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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35056
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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My husband has filed. We have been separated 3 and half

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My husband has filed for divorse. We have been separated 3 and half years. We both have solicitors. I am not happy at all with my Solicitor.
Before I left in January, Kirk and I had verbally agreed that I would keep the Tottenham flat and he would get the apartment in Jamaica.
We married in November 1995 in Jamaica and I brought him to London. I already had a flat in Tottenham. I sold that flat and bought the flat and put it in Joint names. I then remortged the Tottenham flat and bought a condo in Jamaica which is also in Joint names.
I suffer with depression, I am 59 years old and now staying with my mum as I cannot afford to live there.
The position now, is Kirk wants his name of the mortgage as he wants to buy a place with his girlfriend. He now also has a baby.
Columbus Heights, was my income but as I have reluctantly agreed for him to have it and I keep the Tottenham Flat.
His Solicitor is drafting a Consent Order but I do not feel comfortable with my Solicior so now I need some guidance.
As he is forcing me to take his name of the Mortgage. A broker has said I will be able to change the mortgage to buy to let or sell it.
He informed me that until the Consent Order is stamped by the Judge, I am not able to sell the property or take out a Buy to Let Mortgage.
I am totally confused about the correct steps I have to take to deal with this matter.
Can you help me please.
Thanks Janet

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

How much are the various assets worth and how much is outstanding on the mortgage?

What income do you each have?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The flat in Tottenham is worth approximately £300,000. There is a mortgage of £30,000 remaining and I also have a bill of £5000 for external major works outstanding.The condo is worth £70,000 approximately, but is in a tourist destination in Jamaica and can make a good rental income.I am not working as I suffer from depression and at the present unable to work due to the stress of this situation.Kirk has a permanent job. Im not sure of his salary but he has been there for many years. His girlfriend also works and they now have a baby.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Clare are you there?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello Clare. I am waiting for your reply. Can you please reply to me. I have paid £36 and you are not replying to my enquiry.

My apologies for the delay. We have to work through our lists in order and sadly each time you comment you drop to the bottom of the list.

Are you able to obtain his release from the mortgage?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Only by taking out a buy to let Mortgage or selling the property
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
U there

Sorry - a short meeting I could not avoid.

What exactly is it that your solicitor is saying that troubles you most?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i want to know how to proceed. We have made a verbal agreement. but he is getti g consent order drawn up by his solicitor. As there r 2 properties involved do we have to do a full financial disclosure or is d81 sufficient. My solicitor has been do slow and he has slready gone into property sin Jamaica snd changed locks. I suspended the account on yhe webdite so now the condo is off line.the property here is to be mine but he wsnts his name off. As im unemployed i can only get a buy to lrt mortgsge. i whst to know whst the procedure is please. can i put it up for sale before the consrnt order is stsmped by judge or do i get mottgage offer now. so confusing. my dolicitor has not been worki g in my interest

Do you wish to move back to your home?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i cannot afford to pay mortgage and my exusting lendor will not tske kurks name off mirtgage

How many bedrooms does it have?

Forget about what he wants - what do you want?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
one bedroom
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i would like to. but even if i took a lodger it eould be difficult for me tobpay all bills
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i slept on sofa for one year

Even if the mortgage remains the same?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He wants his nsme of mortgage. Sobu can't keep same mortgage

Just because it is what he wants does not mean that it is what a court will order.

Your housing needs are important - which is why I am asking what you want!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i would like to go back to my flat but it does t seem possible

If the mortgage stayed the same could you afford to live there?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he left me for ayoung girl and has now had a bsby. i remortgsged thst flat snd bought yhe place in Jamaica. i have agreed for him to tske the Jamaican property although that was whatvi lived on. but i have no choice.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he wants his name of the mirtgage so he can get anither mortgsge
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
if i had a lodger maybe i vould manage
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
look please we sre going around in circles. can u just help me please
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Your ex cannot dictate what the settlement is and I am very concerned that your solicitor has not discussed your housing needs with you

Can you explain exactly what it is that your solicitor has told you as this does not appear to be in your interests at all

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. we have 2 properties. the London flat is worth 300,000 snd the jamaican property is worthbspprox 70,000. as u no noth are in joint names. we have agreed thst i keep the London flat znd he has the prop abrosd. u no the rules of equality so this is whsg we sgreed. i cant afford to ho to go yo court. so even though im depressed and cant afford yo live back home. i have to sell it or remortgage.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
She said its a good deal otgerwise he csn call for both properties yo be dold and take 50 prrcent.

