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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1487
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I'm in a trouble needing your urgent help/advice. I'm a full

Customer Question

Dear Sir/ Madam, I'm in a trouble needing your urgent help/advice. I'm a full time mum- has been for the past 3 years now with a toddler we had with my partner in January 2015. Unfortunately I'm from a different country (Europe), my partner is British. Recently our relationship has seen a few significant troubles with different views on both sides which resulted in a bigger misunderstanding and arguments than I'd expected and raised the possibility of separation. I have been due to return to work for a time but because of a difficult family bereavement and other personal problems it was postponed. Hence I used to be a locum doctor in NHS my position required flexibilities in view of where and when I worked but most of the time apart from home. On the other hand in my original home country I could have been and could be with/around my children while holding a permanent post in healthcare so I raised this option to consider in a conversation with my partner. Unfortunately my partner just announced that today he sought and filed for full custody today and made it clear that I wouldn't be able to do anything or travel with our child anywhere without his legal permission. (Our child has a Hungarian passport and birth certificate.) This came out of the blue and now I'm completely stunned hence his step making was completely outweighed and made me feel like being stabbed in the back. I've been left with a legal threat when I don't have the ability to act on anything hence I'm out of work and earned no money since looking after our child and my children from a previous marriage. I think it's also worth mentioning that my partner has become instable in his mental capacities yet he was treated with high dose of antidepressants in past for nearly 20 years and came off these medications for about 2 years. Could you kindly advise what options do I have? Many thanks: Dr.Gabriella Sas
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Family Law
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Since my initial enquiry it has also been revealed that my partner involved both of my older children in matters going on between us. He hinted bits but they had no idea (alongside with me) what he was getting prepared for. This morning my other younger daughter said that he had said so many bad things on me over the summer when I had to be away for months in my home country that she cried every day. And he was certainly verbally abusive on her shouting his anger out. She said she cried everyday and had to ask her best friend at school to give her a hug for comfort. This morning my partner said when taking the older kids to school that he would take our little daughter too eventhough he had to take the dog to the veterinary as he was advised in this way not to leave the little daughter with me for any time. (Literally said he "can only know and be assured she is here - with him - if he does so.) He even hid her passport (I checked). He seems to want to control everything and this behaviour poses threats on me and my kids.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Is it likely I get an answer as promised within 24 hours?
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 7 months ago.


Welcome to Just Answer

I am a Solicitor and will assist you.

Please may I ask:

- have you received any court papers?

- has the father made any referrals to mediation?

- how old is the child you have together? where was that child born?

- how old are your other children? where is their fater located?

kind regards


Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Good afternoon Caroline,
As far as I know (some details he's shared) he contacted a law firm in Ipswich whom he used for his will making in past (called Christ Church) They were told to act on behalf of him and they sent papers to court to request full custody over our little girl with a scope for mediation process to follow - apparently the court will explain in a letter I should get soon. He launched this process under the jurisdiction of English law - achieved that the girl can't even be taken out for a walk from home (the actual 4 walls) if he doesn't agree with that and officers can come after me. He didn't do any opening for a discussion or negotiation claiming that I bluntly threatened him to take our girl back to Hungary which would be against his wish and therefore left no other choice for him than act in this way. The truth is that this option was brought up in a discussion when working through what could happen in the event of a possible separation hence my job as a medical locum would involve days away from family within the NHS in UK when the contrary I could potentially go back to my home country and find a more substantial role and be able to manage professional life along with my personal one hence the different circumstances there.
So the answers accordingly:
- not yet on court papers but probably will come in soon
- it looks like they suggested him to do so therefore if he said the truth then yes
- the little girl is turning 3 in January - she was born in Hungary on 27/1/2015 having a Hungarian birth certificate
- other childrens age:
21 - daughter at Southampton University
17 - son living in same household - their father (first marriage of mine) is in Hungary as we divorced in 2006
10 - daughter (second marriage) her father is also Hungarian but living in UK and visiting his daughter on a weekly basis - she also lives with me/us in same household
3- our daughter with my current British partnerA friend of mine suggested to contact women's aid as she believes that there's a case for potential abuse in this matter. I did their questionnaire and out of the 18 questions I had to answer 'yes' on most than 50%.I hope my answer enables yoy to point me into the right ditection as soon as possible as I feel threatened and restricted.Many thanks
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 7 months ago.


Thank you for your response.

Please do accept my apoligies for my delay in responding to you.

I think that your husband may be telling you a lot or mistruths.

