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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1371
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I am in a female gay marriage, we have a little girl age 2,

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I am in a female gay marriage, we have a little girl age 2, we have a mortgaged property as the family home, the marriage has broken down beyond repair she originally agreed to move out but has now refused to go saying she is happy to divorce but will not move out of the house, which is in negative equity with arrears. The situation is causing my daughter stress as my ex partner is constantly shouting and criticizing both her and I, she is letting me down with childcare when I need to work (she works during the week and I at the weekends) if I make other arrangements like a grandparent taking care of her my ex partner undermines me and makes unreasonable demands life is very difficult and I need to know if its possible to make her leave


Welcome to Just Answer

I am a Solicitor and will assist you.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having.

Please may I ask:

- have you issued at court for a dissolution?

- where you civil partners at the time your daughter's conception treatment?

- what is the long term plan in respect of the property given its current position?

- are there any other assets for both of you including pensions?

Kind Regards


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
haven't asked for a dissolution as not sure what that is
yes we were married at time of conception
I can afford to keep the property going single handed including paying the arrears as I have a payment plan in place and would like to keep it as the family home for my daughter
no pensions or assets on either side
many thanks


Thank you for your response.

A dissolution is the same as a divorce - it is just the name for 'dissolving' the civil partnership.

Just a few more questions:

- has your ex got the means to live elsewhere?

- have you and your ex talked about when your ex will see your daughter?

Kind Regards


Customer: replied 1 year ago.
she works full time as a lorry driver, but I fear she will try to give up work keep the house and take my daughter from me
I would not have a problem with her seeing our daughter at all, we haven't discussed it because she keeps changing her mind about leaving but she knows I wouldn't stop her having access


Thank you for your response. Please accept my apologies for my delay in responding to you.

It is the position of the courts that it is a childs right to have a good relationship with both of their parents and this should prevail unless there are child protection concerns.

I note that you have been the main carer for the child. I want to reassure you that your daughter will not be taken away from you.

You should try and discuss the time that you daughter will spend with both of you and agree a schedule if possible.

If your ex did remove your daughter and deny you a relationship with her, given that you are the main carer, you can apply to court urgently for your daughter to be returned to you should this become necessary.

In respect of the dissolution of your civil partnership - this is a helpful link as to how to start proceedings:

When one person issues proceedings for dissolution then either party can make a claim on respect of the matrimonial finances.

Whilst I note that the only asset is your property and this is in negative equity - the court can still make decisions as to the property and if it should be transferred to you solely.

The first step would be to try family mediation in respect of the house. They will try and help you both agree what should happen with the house. There are lots of family mediation services and there will be one local to you. Just google family mediation in your area and give them a call to get the ball rolling.

If matters cant be agreed at mediation then you can apply at court for a financial order so that they can make the decision.

In the short term - if your partners behaviour continues then you should consider making an application to the family court for an occupation order. This is an order preventing your ex from utilising her right as a joint owner to occupy the property. These are only short term order - say 6 months - but will give you sufficient time to start to deal with the long term matrimonial finances.

If in the short term your ex is aggressive to you/ assaults you then you should consider contacting the police. If the police consider that a crime has occurred then they can put bail conditions in place to prevent your ex returning for a period of time whilst matters are investigated etc

Do let me know if I can help you further

Kind Regards


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Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I've got my paperwork together to file fir dissolution, I've tried talking to my ex partner she now tells me she is happy to proceed with the divorce but under no circumstances will shed move out of the house or permit her band to be taken off the mortgage ir deeds. She intends to stay in the house till our daughter is 18. We have a two bedroom house our daughter has one room and I have the other my ex sleeps on the sofa where she has slept for eight years. I understand we need to live seperate lives, which we do but that sleeping in the sofa doesn't count as a permanent situation so I can't file.. My partner wants me to claim she has moved out deserted me while she still lives here to make it easier, which would be perjury surely, she keeps dictating what ha going to happen and my little girl is picking up in things and becoming distressed


I am sorry to hear about the approach that your ex is taking.

The fact that your ex is still sleeping on your sofa does not stop you from filing for divorce. In fact in is quite normal for couples to continue to live togther whilst divorce is ongoing and the finances are being resolved.

Desertion isnt the truth in your situation. I do consider that unreasonable behaviour is the best option for you. You need to choose 6/7 reasons as to why you can longer remain married - such as 'she dint pay me enough attention' etc.

Let me know if I can hlep you further.

Kind Regards