How old is your ex?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
45. I'm 59. He only joined pension 2 yrs ago

Did he actually work while you are together - you appear to have paid for everything which is why I ask

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he worked and he still does. His girlfriend works too. They havd a baby about 9 montbs
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
U r not assisting me at all. Just wasting my time with yr questions. U obviously did not read my initial notes. I have paid 36 and now yr off line
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If u fldont wish or not able to assist me. Refund my money or pass me to someone who can help

I have read all your notes and am still online and still trying to find away around things that allows you to retain and live in your property

You have had a long marriage but it appears clear that all the capital came from you and that you funded your life together.

He is still in his 40's whilst you are nearly 60 and unable to work through illness which may not resolve itself.

The current agreement - while it seems to be generous does not in fact leave you in a position where you can adequately house yourself - nor indeed earn an income to maintain yourself.

I believe that this is an accurate assessment of the current position

Whilst I understand the reasoning behind what your solicitor is doing I believe it is flawed

You will be left with the lions share of the capital - but in a position where you cannot house yourself and will still have no income

If you do not accept the current arrangement then yes you might end up with less capital BUT you would be eligible for ongoing spouse maintenance indefinitely - something I am sure your ex would wish to avoid

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire I havnt had a penny from him at all. He has been threatening me and bullying by texts and voice messages and emails. I just don't no what to do now. I sent him voice messages yesterday asking him to call me an try to communicate. No response


Is this where the pressure to re-mortgage is coming from?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He wsnts his name of mortgage. He don't care how I do this.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Is he willing to be a Guarantor?

What did he do with his money while you were together?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He paid electric, gas, council tax and supposed to buy food. But he only bought minimal. He saved his money. He did put flooring in and got his mate to paint. But everthing else I paid for. I earned more at times but witb his bullying attitude and times of depression I was living off savings and income from Jamaica prop
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Guarantor. I don't think so Claire. He wants his name of mortgage so he can buy a house. Stamp duty will be more if his name remains on current mirtgage

What savings has he got?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I dont no Claire. He's got enougt to buy a house. Tight bas...
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He always had his own account.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Do u think I should do financial disclosure

..tard inteed....

So what financial disclosure has been made so far?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Did your solicitor not think that was a problem?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My solicitor as I previously explained has not been helpful at all. In January. Before i left country I told her our agreement and she did not act. I had to chase her up ehilst i was there. For 3cweeks she didn't reply to my emails and ehen he left me a threatening voice messages ssying he was flying to Jamaica inay and not to take any bookings. She has dragged this out and now he is very impatient. I blame her for not acting for me and delaying whole procesd
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
On my return we met briefly. Financial disclosure. But she did not explain what it was for an that it would benefit me or that it was necessary

There is not helpful and then there is incompetence.

Just because a client comes to you with an "agreement" does not mean that you do not look at it properly

Now please understand that all I know is what is on this thread - and that tells me that this is a complicated case.

I can understand that your ex wishes to be able to purchase another property - that is reasonable - BUT it is also reasonable that you have a home that you can

afford to pay for

You know nothing of his financial position - if he does have savings then these will balance out the capital that he is "forgoing" in the proposed settlement.

Before you do anything I suggest that you speak to the Mortgage company directly and find out on what basis they would agree to release him but keep the mortgage as it is.

If a Guarantor is what is needed then your ex may have to step up and provide that if he wants the settlement to go ahead as it is.

If however you wish to simply keep to the original agreement then it is for his solicitor to produce the Consent Order for your solicitor to approve

You have already got the mortgage sorted in principle so there is nothing else you can do

If your ex continues to harass you then tell him you will call the police if he does not stop

I hope some part of that deals with your concerns - and that you can understand my worries about the agreement you have made

