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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35076
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Clare,I have decided that it it time to split up with

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Hello Clare,I have decided that it it time to split up with my husband we have been together for 18 years and married for 11 years we have 2 boys 14 and 17, he wants me to leave as soon as possible and I said I will need some money and he is asking me for a figure I am hoping we can sort this out between us, what advice can you give me?


Thank you for your question and for asking for me.

Who will the chidlren live with?

How much is the house worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?

What other assets are there and what income do you each have?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
they will live with me Clare, the house is worth £111,000 I am not sure what the outstanding is I think there may be 10 years or so left on it, as that is the only thing I do not pay, there are no other assets, I earned £16,774.94 for the year ending March 2016 I have no idea what my husband earns, I know it is full time and he sometimes works Saturdays and sometimes Sundays

Do you not wish to remain in the Matrimonial Home?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No he has made it quite clear that he wants me to leave, the sooner the better for him. I told him I will need some money to start again and he wants to know a figure and says that he cannot sell the house because his first wife's name is ***** ***** deeds!
He gives me £500.00 per month on top of my earnings I pay the bills (except the mortage) and pay for shopping clothing, bus passes, dinner money etc out of this.

Best guess on the mortgage outstanding?

Where is his first wife - and it is not what he wants - do YOU want to remain in the property?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Sorry for not replying sooner I was taken ill yesterday. I don't know where his first wife is when we sorted out his previous divorce I told him to get her name taken off the deeds he would not do it. No I would rather make a new start somewhere else. The balance Is £35.000 the repayments are £137.71 each month.

How much will a cheaper two bedroom property in the same school area cost to buy?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
£87 to £90,000 I am sorry it is taking me so long to reply I am having to use my work e-mail and then forward to my personal e-mail address I don't know if you could try it. it's***@******.***Thank you

Do you know how much you could raise on a mortgage?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I don't know how I would find out about that sorry.

Are there any other assets - including pensions

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
We both have pensions and savings, my pensions £972.88 for 2015 - 2016 year, savings are about £4,000 now, I don't know how much his is.

The starting point for the division of ALL the assets is 50/50 - but the housing needs of the chidlren until they are 18 are the priority and on that basis you can ask for as much as it will cost you to purchase a two bedroom property in the area - allowing for however much you can raise on a mortgage

You have a claim on half of the total savings - and you may also have a claim on his pension if it is larger than yours

You may also have a claim for spouse maintenance.

You should try and discuss this with your ex using Family mediation

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Many thanks for your information he is expecting me to walk away with nothing he will not be happy about this and I know he will not go to mediation I was only going to ask for £20,000 and hope to rent somewhere thank you so much Clare I am new to this whole situation.
Once again thank you for your help Clare.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I forgot to ask do I have to stay here or can I find somewhere to rent until this is sorted out?

You are entitled to a great deal more than that - don't let him bully you out of it!

You are free to move out if you wish - but you may find it harder to force an early settlement once you leave

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Was hoping to be out by end of May looks like I am here for the long haul then. He told me to think of a figure I am sure he does not have 50/50 in mind though Many thanks Clare.

I am sure you are right

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello Clare, well I gave him the information that you provided me with and he has come back and said that he has been to a solicitor and they have told him that a) he cannot sell the house without his ex-wife because her name is ***** ***** deeds, b) he would have to deduct the balance of the mortgage £38,000 c) if he does sell it he would have to give her half, so he is offering £15,000. I told him I would not be able to start again with such a small amount of money, he also said if anything happened to him I would still have to give her half, this has made me very upset because that is part of my boys future, all she did was put her name on the deeds she did put anything towards it and now he will get half of my boys inheritance. I told him that he needs to come up with quite a bit more, he said that the only other way was to go through the courts and get them to split everything 50/50 which could be messy. As I said before he just wants me to take the £15,000 which I am convinced are his savings and settle for that. He did not even mention the boys!If you could let me know your thoughts on this I would appreciate it.Many thanksMarcia
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare, just wondered if you have an answer to my question on which I sent on the 21st?

It is far from certain that he will have to give his ex wife half - if there was a financial agreement then he will not necessarily need to do so - please please stop letting him bully you.

Tell him that in that case you will ask the Court to allow you to remain in the house without hm until the youngest is 18 and take your share then.

Tell him you will not settle for less than £35,000 (still a little low but worth it to be rid of him)

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Oh Clare,I told him what you advised and I also told him that I had seen a mortgage advisor and that they told me that I would need to come up with at least £53,000 for a deposit because I could only get a mortgage up until my retirement age which is 13 years this is also based on the fact that I only earn just over £16,000 per year, at which point he asked me what did I want him to do, I told him that he would have to find it because I had been advised that I should move into something similar to where I would be coming from and that I need to provide for my boys at which point he said that their home was here where would they be going when I had nowhere to go, I said this is why I was trying to sort everything out before involving them, He called our children and told them that I was the one that wanted to leave and that I had said before Christmas that I loved him and that I would try to sleep with him! I have a daughter from a previous relationship she is 23 she was sick and so distraught, she ran out, he started telling the boys about how I am trying to get money from him he even told them about his ex-wife! this is not something that they ever needed to know to which he replied it is part of him I am so upset about this all this time I have been shielding them from this. because of this if your could advise me as to what I need to do to go through the courts it is quite clear to me now that he wanted me to take the £15,000 and start up on my own. I hope this makes sense as my fingers are flying on the keyboard.RegardsMarcia

You need to make it clear that if he is not able to agree a figure then you will look to remain in the house - without him - until your youngest is 18 and then have the house sold

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have told him all that you said and he is not prepared to budge, it seems to me that I have no option but to go through the courts, so If you could advise me on what procedure I need to take I would be grateful. I am so upset because my daughter has not spoken to me since, he has done this out of spite to make me look like the bad one!RegardsMarcia

Your starting point is to issue divorce proceedings based on his Unreasonable Behaviour.

Once they are underway then you should attend a Mediation Information and Assessment meeting to begin the applictaion for the finances to be dealt with

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I had a look on the above website and have seen some forms that need to be filled in, am I able to start the divorce proceeding my self or do I need to go through a solicitor?

You are fully entitled to deal with the forms yourself - most do!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello Clare,I found out by accident that last Thursday my husband had been to see all my family and told them that I wanted a divorce! I thought about it and decided to do nothing because I have never mentioned divorce to him. He has now come back this evening and told me that he has started divorce proceedings against me. I really need some advice now as to what I need to do please.Regards.Marcia

Wait to receive the petition and deal with it - and arrange the Mediation appointment as soon as possible

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok I shall wait for it.