You should have heard from mediation as this is a prerequisite before he can apply to court. This has to be done before a court will accept the case unless the matter was urgent. Thus if you were not planning to move imminently (which could be considered as urgent) then you would need to hear from mediaton first.

Mediation is independant and there are no solicitors involved. They will try and reach agreement between you without the need for court. In reality if it is your intention to relocate to your home country then you are going to need the fathers permission or in the alternative a court order so you are going to have to go to court if matters cant be agreed.

Unless your partner has already obtained a court order to say that you cannot remove your daughter from the house (which is a somewhat unusual order in itself if there are no concerns about your care) and you would have received such an order then you are not going to be arrested if you take your daughter out of the house.

It is the position of the courts that children are entitled to a really good reationship with both of their parents and this should prevail as long as there are no child protection reasons why this cannot happen. If you have always been the main carer for your child then the court will want to keep this consistency and it is unlikely that your partner would be granted sole custody.

You can try mediation yourself and also make an application to court yourself if your partner doesnt actually do so and matters cant be agreed as to when your child should spend time with both of you.

Be aware that even if your partner does make an application to court he can ask for an order that your daughter lives with hi but this does not mean that a court will agree with him. You can raise your concerns to the court about the fathers behaviour and his mental health issues and the court can investigate these to see if there are concerns of a child protection nature.

I have to tell you that you cannot leave the country with your daughter without the fathers permission. If you did so then you could be charged with child abduction and if found guilty the offence carries a prison sentence. If you do want to relocate you can ask the court for permission but I have to tell you that this is not an easy application to make and the court would want to be satisfied that the move would be in your childs best interests and the relationship with the father can be promoted. This would not be an easy case for you given the current case law.

Let me know if I can assist you further

kind regards


Please kindly remember to rate positively by using the stars so that credit is received for helping you today

Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Good evening Caroline,Your response raised quite a few questions on my side.
It seems that I've been grossly misinformed by my partner then.
As there is no court order in place yet - even he has started the process for it - does he really have the right to restrict me taking our little daughter anywhere without his permission even out of the house? I do and did understand that I can't take her out of the country which I hadn't even planned. But this is beyond my understanding how someone can do such a thing when the other person haven't done anything wrong or forming any ground for such an action?
Unfortunately the police visited us after an argument taken place tonight and there were threats posed on me by him that he would leave with Abigail (apparently that's what he is fixated on by repeating himself he has custody over her and he was advised not to leave his daughter with me if he went out). Also physical contact (grabbing my wrist) waa involved from his side. Then police asked him to leave for tonight so we can get settled with the kids when he proposed that he would leave only if police took our daughter's passport and identification card to lock up until custody is decided. I said no as this is my only reassurance he doesn't take Abigsil with himself as he had shown he was ready to walk out the door with her. Finally police intervened successfully and he left for the night. He has become so rapidly unstable mentally that I started to be fearful of him. I can't understand how he could do all these things in a week's time and not coming to any common senses or trying to negotiate. What do I need to do to protect my children and get a legal standing point he is not victimizing me by every action of his? Unfortunately I don't have any financial basis at the moment to hire someone straight away hence being out of work for 3 years since becoming a full-time mum but I feel I need to act urgently. Can you please kindly outline my options? Many thanks
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 7 months ago.


Thank you for your response.

You are right - there are no restrictions now. If the court had had a hearing without you present, ay because your partner had aid there were concerns of a child protection nature in relation to you, then you would have still been provided with a court order and you havent been.

If he keeps threatening to leave with your daughter and you are genuinely concerned that he will do this, given that you have always been her main carer and you have concerns about this mental health then you really should be considering applying for a prohibited steps order .

You can make usch an application without legal representation. This is actually quie common now given the cut backs in legal aid.

Complete this form:

Asking for a prohibited steps order - to prevent him from removing your daughter. Also ask for a Child Arrangements Order for your daughter to live with you and decide what time is safe for her to spend with her father.

Tick the exemption from mediation on the basis of urgency.

Detail the threats that he made to remove today and all the other times he has said this and how you believe he will and the concerns you have about his mental health and how the police have had to become involved.

Call your local family court on Monday and tell them you have an urgent case and want to be heard by a Judge asap.

There is a court fee of £215 but you may be eligible for a reduction or remission given your financial means.

You need to act quickly so that you dont lose the urgency in relation to the threats he has made to remove your daughter.

The court may give you an order on the basis of your application and hearing you alone first (ex parte) or arrange a hearing for you both to attend in a few days. Either way the court will want to maintain the consistency for your daughter of you being the main carer if that has always been the position.

let me know if I can assist further

kind regards


Positive feedback is gratefully received

Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 7 months ago.


