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Harris, Family Law Expert
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 2851
Experience:  Family Law - Specialist in Divorce, Financial Relief and Children Matters
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My husband is having an affair and cannot / will not end it

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My husband is having an affair and cannot / will not end it with this other woman. He says he does not want to leave the family home but will not stop seeing her. He has told me he wants both of us and that I cannot force him to leave. Where do I stand legally I do not want to share my husband as she has dictated to him that as her requirement of "allowing him ". To stay in our house he does not have a sexual relationship with me. He meets her in a field behind our house for sex most nights while walking the dogs. He then returns home. I have asked him to leave and move in with this other woman but he will not. What can I do? If I leave with my youngest daughter who is 14 will I be giving up any rights?

Hi, thank you for your question. Just a bit more information required to fully assist you:
-How old are you both?
-How long have you been married?
-How many children do you have together, if so how old are they?

-What is the value of the property, and what is the outstanding mortgage?
-Whose name is ***** ***** in?
-What other assets and pensions do you both have (both sole and joint), together with values?
-What are your respective incomes?

-Do you agree the marriage has broke down irretrievably?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'm 49 my husband is 53 we have been married for 24 years. We have three children 22 years 20 years and 14 years of age, our property will be worth in the region of 150 000 perhaps more we have 7 years left on the mortgage and owe just less than £40 000. It is in joint names although it comes out of my bank account. We have independent pensions mine is a teachers pension and will give me about £20 000 a year. We have 2 cars I do not know how much my husbands pension is worth (except that it is less than mine). I earn £40 000 per year and my husband earns around £30 000. I would still like to save the marriage but need information if he decides to leave

Thanks for confirming. The first thing to know is that if you move out you may practically find it harder to move back in as he may be obstructive and prevent you in doing so. Nonetheless this does not reduce your rights to the property as you have a legal interest in it and therefore will be allowed to return unless there is a court order in place excluding you from the property.

If you do decide to pursue a divorce, based on the information you have provided you would have good prospects to apply and succeed in obtaining a divorce under unreasonable behaviour and you do not require his consent for this.

If you do decide to pursue a divorce you will need to consider a financial settlement. You will both need to provide each other with full and frank financial and income disclosure, as well as disclosure of your reasonable needs. The Court's starting point is a 50-50 split of all matrimonial assets and ensuring that both your needs are met in relation to both assets and income. Given the long marriage and one child likely to remain in your care, you have good argument to seek more than an equal share of matrimonial assets. For your information the criteria considered by the court in these matters is:

1. The income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future, including in the case of earning capacity any increase in that capacity which it would in the opinion of the court be reasonable to expect a party to the marriage to take steps to acquire;
2. The financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
3. The standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
4. The age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
5. Any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
6. The contributions which each of the parties has made or is likely in the foreseeable future to make to the welfare of the family, including any contribution by looking after the home or caring for the family;
7. The conduct of each of the parties, if that conduct is such that it would in the opinion of the court be inequitable to disregard it;
8. In the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to each of the parties to the marriage of any benefit which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage, that party will lose the chance of acquiring.

I hope this assists you. If you found this information helpful please provide a positive rating using the stars at the top of this page. I will not be credited for your question without a positive rating. Thank you

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