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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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I recently found out I was pregnant after my boyfriend left

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I recently found out I was pregnant after my boyfriend left me suddenly with no explanation. After a few days, I built up the courage to tell him I was pregnant as I thought it would only be fair he knows he would be a father.
Ever since I told him, he has relentlessly tried to persuade me to not have the baby. He said I would not be a capable mother as I had no money and the child would suffer. He claimed it would be unethical and selfish to bring a child into this world at this time. He also said his mother is his dependant and making him responsible for a child would negatively impact his mother's care.
I strongly refused to abort the baby and said i have a right to decide if to keep the child or not as it is my body. As a result, he's threatened me with all sorts of legal actions if I go ahead and have the child.
He has left me so scared, I can't eat or sleep. I should be looking forward to my delivery date but instead I am terrified of what would happen afterwards.
I am African and he is British and he said he would not let the child have any thing to do with my family if I stubbornly decide to have the baby. He's said even if I am not from the UK, I won't take his child outside the country and his child must be an atheist like him.
He carefully and smartly did not expressly use the words "abort the child", but he relentlessly emails me and phones me about how selfish it would be to have the baby.
He also recently told me he is been investigated for tax fraud and is liable to pay over a quarter of a million pounds which he can't obviously afford and so he won't be able to support the child. He has messed with my head and I am so scared he would take the baby from me since he claims he has better grounds for custody since he is British. I begged him to let me be as I was have been very ill due to the demands of pregnancy and he told me he would not contact me again but to expect legal battles in the future. I am scared and depressed as a result of this.
Please help me.
Ps: I am a legal resident here in the UK and I work full time.

Hi, thank you for your question. Firstly, whether you have the baby or not is your decision and if he wishes to be involved in the child's life the child has a right to such a relationship but you will have a right to reasonably refuse if there are child protection or welfare concerns.

Given that he appears to be intimidating and harassing you, if he tries to contact you again you should first contact the police and thereafter consider whether you require an injunction to prevent him from contacting you again - this can be done using form FL401 to your local family court and if he breaches this injunction he will be liable to be arrested.

If he attempts to seek custody of the child, this is not an automatic right for him and a court will need to make a decision based on the full facts of both your circumstances and what is in the child's best interests - bit based solely on the information you have provided, if his mother is his dependant he may find it hard to convince a court that he is also able to solely care for a child.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you

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