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Oh Claire. U mentioned maintenance. Am I entitled to any from him. He left me in the lurch. I already spoke to my lendor they said coz I'm not working tbey wont take his name off. Oh Claire. I might have to employ another solicitor but I ain't got big miney thsts problem. Can I transfer to another will they write to her.via think I gotta email her and let her no. She's asking for too more. I thought he was paying for it but she already took 550 for nothing. Just incompetent crap
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Another too. Don't no what to do. I no lendor won't help me coz imvunemployed. Do u tjink I should ask for full financial disclosure. I will have to do one too.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Still confused Claire. I no he won't budge. I'm worried now. Really
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The question I orginally asked ;you has still not been answered. The mortgage company will not take his name of the mortgage and I need to prove that I can afford the mortgage. They cannot transfer to Buy to Let but they can keep both names on at the same rate but that is the point he wants his name off.So I am still in the same position as I was yesterday. I agree I am not gaining from this Divorse at all. He is getting the property that I remortgage and have paid all along with all the bills. I am not gaining from his pension as he only just went into into a couple of years ago and savings I dont no.Do you think I should have a full financial disclosure done and try mediation? But he wont agree, I no what a bully and ignorant person he is.Is financial disclosure manditory? Is it benefical to me? I beleive the D81 has to be done at the same time as the Consent Order.Please advise me further please
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have not answered my questions Claire. I would lije u to answer these questions please.

I can understand your confusion.

The first thing to tell your ex is that you will not be remortgaging until the financial side of the divorce has been resolved.

In fact you CAN do it - it would just not be in your interest to do so unless there has been full financial disclosure OR your ex helps you obtain a mortgage that allows you to stay in the property (which a buy to let will not)

Unfortunately I do know that it is very easy for me to say "tell him no" - but much harder to actually do.

However if you can bear it - and remember if you tell him not contact you but he still does you can call the police - then say to him that you cannot remortgage at the moment and release him BUT if he can find a Guarantor for you then you may be able to do so.

In the mean time send him a form E

and tell him that you both need to fill one of these in and exchange them before anything more is done UNLESS he wishes to help you get a re-mortgage at a reasonable rate

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. A remortgage is impossible with my small income unless buy to let. But that don't make sense as I cant live there. Selling is also expensive. He should be helpibg me not destroying me. I hate the fact tgat he is gonba get tgecplace in Jamaica. That was my dream. It is beautiful. It breaks my heart he is takibg everthibg I have worked for. My income my dream plsce and destroying my life.vim do distressed. I saw an example consent order and the hysband is helping g wife pay the mortgage. She is also getting 25 perxent of his pension. I'm not getting nothing but grief.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
How can he help me get a remortgage. I don't understand that. He won't assist me at all. He has not replied to my voice messages from last night. Why should he help me. He obly wants what he wants. He don't care about me at all. He is also sendibg me bills for co do in Jamaica. He bulldozed ibto the place in May. Changed locks.replaced bank account and wentvibto my account. Now they suspended account until tbey get proof who owns place. Do he is sendibg me all bills. I'm not getting nothing money. He's a real nasty cruel bully. So I dobt understand why he would help me get a remortgage
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Guarantor? Claire. Where from. U myst be joking. Who would do that
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire on the form e. It's a real big form. What if he tefusesvto complete it. I have not declared the tax. Or done self assessment yet. Do I have to beforevi complete it gets more confusing and stressful. So stressed out

I know - but he wants his new mortgage more than you need to remortgage

Do not contact him by telephone again.

Always email or snail mail so you can keep a copy.

I will pick this up again tomorrow and we can do a step by step plan if you would like

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok thanks u Claire. Goodnight
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Claire. How r u today. i have been researching all this stuff. Yes my housing needs r really important. I told u that solicitor is crap also very condensending. Along the fact that I csnt work coz I suffer from depression and all this addexed pressure made me so sick and the fact that solicitor added to my stress. So the fact I csnt pay the mirtgage. My illness. My age. His age. Etcetera. Maybe Claire I should go back to flat. Claim housing benefit. The doctors no I'm sick waiting for counselling. I also have diebetes. I wouldume u to assist me making a step by step plan. Would be very grateful
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Their salaries. His savings. His bullying intimading demands. Pushing me into finding g a way to get his name of mirtgage. All of this addexed unnecessary pressure. My God. Surely. I have a good case Claire.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. R u there. Not replied to me today.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. R u on line today. U said u would assist me with a plan. Please get back to me. I think I have to find another solicitor to complete this don't i
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have to decide whether go back to same solicitor or find another. His solicitor prob sent consent order to my old solution. So I'm not in no rush. But I better get my act together. I think the only way is go sell my home. Don't seem to have no choice

Sorry - it has been a rather full day

I am very very glad that you now understand that things are not quite as you have been led to believe.

The only bad news is that I am afraid that you are not able to claim Housing Benefit as such - although you MAY be eligible to receive the mortgage interest payments as part of a DWP claim

Since there has been no financial disclosure you are entitled to reconsider your position.

