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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34902
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I'm being taken to court by my ex partner we have a 20 month

Customer Question

I'm being taken to court by my ex partner we have a 20 month old and I take our son every Friday to see his father.. His father is paralized from the neck down and is in able to physically look after his son so I am present on every meeting!!
He and his family now are taking me to court as they want access to our son with out me there and my exs family have offered to step in and help look after our son!!
I have concerns as I worry for my son I'll give u the reasons below
His mother hasn't seen our son for 5 months at a time
She's had safe guarding issues previously
She is unstable due to having a mental breakdown hen her son became paralized
She lets her 15 year old daughter smoke weed and cigarettes and buys them form her!!
She's given my son school st the age of 3months when I asked her not to ( I ended up having to take my son him)
There is so many more
She's not very nice to me at times and shows arratic behaviour
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

Are there no other carers who could deal with the contact?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He has carers but are not insured to look after my son!! My ex partner his family are not in my sons life and they are all strangers to him!!Luke my son gets very distressed with the whole of the family and I stay so he is re assured every week!!I have dmsaid time and time again to my ex and his family work with me to build up this bond and when Luke my son is old enough to look after himself I'll step back!!I have also said just while he's so young either keep seeing him with me or in a contact centre ( this is just so I know lukes not left vunerable)
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Could he not employ someone specifically to deal with ocntact?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I can't afford to do that I'm afraid!! My ex is taking me to court on the 3rd October anyway!! Over this!! I just want to know would what I'm offering be enough in the courts eyes to be enough contact!! I also do have a years worth of evidence photography to prove I have tried and asked him and his family to let me know of days they want to see Luke!! But I get no response and also my ex in all of this doesn't ever ask how Luke is or ask about what he's been up to but I can prove I send pictures of his son to him I let him know if he's in well every thing I do I try to invoke my ex but I don't get responses!!I have also texted the mother in law with my number saying to text me if she wants to see Luke but I get nothing
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Right I see!

Is this the first hearing?

Have you spoken to CAFCASS yet?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I've spoken to caffcass and put my views across they have now sent that to the courts!!Do you think I'm being fair?? My ex has also requested to go to mediation which I attended and the out come was I was doing more than enough and to continue wot I was doingBut my ex and his mother want to take it further
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Still just to check - this is the first hearing?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
first hearing
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

What are the safe guarding issues with his mother?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
My ex was living with his mother and step father at the time the mother and step father were drinking in the day and the step father threatened my ex and was in his face ( but bring paralized my ex was in able to defend himself)I was his Carer at this time and was present at this event!! We had to get my ex out of the house ASAP and we went to the police station we all had to make statements!!The step father was arrested but the mother let the step father back in the home leaving my ex in able to enter that property as his mother choose to let the step father home over her own son!!She has also given my son school wen I asked her not to!! I had to take my 3 month old don home away from her as she ignored my requestsShe's known to like a drink and becomes very aggressive and has been towards me!!She also lets her 15 year old daughter smoke and smoke weed and buys it for her!!I have big concerns leaving my son alone with her and the family
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Alcohol not school
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

That correction makes much more sense - but just for clarity - she gave the baby alcohol?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Yeah she had a glass of wine in her hands and was holding Luke my son he kept reaching out to the glass she was dangling in front of him and he kept pulling it towards him and putting his mouth on the glass!! She didn't attempt to take the glass away from him what so ever and that's how he was drinking it I asked her 3x to stop it even her new partner said stop too but she didn't in the end I took Luke away from her and I took him home
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Does the child have contact with any of the other family members any more - other than his father?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
There has always been an open invitation to my ex family to either see Luke Friday's or to text me if they wish to see him other days!! I've never stopped them seeing him but no effort has been made on their part!!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I've been answering all of your questions you have asked me I've paid £36 and I've not got sn answer or have u been of any help to me at all?? Please can you either help me with my enquiy or please could I have a refund
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

My apologies for the delay - we are all working lawyers and i Had an urgent and unexpected Court hearing to attend

You really have done everything that you can and it is clear that you have tried to be fair in difficult circumstances

You have offered contact which is in line with your ex's disability and have clearly worked hard to facilitate it.

With regards ***** ***** mother the reasons for your concern are clear and realistic - and you shoudl focus on the fact that she has shown no desire to build up the kind of relationship with your child that would give you the confidence to agree to the request that are made of you

In terms of what you offer I suggest that you suggest that your ex employs a carer to help; he sees the child with yo: or he finds a Contact Centre able to cope with him and that in the mean time his mother agrees to see your son on a regular basis with you so that she can build a relationship with the child so that contact with her as supervisor can start in the future

This would show that you are flexible - and is unlikely to happen since she will not be willing to make the commitment!

Please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much for your advice I will take this on board and put it forward to the courts
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I hope all goes well