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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I wonder if you can help me. There has been a history

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Hello I wonder if you can help me.
There has been a history of Domestic Violence I have also been in trouble before nothing of a violent nature and always in retaliation.
I did move out of the family home and filed for divorce which was ignored. I was also concerned about upsetting the kids even more so I would never push it to far.
I lost 3 members of my family in quick succession and was evicted from my old family home due to it having 3 bedrooms and me being a joint owner of my own home.
I secured a tenancy for a studio apartment but unfortunately the lease ran out and I was staying with friends and that didn't work so I only had the option of staying at the family home until I could secure somewhere safe and local. To cut a long story short my ex partner and my adult son (on occasion) have been extremely abusive - i did call the police and me ex was arrested and cautioned. i went out with friends the following week when I arrived home my eldest son started being abusive and arguing with me I pushed him away to which he said to his dad shall I call the police his father said yea go on - I was arrested but released without charge as my younger son was in the house both times the police have involved social services. They came here yesterday and she said that it was me that was causing the stress and if I loved my son as much as I say I do I would move out, I have done this before and it clearer does not work it just makes my ex partner more of a bully i also have no funds to move. The social worker who didn't seem to be listening clearly and kept contradicting events suggested to my ex partner that he get an occupation order against me. i wonder if you could give me some advice please, I am the mother
Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:-Are you in England or Wales?-Are you married to your partner?-Is the home owned or rented - and whose name is ***** ***** or tenancy in?-How old is your child?-Who is considered the main carer of your minor children?-What is your income and asset position?-What is your partner's income and asset position?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I am in EnglandYesOwned - MortgagedHe is 15My ex PartnerI am on JSA there is quite a bit of equity in the houseI am unaware of his earnings although I know they are quite high as he is a foreman carpenter he also has equity in the house
Are you separated and intending on pursuing a divorce? Are there any other assets that you both have, including savings and pensions?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I would like to be the carer for Jake me ex partner has made this nearly impossible i.e. telling Jake that I am not allowed to cook for him or help him with his washing also he tells Jake not to speak to me
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I still receive Child Benefit for Jake
Are you separated and intending on pursuing a divorce? Are there any other assets that you both have, including savings and pensions?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Yes I am going to pursue the divorce, I have no assets or pension, I am unsure about me ex partner
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He has said in the past that I will never get anything from this house - he will wait till I am dead -
Thank you for confirming.Firstly, in relation to the property - you have a legal interest arising out of the joint ownership, and a further right to occupy because of the legal interest and it being the matrimonial home. It is correct that either of you are able to apply to court for an occupation order, but this is difficult to obtain without there being serious risk to either you or your husband. The social worker is therefore incorrectly advising your husband about obtaining an occupation order based on what you have outlined he will not be successful in obtaining one. So for now you should remain in the home. As part of the divorce you will need to reach a financial settlement, initially this should be attempted either through negotiations or mediation (you can find independent mediators here: If a settlement is agreed this can be submitted to court under a consent order (together with a D81 form outlining your respective financial positions)If mediation does not progress you should then proceed with an application to court under Form A for financial relief. This would include consideration of all your assets and financial position, as well as your needs, as well as his financial position and needs and the court will decide what is fair when considering the following criteria:1. The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;2. The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;3. The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;4. The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;5. Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;6. The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;7. The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;8. In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring. In relation to the children matter, this can also be dealt with by the same mediator, and if no agreement is reached in mediation you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
you have been really helpful, do you think it would be beneficial for me to apply for an occupation order ? we have an extension that has a lockable door I could get a put up bed and sleep there as I am currently on the couch and he is saying that I cause him stress when he gets up for work although I get up at 6 and remove the bedding before he comes down the stairs he is just trying to bully me out again and I would really like to stand my ground. My youngest son is doing as his dad tells him at the moment, not to talk to me etc although he has just answered 'no' to does he want a coffee - I really don't want him to be used as a pawn so i am tempted to walk but know this is not a long term solution
I am not sure whether you have merits to obtain an occupation order based on what you have said. I appreciate that there has been domestic abuse and the current circumstances of living are not ideal - but a court will have to weigh up all the factors including excluding husband from the property and whether he will be able to maintain himself in separate accommodation and whether this is absolutely essential.I would suggest that the best course of action is to make a referral to mediation to assist with all these matters, and if no agreement is reached then you should pursue the court applications previously mentioned.
Harris and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I think I signed up for unlimited please tell me if I was wrong
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Ok thank you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sorry my ex partner has made it very clear that he will not mediate
Thanks - in that case you will be able to pursue the court applications and you have the exemption to attend mediation as a caution was made by the court against him
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Do I have to have a solicitor to do this or can I do it myself ?
You are able to represent yourself and deal with this without a solicitor, but a solicitor will ensure that everything is correct and dealt with properly. A solicitor will also provide a barrier between you and your husband as you will need to deal with everything directly with your husband if no solicitor is instructed.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
thank you