To save funds at this point write a simple letter to your ex's solicitor saying

" I am no longer instructing my former solicitors.

I realise that I have not yet received any financial disclosure from my former husband, and I understand that I should not go forward unless and until I have received this.

Please let me know when you will be in a position to let me have a Form E. I am preparing mine ready to exchange it.

Please inform your client that if continues to harass me regarding the mortgage I will report the matter to the police. I shall not be taking his calls, or calling him in the future.

The current offer will make me homeless as I cannot get a re-mortgage on the property and accordingly i need to consider the matter carefully"

Once that is sent you will have some time to consider what you want to do next.

You can download a Form E and on a day when you are feeling well look at it - it is frightening at first glance - but when you actually look at it it is just about putting the information together.

At the same time you can start looking at your housing options - one possibility could be equity release - not a great option if you had children - but one which could leave you in your home.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for yr reply. I think I have go email my solicitor telling her I don't wish her to continue acting for me. Will she send me a bill and keep my papers. A bit nervous of her to tell the truth. R u sure I can write directly to his solicitor. I have to find another solicitor to look at the consent order his solicitor has drafted abd amend accordingly. So if i contact his solicitor. Will she think I'm acting for myself. Please advise me Claire. Can I obstruct a new solicitor to contact her. But confused Claire. I do need a solicitor to continue. But as his solicitor drawing up order. Do I have to pay for this too. what is the cost of form E. What if he refuses to complete it. Does his partner have to fill one in too. Coz they r together. Equity release is expensive. I looked into this before. Do u think best option is to put flat on market. Looks that way. Can my sister be a guarantor for me? Sorry for all these questions I jyst wanna get it right. It's my future and I can't afford to cock this up.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
i guess yr busy today claire and its late. thank u for your assistance. you have given me a lot to think about. hopefully u will email me on the questions I hsve asked. sorry gor all these questions Claire.
Chat to u tomirrow.

I fear your original solicitor will indeed send you a bill, but if you pay it she cannot keep the papers.

You are entitled to act for yourself until you decide to instruct another solicitor - and you will not beed to look at the Consent Order until there has been full disclosure

You do not have to pay his costs - and you can do the Form E yourself - I suspect that you are more than capable of dealing with this and that it is only the bullying that is making you feel that you cant!

His partner does not fill in a form E - but he does have to declare her basic financial position

Your sister could be a guarantor - go back to your Mortgage Company and talk to them (not a broker) about what can be done

Equity Release is expensive BUT woudl allow you to remain in your home if that is what you want

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. Coz he instigated th divorse I thought he was paying for it. Not sure why I paid her yup and now wants top pounds.
CLaire. I looked at the form E. I'm really worried now. I have to provide 12 banks statements of both accounts. Coz i was so distraught I have been spending loads if my miney coz I got a private pension at 55vwhen he left me. I couldnt stay here so that's why I rented out my place for the last 18 months. The rental only pays the mortgage coz I have 300 pounds service charges every month on Top of mortgage. I readyezterday if judge feels one partner has been reckless it might go against me.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. Sorry I'm rambling. The priblem I now have the judge gonna see that I have rented out the Tottenham flat and also the Jamaican property. An I have not been doing a self assessment. I no a lot can be offset for repairs etched. He might reprimand me and fine me. Now I scared if this now. Do I really have to Do this bloody disclosure Claire. Can't I jyst do this die firm with basic info. Coz if we have agreed the consent order. Csnt he jyst approve it.vl i guess he needs to see a full picture of bith oyr financed. Can u advise me claire. Sorry. I no im a pain in the backsude. Im sure u wishex u dudnt puck put case.sorry..

No it is good - you are considering all your options to find the one that works best FOR YOU and that is what is important

If the property is sold will you be able to buy a new home?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well. I will have to move far from everyone. Where props r cheap. Coz i will have solicitors fees etc
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
An I wanna keep some back so I can live again

What about Shared Home Ownership schemes

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire . Worried sbout this Form E. Will the judge scrutizse and see I been getting money from prop in Jamaica. Coz i ain't declared tax. Also they want 12 months bank statements. Shall I go for his pension even though he jyst started contributing 2 years ago. I have spent my lump sumvand get 276 per month penson and get dLA 174. That's all I get.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Shared ownership is for first time buyers. It is expensive and u have to pay rent and mirtgage. Remember I have no income.

Actually it is available also to people in your position.

