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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1440
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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My husband and I received a facebook message on Wednesday

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My husband and I received a facebook message on Wednesday evening from a female claiming that my husband was the father to her 14 year old son.
We immediately made contact with her, and she explained that she had a one night stand with my husband (which he remembers but cannot confirm dates) and then started a relationship with her ex partner whom she claimed was the father. They then went on to have 2 more children and have recently split up. Apparently they are in some type of custody battle and claims that a DNA test has been done which shows that he is not the father. She was adamant that my husband was without doubt the father.
Following this we instantly purchased a online DNA peace of mind test. This has arrived and now this female wont response to texts??
We are desperate for some sound advise asap.
Hello Welcome to Just Answer I am a Solicitor and will try to assist you. Please may I ask - do you have any other contact details for the mother other than facebook?Has she intimated the son may have been told that your husband is his father? Kind Regards Caroline
* Has she intimated TO the son may have been told that your husband is his father?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
We have her phone number. I asked her for her address in order to drop off her part of the DNA test but as yet hasn't given it to us?
I also asked her if this child knew of this situation and she just replied "kinda". I believe hes grown up knowing/believing that her ex partner was his dad. From my own investigation work on facebook it appears they still have a fairly strong relationship? Hes wished him happy birthday and as such?
My husband and I have 3 children ourselves and are obviously shocked and devastated by this situation but we are keen to do the right thing. What ever that may be?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
she hasn't intimated that to me - no?
Hello Thank you for your response. This is of course a very uncomfortable situation. If the mother has now stopped responding, then it may be that her 'tiff' with her partner has ended and she is regretting getting in touch. It is possible for you to make an application to the Family Courts for 1) a declaration of parentage and 2) a n order to spend time with the possible son but you may come across these difficulties if the mother has now gone 'quiet' : - The partner may have been named as the childs father on his birth certificate - and the court will therefore start with the presumption that he is the legal father- The court may consider that it is not in the childs best interest to know that there is another possible father for him and therefore they may not agree that a DNA test is in the childs best interest - because he has grown up knowing someone else as the father- The courts are unlikely to entertain an application to spend time with a child when they reach 14 or over So whilst you can make an application to the court if the mother stops engaging with you - then this may not get very far, but it is however your only avenue so you may still want to try. If the child has been told that your husband may be his father - then this may be a factor in your favour - as the child may be then keen to know more about your husband and your family (including his half siblings). I would suggest in the first instance that you refer your case to family mediation. There are lots of family mediation services and there will be one local to you. Just google family mediation in your area and give them a call to get the ball rolling. It does not matter that you only have a pone number for the mother as the mediator will be able to use this to try and make contact with the mother. You do in fact have to refer matters to family mediation before you can make an application to court - otherwise the court will automatically reject your application. If the mother wont engage in mediation - then the mediator will sign the form that you need to be able to apply to court. The court will also be able to search records such as DWP ti find the mother to service the court papers on her - if al you have is a telephone number. In respect of issues such as child maintenance - it is the Child Maintenance Service that has jurisdiction here. Do not worry that you will owe back maintenance - as the CMS only start liability from when / if a claim is made to them - so there will be no back monies owed. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can clarify anything for you. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate my service so that we receive credit for helping you today
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry to ask further questions but could you just clarify this - is the mother does contact me this weekend (which I do expect) can I push for the DNA test or would you suggest skipping the DNA test if she's reluctant and going down the family mediation avenue?
Don't worry about asking further questions - I am happy to help :-) Your question actually stays open when you have left positive feedback so I can continue to answer your follow up questions for free and therefore continue to help as the matter progresses. If the mother is still agreeable to having a DNA test then I have no issue with this. I would make sure that your test is an approved one - so that you know the results are reliable - see this list: The court does prefer parents to try and be able to agree the best way forward without the need for court if they can agree. If matters can be agreed without court being required - then this is fine as the courts need only become involved when there is a dispute / non engagement by the mother. Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you. Such a stressful situation.
My husband has just nipped out but as soon as hes back ill show him these answers and is he has any further questions we will be in touch.
Thanks again - really appreciate it.
Your welcome Kind Regards Caroline
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