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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I'm going to try and stick to the facts without getting

Customer Question

I'm going to try and stick to the facts without getting emotional as its so very difficult right now, I just feel like running away!!!
I am divorcing my husband for adultery(he had an affair when I was 7 months pregnant) we have 2 children 9 months and 7. I also have a 17 year old from a previous relationship who lives with me. My eldest goes to his dad's 3 nights a week and he has the youngest once a week on a Saturday for 6 hours. We have a joint mortgage and joint loan there is only £50k in equity with an outstanding mortgage of £213k He has since moved on to another relationship and he has moved in with her after 10 weeks. We are about to go to mediation to sort out the finances. I wish to have a mesher order so I can stay in the house however he only wants to pay £400 a month toward everything. My mortgage is £1200, bills is £600 and the childcare is £1200 so £400 isn't enough for me to pay for everything. To rent a house the monthly cost is £1200 also so I'd be no better of renting. I really want to stay in the house as its their home.
He introduced his new girlfriend after 6 weeks despite me saying it was too soon and my eldest is now stating overnight at her house again without my knowledge or consent. He also has changed jobs so is unable to take my son to school on the days he has him midweek so he wants his girlfriend of 10 weeks to now do the school and nursery runs as he can't. I am due back to work in 2 weeks so would like all of this sorted as returning back to work after a years maternity leave is stressful enough without having to deal with all of is.
My first question is does he legally have to pay half the mortgage and half my joint loan even though he is claiming he can't afford to.
If I can't prove I can afford to stay in the house will a court force the sale?
Does the fact now he now lives with his girlfriend and his outgoings halved therefore count towards my maintenance?
Can I stop his new girlfriend playing a part in the child care arrangements as its still a very new relationship?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:
-How old are you both?
-How long have you been married?

-When did you separate?
-Whose name is ***** ***** in?
-What other assets and pensions do you both have (both sole and joint), together with values?
-What are your respective incomes?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am 38 he is 47.We have been together since 2008 but separated over something similar in 2010. We reconciled in 2012 and married in December 2013.We separated in August 2015 and he moved out in April 2016The mortgage is in joint names balance £213kThe loan is just in my name but it was taken out for the deposit for the house. Balance £10kNo pensions to speak off.My income is £40k
His last known income was £60k but was fired for sexual harassment in July. He is claiming his new job is £35kHope that helps.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He has been paying the full mortgage whilst I was on maternity leave but now he is saying he can only afford to pay £400 due to his lower salary in total as part of the financial order I have asked for £725 which covers half the mortgage and half the loan amount.
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Have financial relief proceedings commenced and has he provided his financial disclosure?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No we are due to go to mediation in 2 weeks so I will be privy to his full salary details then but he is saying its £35k
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.


As part of any negotiations and financial relief proceedings you will both need to provide each other full and frank financial disclosure and he will need to demonstrate that he is maximising his income. If he cannot earn more than £35,000 then this is the figure that the court will consider when deciding on your application for financial relief.

As a starting point, on a salary of £35k, his child maintenance liability will be in the region of £77 per week and this is the enforceable amount you can seek through the Child Maintenance Service and no court application is required - only an application to the CMS who will deal with this.

In relation to spousal maintenance to cover your reasonable needs - this will depend on you maximising your income and it would be possible to seek for him to cover any shortfall, but the simply fact is if he cannot afford it, the court will not make such an order and other options will need to be considered such as further dividing the available assets to take into account your needs.

In the event that you remaining in the home, if you cannot afford to maintain the outgoings on the home and he cannot afford to assist, then the court may decide it must be sold and equity divided in equitable shares between you.

His partner's finances can be taken into account as it would be expected that his needs will be lower as they should be sharing outgoings between them.

In relation to the child arrangement issues, it is not appropriate that he has his new partner be involved in the school runs and if you do not consent to overnight stays for welfare reasons, then you can object to this.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok thanks, ***** ***** happens to the mortgage whilst we wait for mediation and any court orders. Does he have to pay me Half?
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Not necessarily - it is usual for the person remaining in the property to meet the outgoings until a final decision is made despite it being a joint mortgage.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Wow ok so I'm really going to lose everything then!
Expert:  Harris replied 1 year ago.

Not necessarily. There has to be a detailed assessment of both your financial positions before either of you, or a court, can make a final decision.