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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1385
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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The court order gave me fort nightly access but the mother

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The court order gave me fort nightly access but the mother is making things difficult what can I do?


Welcome to Just Answer

I am a Solicitor and will assist you.

I am very sorry to hear that the mother is not complying with the court order.

It sounds like you haven't had a pleasant experience with the family courts previously - but you will have to return matters back to court to seek enforcement of the court order if the mother isn't complying. I know that this isn't what you want to hear but this is what you have to do.

The court do like parents to communicate but if the mother is being aggressive then reverting back to email seems sensible.

You are going to have to refer to mediation before you can go back to enforce the order. Perhaps the mother will see that you are serious to take matters back to court and agree at mediation?

let me know if I can help you further

kind regards


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi I did mediation before but she refused and the court just had a CAFFCAS officer talk to her on the day of the hearing she was nice to them funnily enough! She will not go to mediation even if I pay we even tried that before and she failed to make any contact. The mediator was very good and tried over a month to get hold of her. Luton CC made the order in one afternoon as my barrister was like a mediator but I can't pay all that money again I am married and have a family at home.


The rules are such now that you have to apply to mediation before you can apply to court. If the mother doesnt engage then you can apply to court and the mediator will sign the form that you need.

The court will look less favorably on a mother who isnt complying with a court order that is in place.

You can act in person in court so you dont have to incur legal fees.

As the mother has been aggressive towards you - you could try and get legal aid.

To do this you will need to get domestic violence evidence.

If the mother hasnt been charged with an offence - the best way to get evidence is to go to your GP and explain her behaviour. If your GP is satisfied that you are suffering with a condition such as stress as a result of her behaviour and they fill out this template letter for you - this will count as your DV evidence.

The second part of legal aid depends upon your income - see this link:

kind regards


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If I took out a restraining order to stop the other contact do you think this could help my case in the family court?


A restraining order would count as your domestic violence evidence for legal aid so you wouldn't have to go to your GP.

In respect of enforcing a child arrangement order - this will help you demonstrate that the mother is difficult and help you argue that other arrangements need to be made for communication and handover.

kind Regards


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Well I think that's the way for me to proceed as it is a communication problem which will never be resolved as she uses it to try and control me and my wife. We have just married and she couldn't even leave us in peace on our honeymoon my wife came back very distressed and depressed she even felt that I should give up seeing my daughter in order for us to have a life without this hassle so I need to sort this or I will loose my daughter or my new family which is what the mother wants. Can you advise on how I get a restraining order?


I am a family solicitor so I cant advise in respect of a criminal restraining order.

I can however advise in respect of a non molestation order.

If your ex continues to harass you - you should report matters to the police.

The police may issue a harassment act warning.

If the police take no such action and your ex continues to harass you - you can apply to a family court using form FL401 asking for an order that stops such behaviour.

You will need to provide a statement in support detailing all of the things that have happened and why you need the order.

kind regards


ukfamilysolicitor and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
The police have spoken to her earlier this year but she thinks she is above the law and is doing all this so that if I walk away from my lovely daughter she can tell her Daddy does not want to see you anymore I love my girl. The police said get a restraining order as it is quicker if I do it as they would have to collect so much more evidence to prove the case. Can I claim any costs from her for any further action in the family court if she stops my access again?