How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask ukfamilysolicitor Your Own Question
ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1439
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
Type Your Family Law Question Here...
ukfamilysolicitor is online now

I am looking advice about what rights I have with

This answer was rated:

Hi I am looking for some advice about what rights I have with my child. He Is now 8. Just before his 1st birthday I broke up with his mum (not married) because I wouldn't take her back she up and left the city with my son. She blocked me and my friends from being able to get in contact with her. I went to her dad for help he said he would try but nothing happened. I got told I had no rights as I wasn't on the birth certificate as she lied to me what day we were registering his birth. After months of trying to get in contact I had no luck and couldn't afford to hire a private investigator. Then the mum finally got in touch with me in 2014 when her and her husband split up. Since then i have seen him once every 3 weeks (I have every 3rd wkend off work). It was 1 day each time and then it increased to weekend in a hotel in their city (we live 100 miles away). We then decided for me to have him at mine either every 3 weeks or every other week. But then all of a sudden she changed her mind and only let's me see him 1 day every 3 weeks and she has cancelled at short notice twice in past 2 months meaning I don't see him at all. As soon as I had contact she started demanding money and I have helped her out when she needed with bills etc and recently have been buying all his clothes and paying for his school clubs and camp etc instead of child support which we both agreed was fine but she changes her mind all the time about what she wants. When she married she put her new husband on my sons birth certificate as his biological father which I thought was fraud as they knew that wasn't true (he didn't adopt him). I have 2 other children with my fiance and money is extra tight since my 4 yr old girl was diagnosed with cancer last year. Constantly having things changed is not helping her at all and am fed up with her crying because she can't see her brother. I went through emotional hell when he was taken from me the first time I can't go through it again and nor can my family. I have done everything she has asked but all I get is grief. Do I have any rights at all? Or do I just have to take whatever she gives me? Not sure if it's relevant but she has a daughter with her husband and they have been going through court as she stopped him seeing the kids he will now see them every other Sunday including my son which I understand just makes it harder as I think she will cancel on me more as she can as she has the control with me.
Hello Welcome to Just Answer I am a Solicitor and can help you. I am very sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are having with your sons mother. It is my understanding that you have had a good relationship with your son over the last 2 years and this has including overnight stays. However the mother is now seeking to restrict your relationship with your son again. Please may I ask - even though the mother has put her ex's name on your son's birth certificate - your son does know that your are his father? Kind Regards Caroline
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi he does now. He grew up thinking the other man was his dad but he was told before we started meeting up.
hello thank you for your response. I will prepare an answer for you now - this will take me about 10 minutes to type. Kind Regards Caroline
Hello In your circumstances I consider that you should apply to the family courts for a Child Arrangements Order. This is an order that confirms the time that your son spends with you. You should also apply for Parental Responsibility. It is the courts that it is a child's right to have a good relationship with both of their parents as long as there are no child protection concerns. The time that you are seeking to confirm that your son is not unrealistic and given that your son now has a good relationship with you - if the mother is seeking to limit your relationship with him then you do need to apply for this order. The first step you need to undertake before you can apply to court is to refer your case to family mediation in the area where your son resides. There are lots of family mediation services. Just google family mediation in the area close to where your son lives and then give them a call to get the ball rolling. Family mediation will try and help you and the mother agree a schedule for your son without the need for court. If the mother wont agree or if she wont engage in mediation then the mediator will sign the form that you need to be able to make your application to the court. If you don't attempt mediation first - then the court will reject your application - so you need to do this. The form that you need for court is this one: As you are not named on the birth certificate then you also need to fill out this form: As your son knows you are his father - the court will likely also grant you parental responsibility for him. You need to send your forms to the loca family court to your sons home with his mother - this link will show you where: There is a court fee of £215. You may be eligible for a reduction in the court fee dependant on your circumstances - see this link: Detail in your application the good relationship you have with your son now and how you want to confirm this arrangement so as to continue to have a good relationship with you. The court will want to promote this relationship. The court considers parents as equal, with no one parent having more rights than the other. So its best to get this order to confirm the position so that the mother cannot simply choose to be difficult and not promote your relationship. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for such a fast response. Is it illegal to knowingly put someone as the biological parent when you know it's false and they didn't legally adopt? I am hoping to get put on the birth certificate at some point but she seemed reluctant as didn't want to get in trouble.
In your experience would me having him at mine one weekend a month be reasonable? As was spending a fortune in hotels and had to keep getting permission to take my daughter that far from the hospital! Would have to work it out with the other dad's arrangement obviously.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
And thank you for the reassurance I've been under the impression the court always favours the mother so.good to know they encourage relationships with the dad
Hello I dont specialise in criminal law so I dont know if any criminal actions can be taken as a result. I doubt it - but I dont know. I can however tell you that if the court grants you the parental responsibility order that you have the birth records rectified. In reality as your son knows you are his father the court will likely grant you this order so that this can be done. Once a month for a weekend is not unreasonable at all. Also dont forget to ask for school holiday breaks etc - half the holidays is often the position. Your son has a right to have a good relationship with you and his half siblings and if she has allowed overnight stays before at your home then this should be able to continue. It is a misconception that courts always favour the mothers. Courts do not look favorably at all on mothers who seek to limit the relationship between the child and the absent parent. Please do not hesitate to ask if I can assist you further. Kind Regards ***** ***** kindly remember to star rate our service so that we receive credit for helping you today
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi thank you. I will definately rate your service highly. Unfortunately he hasn't stayed at mine yet she changed her mind just before he was due to stay at mine even after I told her I had bought stuff in for him ready (as I have 2 girls thought I should get some boy ish stuff in) bit he did come away with us on holiday for a long weekend and I had him for weekends in hotels he was supposed to.come on another holiday with us (through a charity) but she changed her mind 2 days before. Hopefully that shouldn't go against us though. Thank you for all your help hopefully the mediation will work.
Hello Sorry if I misread that - but given your circumstances with your daughter - I really do not think the court would be opposed to what you are asking for. If mediation doesnt work - dont be afraid to apply to court. You have a family and a homelife that your son should be able to be part of. Kindest Regards Caroline
ukfamilysolicitor and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you