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James Mather
James Mather,
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1390
Experience:  Senior Partner at Berkson Wallace
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My wife and I have split. I moved out of the family home 2

Customer Question

My wife and I have split. I moved out of the family home 2 1/2 years ago. The split was due to our irreconcilable differences. We have two children aged 10 & 7 who live in the family home. I subsequently met someone 15 months after moving out and my wife then filed for divorce citing adultery as she was advised this was within 2 years of separating. This was more to make my life difficult than any reason for our initial separation. I moved into rented accommodation and have continued to pay the mortgage plus additional household costs although I have no access to the house. My outgoings are in excess of £2k per month towards the house/children. This is on an informal basis as I do not want the mortgage to fall into arrears as previously had paid the money into her account and it had bounced. I seen the children twice a week (mid week) and every other weekend picking them up Saturday morning and dropping home Sunday evening. I work full time and long hours my ex works part time. She has now stopped me seeing the children during the week at all unless I pick them up from school stating it is not convenient and disruptful. I am unable to as I work until at least 5.30pm and work an hour away from the family home. She has now threatened to stop me seeing them at all unless I pick them up from school on a Friday evening and have them until Monday when I drop them to school. With work this is difficult and my accommodation is a single room with no room to have kids....I have managed with help from family but not a stable situation for the children. I have tried mediation to sort out our financials in order for us both to move on but she now refuses. I could then get my own place with room to have children. She is happy for me to take them on holiday two or three times a year as it suits her. I am scared that I will not seen my children at all unless I agree to her (in my opinion) unreasonable demands. on top of that she has refused to give me the passports which I renewed as I am due to take the children away (she has agreed via email). I am at a loss as what to do with her continued unreasonable behaviour.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

What would you like to know about your position

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thanks Clare.
Please confirm:How is best to arrange the final financial settlement as I want a clean break and will require my share of equity from the house (total equity approx. £320k) in order to have my own place in order to see the children properly?;We have been through mediation and pension etc. are about on par so really on the house is the only asset as no savings to speak of. What would I expect as a split of equity? I would be happy for a 50/50 with a deferred payment when children are say 18 (10 years) so day one say 65/35.What should I do to ensure a formal access to the children on agreeable terms considering my working schedule?;How I deal with the retention (theft?) of my and the children's passports being held back from me?;Thanks in advance.Gary
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

How much would a cheaper three bedroom property in the same general area cost to buy and what income do you each have?

What is the actual pattern of contact at the moment?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
A cheaper three bedroom would be about £500k.I earn a basic of £71k (gross) with discretionary bonus (average of £19k over past 3 years).She earns approx. £14k (part time) and claiming income support and child benefit of approx. £7k per annum. She also does child minding but I am unsure what income that provides but prior to working in school earned in region of £50 k per annum and has always wanted to return to the private sector but since our separation has refused as I have paid over £25k (net) per year into the house.I know what my obligations are once I know how often I will want to see the children in respect of child maintenance but until we sort out the equity division neither can move on.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

How much is the current property worth?

What is the actual pattern of contact?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Property worth about £590k. Contact is minimal and not friendly at all. She refuses to communicate.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Sorry - I meant how dod the chidlren actually share their time between you

For clarity what bills are you paying, and you do understand that you may not be able to force an immediate sale of the property?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I currently have them every other weekend as she has refused me to see them during the week unless I pick them up from school. This is not practical for me as I work in town on a full time basis and unable to get to the school by 3.15pm unless I leave work by 2pm. All I really want is a clean break in order to buy my own property so I can spend more time with the children. The arrangement is informal but I may need to seek a court hearing to see them on a formal and pre-agreed basis.
I am at my parents and not practical to have them more often and in fact my mother would refuse as it is her house.
I understand I cant force a sale but she is not in a financial position to maintain the house (unless she gets a full time job) or buy me out.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

How much is the mortgage payment?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I pay £2k per month to cover the mortgage.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Is that actually how much the payment is?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

What are your gross and net figures for income