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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I have a son Oli, he is 5 years old from my previous

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I have a son Oli, he is 5 years old from my previous relation. I have him every weekend from Friday to Sunday. He keep asking me if he could stay with me (i own a 3 bedroom house and i live with my wife and 2 months old Gabriel - Oli's step brother). When ever there is time to go back to mom he is getting really upset. Normaly i would go through family mediation, but ... . i have a good relation with my ex partner cousin, who live with her and he told me that the other cousin (who use to live with them just moved out) and he is about to move out as he can't afford to pay for 3 bedroom house. So there are my questions: what should or can i do when my ex with move out to rent a room with some strangers from the advert ? should i go through mediation regardless ? please help. As i nearly cry every Sunday. Thank You.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:

-To clarify, are you seeking for your son to live with you and have contact with his mother?

-What are your current living arrangements - how many bedrooms and who else lives in the property?

-What is the mother's property and who else live with her?

-What are your working arrangements (can you do the school run etc) and how far is the school from you?

-How long have the current arrangements been going on?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I know he loves her, but I also know she doesn't pay much attention to him
- i live in 3 bedroom house with my wife and 2 months old son
- she live in 3 bedroom house with her cousin
- now when we have a baby ( and my wife has a car) i don't have any problems with taking him to school
- i moved out from my ex when my son was about 1 year and a half old. He is 5 now ... so about 3,5 years
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thing is that soon they will all moved out from that rented property and i don't want my son to live in a rented room with some strangers. Also i want to spend more time with him, as much as he wants with me.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i just don't know if i should go through mediation, or just wait till she will rent something and get in touch with social service. I just want all the best for him.

Thank you for confirming. Firstly, despite what your son says or feels, unfortunately his wishes do not take precedence in cases like this. Children's views usually only get fully considered when they are at least 13 years old.

Given that there is to be a drastic change to their living arrangements, you should be proposing for your son to move in with you, until at least the mother can secure appropriate accommodation.

In the circumstances I would suggest that you initially propose these directly to her and explain the reasons. However, if she does not agree then you will have to make a referral to an independent mediator (you can find local ones here: The mediator will assist you both in reaching an amicable agreement that is in the children's best interests. If she does not agree to mediation or mediation does not help, then you will be able to pursue an application to court under Form C100 together with a £215 court fee to your local family court for a child arrangement order and the court can make a decision regarding the matter. For your information the Court will take into consideration the following when making a decision regarding the application:

1.The wishes and feelings of the child concerned
2. The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
3. The likely effect on the child if circumstances changed as a result of the courts decision
4. The child’s age, sex, backgrounds and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision
5. Any harm the child has suffered or may be at risk of suffering
6. Capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) at meeting the child’s needs
7. The powers available to the court in the given proceedings

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what is she will moved out to rent a room?? my son will be living with some strangers ?? i can't do nothing ??

In that case, if you feel that your son is at risk in any way you should make an urgent application for a Child Arrangement Order (for him to live with you) under form C100 and a £215 court fee to your local family court.

note you have left a negative rating. Please could you confirm what you are not happy about so that I can provide you with all the information you require to resolve this matter.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thats the thing .... what if i will go through mediation (i dont know how long does it take to get an appointment or how many visits we will need) and then she will moved out to someone i don't know. May i take him to my place get in touch with social service and then send that form or i am not allowed to do that and let him live there till i will get some anserw from court ?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i score You 2 stars cuz You just answer on 1st part of my question. Now You are anwering on the 2nd part.

If the matter is urgent (for example she is going to a bedsit next week), you do not need to attend mediation and should consider going to court immediately.

If she is moving out in the next few months for example, then you should refer the matter to a mediator and they usually take a few sessions for you to reach an agreement.

Social services should not be getting involved if you are taking steps to protecting him using legal channels.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
make sense. now You helped me. Thank You.

No worries, hope it goes well. If you are fully satisfied with my assistance please would you consider providing a positive rating.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
just to make sure. even if she will move out (cuz i don't know exactly it will happen). i can't take him. it needs to go through court first ? so he will have to live with her till judge will says different ? right ?

Given that there has been 3.5 years of the current arrangement, it would not be in your interest to go over her head to keep him in your care and it would be best for a judge to make an order that will be enforceable.

Harris and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
right. thank You so much.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i will score You in a sec just want to show my wife what i can or should do. thank You.