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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I have a verbal agreement with my daughters dad that last

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Hi, I have a verbal agreement with my daughters dad that last three months with constant threats of him stopping maintenance till I agree to his demandsbwe then sat down and wrote up a agreement which was due to start today but he didn't bring it when he can for our daughter so it was never signed. I let this fact go and asked a simple question after he gave me dates of when he would miss agreed contact of when else would he be able to have contact which cause an argument over messages. In the end I asked for our daughter to be returned to me when he brought her home he dumped her on the door step and gave her a shove to get her in the door while shouting at me that he would see me in court. Our daughter is 2 he didn't see her till she was 11 months old I have since had another child who I was holding when he was shouting at me today and who he always brings up when he threatens to stop maintenance. What do I do now? From similar arguments we have had before he won't have contact until I back down and let him get his own way. Its not fair on our daughter to miss contact with him but I don't know what to do. Do I go see a solicitor now or wait till I have official documents that state he is taking me to court?

Hi, thank you for your question. Has there been a formal child maintnenace application?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No we have no formal agreement for maintenance

Thanks. Do you know his gross income, how many nights on average your daughter stays overnight with him each week and if ge has any other children in his care?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have no idea on his income. Our daughter was meant to stay over once every other week and no she is his only child he has no other children in his care

Thanks for confirming. Firstly child maintenance should not be used as a factor in contact between your daughter and the father. Child maintenance is his legal obligation and if he does not come to an agreement with you, you are within your right to submit an application to the child maintenance service ( and it is free to submit an application which can be done by phone. They will take your and his details and contact him to assess his income and work out his legal obligation. They will then give you options for how payment can be collected from him.

In relation to the contact arrangements, your daughter has a right to a relationship with him, but if he does not attend contact sessions then no-one can force him. If he attempts to have contact outside agreed times, then you will need to consider whether to pursue a court application for a child arrangement order. You should also be aware that in relation to contact arrangements these are not enforceable unless it is reflected in a court order.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you

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