Thanks for confirming. Given that you have a fairly short marriage, a court will likely add on any periods of cohabitation prior to the marriage which will increase the length of "marriage" to be a fairly medium length marriage. This would enable you both to seek financial relief from the other. Given that you have two young children, and one with a serious disability, the main carer of the children is likely to have the major financial needs and the split of assets will be most likely in their favour. Given the changes to the home for your son, and the little equity in the property, it is unlikely a court will want the home sold and will likely want it to be used for the benefit of the children until they reach a certain age, after which for it to be sold and equity to be split at that time.
Given our high income, if she becomes the main carer she would be entitled to seek child maintenance through the CMS which will be based on your gross salary and how often the children stay overnight with you on average (if you move out). This will vary between £75 to £177 per week depending on how often they stay over (the more they stay the less you pay).
In relation to spousal maintenance this will depend on her reasonable needs and her maximising her income and she would be entitled to claim for any shortfall between this.
Regarding the allegations she is making, it is a risk to you as if she applies to court for a non-molestation order, she can do this without notice if she can demonstrate to the court that you are an immediate risk to her and/or the children and the court can exclude you from the property for at least a temporary period until the matter returns to court for you to answer to the allegations.
Specifically in relation to the finances, you will both need to provide each other with full and frank financial and income disclosure, as well as disclosure of your reasonable needs. The Court's starting point is a 50-50 split of all matrimonial assets and ensuring that both your needs are met in relation to both assets and income. For your information the criteria considered by the court in these matters is:
1. The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;
2. The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
3. The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
4. The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
5. Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
6. The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;
7. The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;
8. In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring.
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