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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35056
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Per a court order my ex and I are selling the family home

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Per a court order my ex and I are selling the family home which includes a plot of land that my ex is trying to get planning permission to sell separately to develop on to maximize assets. We agreed the following in the court order
“The respondent agrees to take the lead in any application for planning permission and the removal of the restrictive covenant in respect of the Plot of Land upon condition that any professional fees and charges, for which the respondent will produce evidence of such changes to include receipted invoices, are shared equally between the parties. The parties further agree that such costs should be capped initially at ₤5,000, and only to extend beyond that sum with the express written agreement of the parties”
I am having problems with my ex in relation to selling the plot of land and hope you can answer these questions:
1) My ex is not asking for permission before coming to our family garden with other parties (architect, planner), but also with the new partner. This frightened our children because there has been no contact by my ex with the children for over 2 years by my ex’s choice when my ex left the family home. Are there any laws that can prevent my ex access without receiving my permission for a date and time first? Are there any laws that will allow permission for only named professionals so that we can forbid the new partner from our family garden?
2) My ex is having the new partner communicate with me about everything having to do with the selling of the plot of land. I do not want to communicate with the new partner, who I find very demanding, threatening and manipulative. I also find it very risky as I have no way of knowing if in fact the new partner is representing my ex, and the new partner has no professional indemnity insurance because they have no qualifications in land development. The new partner is not named in the court order, and was previously denied as a “McKenzie Friend”. Are there any laws that forbid the new partner from contacting me in regard to the court order?
3) My ex is also not sharing any information with me about what tasks are being undertaken, what professionals are being hired, or any cost estimates so that I can have a say in decisions. The court order was not clear about this, but I don’t think that my ex having the lead meant in exclusion of me having input. Are there any laws or precedents about this?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I think I forgot to give an e-mail:***@******.***

Thank you for your question

My name is ***** ***** I shall do my best to help you

1. It is common courtesy for you to be given notice when people are going to come to the house. Sadly you cannot exclude his new partner - but you can make it plain that your ex must attend as well

2. You do not have to deal with his partner at all. There are no laws that forbid it - but you can simply refuse to deal with the new partner on this or any other matter

3. You are correct having the lead does not mean he can exclude you.

You need to write a clear calm letter setting out the new terms and making it clear that you will only go forward on these terms

Please ask if you need further dteails

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your reply Clare.I am a little confused about answer 1. Possibly I did not clarify this well enough. I also want my ex to ask for permission before coming to our family garden by making an appointment with a set date/time. My children have not seen my ex for 2 years, and other than a maintenance payments, has abandoned them. For my ex to show up without making an appointment so that I could be there, but more importantly, prepare my children, was very traumatic for them.The partner of my ex also bullied the children and lied to them about having a court order that they could be there whenever they wanted to, when in fact no such permission was granted. The children requested that they leave the property, which I think they had every right to do. The new partner, who is not a professional architect, planner, etc., in relation to selling the plot of land, has no reason to be there.I have read that this could be considered harassment of a person in their own home under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, and also Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR). Can you comment on that?Also to clarify my original post, I have already written a clear calm letter stating what my terms are. I did not state that I would only go forward on these terms, because I do not know if I have any laws or precedents to back me up. I want to show that I am complying with the court order to see if it is cost effective to sell the plot of land, but I do not want to give up our family rights to a peaceful home and to have my children bullied by the ex or new partner whenever they want to show up.

May I ask how old the children are?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I am most concerned about the youngest who is 16 and the 19 year old, who has had a difficult time since the split at age 16. The others are 22 and 27.

I should have made it clear - "property" includes the garden!

You can write a second letter saying that for the avoidance of doubt if they continue to turn up without notice you will report it to the police as


You can indeed do so since you will have given fair warning.

You are still obeying the Order - and your ex will find himself in difficult if he suggest anything else

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your advice Clare. I think we have enough information to continue. I will be writing another letter to cease and desist to my ex (registered), and if they do not both comply, a cease and desist letter to the partner also (registered).