quite abusive to him so he didn't stay long. He went to their house at 7.30 tonight as she had said he could and surprise surprise she was out. My son sent her a text and she denied agreeing to that time. She has also said that because he got the police involved none of our family are allowed in the house. As he is frightened to go to the house alone, it is going to be very difficult for him to see his son at all. I am running out of ideas and patience!?Kind regardsLynne
Dear Lynne It doesnt sound like you are going to get far with this family. You all need to be careful to protect yourselves against any allegations they may make. I recommend that you do refer to a local mediation service and then for your son to make an application to his local family court for a child arrangements order. Kindest Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks Caroline. I've emailed the Family Court but they have said it will take 7 to 10 working days to get a reply. Is there anything else we can do? The situation is becoming increasingly difficult.ThanksLynne
Hello Lynne You need to go to mediation before you can make an application to the court. First step is google a family mediator in your area and give them a call to refer. If you don't take this step then the court will reject your application. Kindest Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Caroline. Things haven't got any better and my son has only seen his baby for 4 hrs over the last 2 weeks. He rang the Mediation service this morning to be told that his ex has already contacted them. He has a meeting with them on Friday. He is now very worried that she is up to something and will try and stop him seeing his son. Can she do this?Kind regardsLynne
Hello Lynee Unless there are any child protection concerns as to why your son shouldn't be spending time with his daughter then I really wouldn't worry. Hopefully mediation will assist in moving matters forward. If not then your son should apply to court. Kindest Regards Caroline