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Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 35065
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Im getting a divorce. I have a 16 month old daughter.

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Hi. Im getting a divorce. I have a 16 month old daughter. Mediation starts tomorrow. No other dependents. Im asking for 50 50 contact other than I have to work, so every other weekend, every midweek night reasonably us other nights for bath and bed as we currently do, but will have to be at my daughters mothers place.
I earn 35k, but could be increasing to 48k imminently.
If it goes to t
he courts which it probably will, how much are they likely to stipulate I pay?Need the answer for mediation.Any help appreciated. Many thanksAndy

Thank you for your question

My name is Clare

I shall do my best to help you but I need some further information first

Do you both work full time?

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
No I work full time, she doesnt work. But has a flat worth 850k that she gets 2k/month income from. I dont own a property

How often have you had the care of the child alone overnight?

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
I have had advice on what I might get re time with her. I just need a number to play with at mediation tomorrow. 250gbp per month?

So far as child maintenance is concerned the amount payable is set by the Child Maintenance Service - and it is 12% of your gross income - with a deduction for regular overnight contact.


It is not reasonable - nor good for the child - to expect to have contact in your ex's home.

Equally, since you have not had the sole care of your child overnight before now it is not reasonable that you expect to have her for weekends straight away - it has to grow at the pace of the child not the adults.

So £350 per (£480 when your income goes up) - reducing once you have worked up to having overnight contact with the child.

You can find the exact calculator here

I hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further details

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Ok thankyou. If I could prolong the conversation a little further. So what is "reasonable" to ask for at first and who decides how long it takes to work up to weekends etc. Is 1 night a week.reasonable at first? In which case a saturday night so I get all day saturday and sunday with her? What about during the week? Surely its not in the childs best interests to only see her father ...I dont know.. what are we saying here is reasobable for a child to see her father?
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Can I presume you have now discontinued this,conversation?

It is not about what is reasonable for a "child to see her father" - it is about building at the pace of a toddler.

You have said that you have never had her on your own overnight - so start with all day on a saturday or sunday once a week - plus one or two tea times if you live close enough for that to be viable.

Then after a few weeks make it Saturday to sunday alternate weeks - plus a night in the week - then increase to friday to sunday - plus a night in the week and (eventually) half of all school holidays.

When she is older two nights a week could also work!

The key is to show that you will build it up - not just jump in!

Clare and other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
Hi. Can I ask for further sdvice? mediation. Waste of time. She said no overnights until lexi was 3. Allowing visits as follows..
Tues and thurs 4.15-5.30 on my own. 5.30- 7.30 at hers for me to do dinner bath and bed. She goes out but her mother stays in the house to supervise which distracts lexi.
Sunday 1200-3.15Ive completed c100 form. Is there anything else I can do?
Thankyou for advice
Customer: replied 4 months ago.
If I bring her back late on sunday will it go against me in court later or can.I do it because theres no court agreement to date and therefore she cant stop it?

Try not to break the agreement - it just gives her ammunition to use

You are right - that is not enough - and you need to make the application as soon as possible