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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35042
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Customer Question

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

How old is your son and what contact doe she have with his father?

Is there an existing Court Order in place?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
sorry a bit vague. to give more detail.
My son is 5 and has weekly (on a bi weekly time table) contact with his father, he collects on a Friday from school and brings him back on Saturday morning at an agreed time ( he never brings back at agreed time though always a delay never any text to say running late, turns up when he likes) the following week he collects on a Friday and brings back on the sunday.
Today he was supposed to bring him back at 10.30, he text at 10.30 to say was running late and to meet at 11.30 at a retail park at 12.05 I tried to get hold of him to find out where he was by text, at 12.30 I got a text to say could he bring him back at 4pm, I text to say no and called, phone kept on diverting and couldn't get hold of him, I called the police to see what they could do to track my son down, they said nothing can be done without court order.
he then managed to turn phone back on and text to say he'd keep him the night ... no my weekend, all very odd. I then went and got my son from where he is living to find my ex husband hiding in the bathroom off his head on coke
there is no order in place
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I asked my son had daddy been out, he said yes he'd been at a friends party. I asked what son had been doing , he said he'd been sat in daddies tiny bedroom all day. his dad wasn't fit to do anything with him.A similar situation arose the previous week, we (my son, daughter and I) returned from holiday zak hadn't seen his dad for 9 dayss and was excited about seeing him, the arrangement was for him to come and collect on the Friday morning... but he text at 8am that day to say he was trashed and couldn't collect his son for some hours as he needed sleep. I declined him from seeing zak that day on the basis he wasn't fit to drive or look after his son. There have been other instances where he hasn't turned up for pick up due to last minute nights out. My concern is he is not fit to have zak and I can't control what happens when my son is not with me. He has a problem with cocaine and my son can't be around it. How do I stop him from seeing him
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
for info my ex-husband lives at his mothers house (1 hour away from me), and zak and him share the same bed / room when he says ... its been like this for 2 years
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Is there a Court Order in place?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
no court order
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

I assume your ex's parents are useless as any sort of safeguard for your child?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
His mother doesn't speak English (Pakistan) and therefore had limited relationship with me and Zak, and his father works 6/7 days a week so not home till after 7
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

It is clear that you cannot trust your ex to remain in a safe condition to care for your child - or for his parents to protect the child if necessary

That being the case it is reasonable to suggest that contact moves to a Contact Centre,uk

until the issues can be resolved.

You should also offer to discuss matters with him using Family Mediation

If he is not happy with this he will have to discuss it with you in mediation - and then apply to the court if it cannot be resolved.

You can then ask for drug testing!

You can read more here

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
thank you will read .. but how do I stop him being taken by his father at school? in the short term .... right now he could just take him
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Is it likely that he would do so?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he will say I have no right to stop him, and ignore what I've said about no contact, and laugh in my face if there
Expert:  Clare replied 1 year ago.

Then you can make an urgent applictaion for a Prohibited Steps order to prevent him removing the child from school or from your care

This is done using a Form C100

and paying the fee of £215