I note that this question remains unrated. Your feedback is important to me.

If I can assist you further or clarify anything for you then please do not hesitate to ask.

kindest regards


Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Good afternoon Caroline,
Sorry for not being in touch earlier.
As anticipated more unpleasant surprises turned into my original matter.
I received a letter today - my partner's application under section 8 of the Children Act 1989 for child arrangements, prohibited steps, specific issue order or to vary or discharge or ask permission to make a section 8 order. The legal case/hearing is being held tomorrow -under less than 24 hours notice on my side.Since last Friday and the police visit I tried to open conversations with my partner as to try to negotiate about this measure and legal proceeding he launched on me and it seemed that we've agreed to that he had done his move on the matter prematurely as he'd perceived things as threats during any arguments in past coupke of weeks and therefore even his given statement was written incorrectly with a number of twisted 'facts' but not true reflection of the situation.We agreed that he would contact his solicitor on Monday and withdraw the case via them. Once I read his statement which I have now as a hard copy in my hands I was out of words and said to him that 'putting it right' means he had to correct those malicious and unfair faulty statements - hence they are not true plus I don't want them stay on records as they are strongly against me if anything happened later.He (I believe) liaised with his solicitor and said he was making a new statement and ask his solicitor to submit all of that (including a short agreement form that we both agree not to take Abigail oir daughter out of the country or anywhere without the agreement of the other party as well as trying to make joint custodial decisions over her in future).
I was convinced that there was a way not to attend the court tomorrow (as unfortunately I had a very long divorce in my home country from my husband in past leaving me and our children emotionally suffered for long).Now my partner came home from school run and said that his solicitor instructed him and also suggesting me to attend court tomorrow hence there is a new child regulation put in place since past 5 days so we have to attend regardless. He is saying that he will read out the new statement in front of court and asking the judge to consider that tomorrow to have this case struck out or closed.Sadly I feel that - due to previous experience with him - I can't fully trust him.
How things stand: he made a move which is based upon a lot of faulty engineered facts trying to pose him in favour for custody in front of court. He has a solicitor he can instruct and a solicitor who allegedly didn't know anything about the new regulations 2 days ago when they've been in action for the past 5 days. The hearing is tomorrow of which I don't know anything about how it will be conducted I have no representative and/or legal person I could ask - apart from you. And my trust is broken feeling that if I don't tell my side to the judge I might not be able to stand the same way for full custody later as witholding significant issues (like my partner's mental state, his enourmous debt causing extreme stress and lability in his feelings which he just revealed over last weekend etc). So I should ask for full custody when I would have been willing to consider joint custody but inview of all above it would make no more sense yet a full proceeding will lead to no turn back in this family's integrity.My questions are:
1.Do you know what is this new regulation taken place 5 days ago?
2.Is he telling me the truth he had no other option to tesolve this matter before papers came through?
3.can court give so short notice (via only regular post) not even 'signed up for' letter less than 24 hours?
4.Do I have the right to say They should reschedule the hearing especially for the reason that my other daughter has been out of school for 3 days due to being very ill and I can't organize supervision for her?
5.Is the court process gonna involve us being lostened to separately or jointly?
6.Should I try to withold further details which might change everything on the whole scope believing that he is correcting his mistake or rather share everything which might lead to him losing his custody if judge decides to look into those serious matters?Can you kindly please respond asap?Many thanks: Gabriella
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Good morning,
I don' t seem to have an answer on my last question. It said in a feedback email that my correspondence had been truncated.Is there any intention to answer my question or not especially that I need to leave for court in about an hour?Please kindly respond.Many thanks
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
The initial matter was picked up within half a day (instead of only a couple of hours). Unfortunately the actual useful guidance/response I had waited for was given only on the second day. Questions were left open after that even promting for response had been done and no more communication has been received. All despite I signed up for an ongoing service with 7-day trial phase. I think it's fair to say that I agree with the one off payment of 36£ for the information given but I don't wish to stay signed up on this service with a monthly fee involved. In conclusion the trial phase is over without my satisfaction (due to expire tomorrow anyhow). Quite disappointed as this was/is not I've expected after reading those positive recommendations on the service.
Expert:  ukfamilysolicitor replied 7 months ago.


I am sorry that you are not happy with the service. Experts are usually full time employed and I also have a young family. I do normally try and respond within 24 hours.

I am sorry but I do not have any administrative functions in relation to any payment you might have made. When you leave negative feedback the experts are not credited. Customer service will be more than happy to assist you in relation to this. Please give them a call on freephone 0***-***-****

kindest regards