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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I have two children aged 6 and 4. I have them on

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I have two children aged 6 and 4. I have them on alternative weekends and alternative Wednesdays.
I'm having a bit of an issue where the ex-parter, their mum, will turn up on the days that I have them and want to see the children and try ringing every night to speak to them.
She's quite sneaky about it though. On the Wednesdays for example; my daughter has gym in school on the Thursday so has to bring additional clothing. Her mum, doesn't give her the extra clothing on Wednesday morning so that it's back at mine after school for the next day.
She'll instead wait until they've finished school and then have to drop them off. She will not just drop the clothing outside either, she'll ensure to knock despite being asked time and time again, not to.
On the weekends, I state they will always ring alternative nights (every 2'd night) but she still persists on trying to call nightly.
I can certainly appreciate from her end, as a mother, it's not nice being away from her children etc but as the father, who just wants the time with his children, it's getting pretty annoying.
It always feels like when I have the children, it's being interrupted with her needing to drop this or that off when the kids have finished school, needing to call etc.
Is there anything I can do about this or is it pretty much a "just deal with it" situation?
Hi, thank you for your question. Are there any court orders in place or is everything agreed voluntarily?Either way, the time your children spend with you are for you to enjoy only. The mother should not be attending your property or continuously call the children during your contact as this impacts your time with them and will lead to confusion for the children. You need to formally (in writing) put your position to her and inform her that it is not in the children's interests for her to be doing what she has so far done, and that if she continues your only option will be to pursue an application to court for a child arrangement order to formalise the arrangements.If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you
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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
There are currently no court orders. Everything has been agreed mutually.Her argument is that she can't have the kids knowing that she's outside dropping stuff off and not knocking to speak to them.Would a court order actually cover something like this where it stops her coming to the property and knocking etc?Obviously, I have to have the gym clothing etc. If she doesn't give it to the kids to bring to school the day before, she somewhat has to come to mine so it's there ready for the next day. It's a bit of a catch-22.
A court order will regulate the arrangements and you can reach agreement that she does not attend the property and insist on seeing the children, as well as regulating her telephone contact whilst they are in your care.To prevent her attending to provide clothing, would it not be an idea to purchase some for them yourself instead of relying on her?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The issue with the clothing is it's school gymwear. I could certainly get extra but the day they actually have Gym, the mother picks them up.This would mean I'd need to buy new Gymwear each week.Your advise has been very much appreciated.
Sticky situation. Could you not change the Wednesday to an alternative day in the week?