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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35073
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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I have never been married to my sons dad, had my son before

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I have never been married to my sons dad, had my son before Dec 03 so his dad does not have parental responsibility. My son is 13 years old and doesn't want to visit his dad on this occasion, and his dad has told him he is picking up regardless whether he wants to or not. Do I have to force my son to go if he really doesn't want to?

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further informtaion first

Is there a Court Order regarding Contact?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
There are no court orders in place, everything regarding financial maintainace support and visiting has always been arranged and discuss just between us even though that it self isn't not a regular or consistent thing
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
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The simple answer is that no you do not have to force your child to attend and his father has no right to have him in his care without your express agreement

If your ex applies to court for a Child Arrangement Order setting out the time the child spends with him then the wishes of your son will be an important part of what the court decides

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
No I was not aware, and thank you.
I just know if I tell him he does not want to go and I'm not going to force him, he will kick off with me about it. And to be invest I am a bit itimitdated by him in regards ***** ***** try g to either guilt my son into going or trying to take him off me. My son did not want to spend Xmas with him (he has never gone with him for Xmas) so I told his dad that and I got so much Agro and anger over the phone from him and to be Honest that was the last time I spoke to him.

He does not have to spend christmas with his father and the court will not force him to do so

In addition all you have to say is that if he is not happy then he must arrange for the matter to be discussed at Family mediation - using a mediator trained to work with children.

Then keep saying it whenever he kicks off

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
If he does not have parental responsibility at the moment can he go to court and accquire it and will it automatically be granted? I'm just worried about the reprocusions from this
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hi Clare, I spoke to my sons dad explaining he didn't want to come down to him this weekend and it did kick off a little, we were rather calm but he was speaking to me more like he had a fall out with a friend and not his son. He upset my son to the point that my son he didn't want to talk to him. So I told my son if that's how you feel then just tell him that so he did. His dad said that he was breaking his heart and that he should love him and wants to see as much as he does me etc and things like that, really made him feel guilty. When I confronted him about what he had been saying to my son and made the point to him that's it's not appropriate to speak like that to a child he didn't seem to understand what I saying and just kept saying " I can't win either way with him coz he doesn't like me talking to him so I just won't bother anymore and I will let him get on with it" when I was having this discussion with him, i then said all arrangements should be done through me first and not through my son as he is only a child and cannot make des ions in regards ***** ***** he can go away the weekend etc. And he needs to ask me first so I can confirm if my son is free and can go, then once he has my confirmation he can ask my son if he wants to go. He then replied " what so I haven't got the right to ask my son if he wants to see me?" And I said no I'm not saying that I'm just saying to arrange things through me first. Then I could here that my voice became echoing and I could tell he either had me on hands free so his girlfriend could hear what I was saying or he was recording me. Is this ok if he was and if we went to court could he use this against me? I am now a bit concerned whether I have done the right thing.

You have done exactly the right thing - even if houses it all it will show is that you are being adult and fait.

I suggest that you write and suggest mediation using a mediator trained to work with children to discuss new arrangements