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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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Im separated from my ex 3.5 years now....we are getting

Customer Question

im separated from my ex 3.5 years now....we are getting divorced....he is in a financial mess both in his work..he has his own business..and personally..he has asked me to help him out financially and doesn't want to go via a solicitor as he can't afford it...i know i will need to give him money as part of our financial agreement when we divorce and would do this as long as its not seen as a gift from me......i don't know how to respond to him and would appreciate some advice
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:
-How old are you both?
-How long have you been married?
-Do you have any children together, if so their ages and proposed arrangements?
-What assets and pensions do you both have (both sole and joint), together with values?
-What are your respective incomes?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
im 55..hes 48..we were married 21 years have 2 children aged 24 and 20..24 year old is in the army and no longer lives at home...but...i may become special guardian for my 24year olds 4 year old daughter and will know by 19 sept
20 year old still lives at home with me
as far as im aware he has cancelled his pension.....i live in the house we shared and have done since he walked out....maintaining the mortgage and all the bills....
his business is failing so income is poor andi am self employed earning about 30k
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Thanks for confirming and apologies for the delay in responding. You should be aware that arising out of the marriage, you are both entitled to seek financial relief and a settlement arising out of the marriage. ny settlement you reach should be approved by the court in the form of a consent order and it will not be seen as a gift if done in this way.

As part of the divorce you will need to reach a financial settlement, initially this should be attempted through mediation - you can find independent mediators here: If a settlement is agreed this can be submitted to court under a consent order (together with a D81 form outlining your respective financial positions).

If mediation does not progress you should then proceed with an application to court under Form A for financial relief once the divorce petition has been issued.

You will both need to provide each other with full and frank financial and income disclosure, as well as disclosure of your reasonable needs. The Court's starting point is a 50-50 split of all matrimonial assets and ensuring that both your needs are met in relation to both assets and income. For your information the criteria considered by the court in these matters is:

1. The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;
2. The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
3. The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
4. The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
5. Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
6. The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;
7. The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;
8. In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring.

If you have any further questions regarding this please let me know. In the meantime if you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for answering your question without a positive rating. Thank you

Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Hi, this question remains open. If you found my information provided helpful please could you rate my response positively using the stars at the top of this page as I will not be credited for my response without a positive rating.