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ukfamilysolicitor, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1431
Experience:  Divorce, Finances, Children, Domestic Violence, Care Proceedings
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I am a father of 2 lovely daughters I am divorced and have

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I am a father of 2 lovely daughters I am divorced and have been separated since 2007 and divorced since about 2011 in that time I have been able to see my children on a 4on 4 off basses. However my x partner has never acknowledged this when I was divorced I had shared care. unfortunately my x partner contacted the csa and instructed them I had not paid anything even when I was paying the bills and mortgage for her, this incurred a large back payment of thousands with one week to pay or it would increase by 20%.I borrowed the money and paid, she lied to the CSA and said I only had the children one night a week this has never been the case. when challenged she increased it to two nights a week. I was then re assessed and charged accordingly. As I stated earlier I had them on my days off however this is not relevant as she would not acknowledge it to the CSA .
Well things have now changed and my now fifteen year old daughter wants to stay with me a week at a time and my younger daughter also wants too. I have not initiated this with them it was mentioned by my eldest who is doing well at school and it would be easier for her with her books etc , so what happens now Eleanor the eldest wanted to change on a Sunday but her mother said no a Monday would suit her better so since October we have been doing this but true to form my x partner is not acknowledging the change. so I pay her to have the children and I have them how is that fair what would you suggest to get this to a fair conclusion, taking into consideration we have been to mediation where the mediator gave me a letter saying the relationship was not workable as my x was not being reasonable. Money is an issue to me as I'm working just hard enough not to get any help financially whats my best way forward?


Welcome to Just Answer

I am a Solicitor and will assist you.

I am very sorry to hear how the mother is treating you.

If you are currently caring for the children on a shared care basis, then under the Child Maintenance Service Rules were there is a genuine shared care arrangement in place then maintenance is not payable.

In your circumstances you should consider applying for a Child Arrangements Order to set out the time that the childrenw will spend with both of you. Obtaining such an order will also give then CMS the evidence that they need that there is a true shared care arrangement in place.

You do have to refer to mediation before you can apply to court. This is a prerequisite. I note that you have attended mediation before - if this was within the last 4 months then ask the mediator to sign the C100 Form for you so that you can apply to court. It was longer than 4 months ago then you will have to attempt mediation again. If it was just a bit longer than 4 months ago try speaking to the mediator as they may well remember how difficult the mother was and sign the c100 form for you.

Once completed send the C100 Form to your local family court detailing that you seek a child arrangements order. Set out the difficulties you have experienced in the past with the mother and also how your daughter wants this arrangement.

There is a court fee for this type of application of £215 payable when you send your application to the court.

The court will make an order based upin what is in your childrens best interests. The court will give high regard to your eldest daughters wishes and feelings given her age.

Do let me know if I can assist you further

kind regards


Please kindly remember to rate positively by using the stars so that credit is received for helping you today

Hello I hope that you are well. I note that this question remains unrated. Your feedback is important to me. Please do kindly rate my answer by clicking on the stars. If I can help any further please do not hesitate to ask. Your question will remain open and I can answer your follow up questons for free for you. kindest regards Caroline
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