You will not need a mortgage - and you have a pension in payment which will help with the rent

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. The property in Jamaica has been suspended. Coz he just flew to Jamaica chsnged locks and replaced his bank details. I complained. So they suspended account and wanna no who own it. We both do. Now thid is added problem. None of us r getting no money from the place. Which is a was yr. He is sending me bills for the property. He told me not to take bookings ftom may as he was flying there. So I like a fool. Let him do this. I should of continued renting it and stopped in frim barging in. So as he webt in May. Why should I be paying those bills. He also sent me a text message saying thete was a bill for 17000. I think its for electrical pipes but why should i pay it. He sent me another email from management company saying g maintenance was over due and insurance ad he was taking over why should I pay. He ain't paid for nothing dince he walked out 3 sn a half years sgo
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire I'm sorry. Kirk just srnt me anither bill for Jamaica prop. Why should I pay for it Claire. This situation is getting worse. Please get back to me please

Email him back and say that since he wishes to have the property then the bills are his to deal with

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire. I emailed him back. He said his solucitor told him he can't take iver property yet until duvorse went through. But he did. I have no miney since April. I list bookings coz if him. No he's lying saying he went to see property coz I never used money to renovate it. He's lying an trying to pass the buck again. Ooh Claire. Sorry. Not sure about shared ownership. But will check out my options. I appreciate all yr advise and patience. U have put me in the picture. But concerned about form E. Does jydge dig deep into bank statements and scrutinize everything. Worried about taxi. Can u advise me on this before u go. Mych obliged. I'm very grateful to u.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
R u there Claire. I will give you a good rating. U made me realuze my needs are important and not to let him bully me I'm gonna stand up to him and fight my rights.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Claire I guess u r very busy tonight. I appreciate all yr advice and wanna thsnk u for chatting to me this week and supporting me in my time of need.but have teally made me see thstvi have options. I can't belueve that solicitor did not advise me in the rigbt say. It's as if she was not interested into case at all. Thank u once again

I will be back on later tonight !

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Claire. Are you around?Can you tell me how much would it cost approx for me to
instruct another sol to take over my case regarding consent order. and really work in my interests.i gues it depends on their rates.i am gonna consider all options you suggested. i sm very grateful for your help.still wondering about the implications of form E. i guess i will get advise from inland rev about self assessmentkirk has is lying. saying he never vhanged locks. had enough of that man. all tgr mental abuse, bully tactics, agressive and all about him supportkng his new family.anyway. if you some advise for me regarding tax, and this E form let me know. i yhknk selling is best option gor me. wanna vlear mortgage, bills snd move on.You made me aware, thats he wsnts his mortgsge more thsn me. infact im now in no haste to rush. claire what will happen if i dont respond can i vgange my mind say i dont want divorse. will i get a big fee. is it too late. claire.....coz of all this stress hes put me under and his intimadating voice messages, emails snd ferl strobger to stand up yo him now. let him wait. all bills sre mounting up on jsmaica property snd he said im responsible unyil fivorse is fina. whsrs my position on this Claire?

How far has the divorce reached?

Can you now let the Jamaican property?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No. I called the holiday lettings company. They need proof from me tbat I own property. He has title. He stole it ftom felt one day a wben he came to collect styff from garage and starting banging walls. Intimadating me. All bills I paid was by western I union coz he had electric and cable in his names. He was very clever Claire. He knew what he was doing. I thibk it's in both of I terests if advert put back so i could be getting g mobey. But he losts me bookings may, jun e and July August. These r peak time for Jamaica. He has a goid solicitor Claire he reckons his sol Saud I'm respobsible for bills. I reallt need someone to act for me I think
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I only completed that form u fill in to agree to divorse. Nothing else

Do you mean the Acknowledgement of service?

Inform him that you have no funds so unless he returns the title deeds to you then he will have to pay the bills in Jamaica

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
claire. do u think i can email HIS SOLICITOR SAYING THAT
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
r u there

Yes you can - at the same time you tell them that you are acting for yourself

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
claire. u were right. that solitor is gonna send me an invoice. i cant believe it. she didnt give me correct advice. delayed yhe process and reslly notvinterested in my case. can i tell her how i feel sbout her services. Do u think i am fighting a loosing battle.i am gonna write to kirks solucitor with the suggestions u gave me. but i really think we need prop in jsmaica should go back on line. why should i pay thise bills. ridicilous. he wants it. he never osid 1 penny for the boiler ygat had yo be fixed and all bilks,

I think you are right about the property - so write to his solicitors and say so