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Ask Clare Your Own Question
Clare, Family Solicitor
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 34895
Experience:  I have been a solicitor in High Street Practise since 1985 and have specialised in Family Law for the last 10 years
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Dear Clare, For months I have been expressing my very deep

Customer Question

Dear Clare,For months I have been expressing my very deep concerns to her father about the risk our daughter was being put in at a certain riding school by him. Directly and via a solicitor I had to appoint, I sent him links to information that explained how dangerous the practices at this school were and sent him contact numbers, such as the British Horse Society, where he could find out for himself that our daughter would be put at unnecessary risk at that place. Father has ignored my concerns, preferring to perceive them as my interference in his contact time. His solicitor requested that I visit the riding school to allay my concerns, so I did, and reported back even further concerns, which again father was unable or unwilling to understand were just a genuine, informed, (I have horse riding experience, he doesn't) attempt to protect my daughter from significant risk of injury. To resolve the matter, father asked me to obtain an expert's report on the practices of the school and asked that I prove that they were considered unreasonable within the industry - otherwise he would continue to take our daughter there. (Bizzare, I know) Anyway, I have obtained a report by, one of the country's most respected equine advisors, who answered all my questions for no fee and came down like a ton of bricks on the school, supporting everything I have been saying for months including that the school was failing in its duty of care to the children there and that the practices my daughter was involved in were extremely unsafe.I would like to know whether you think I should simply send him the report with the associated email exchange between myself and the expert, or whether I should also write to him pointing out that I consider he has demonstrated a gross inability to assess risk when introducing our daughter to a new risk activity and a concerning preference to ignore information provided to him that would have prevented my daughter being put at risk.After I expressed concerns, he did buy her a body protector but he bought one off Ebay! - body protectors should be new and fitted if they are to be safe. He is just an idiot, frankly.He signed, during the period I was expressing concerns about the riding school, (and I actually stopped contact on one occasion to prevent him taking him there, but reinstated the next morning), via his solicitor, a written undertaking that he would at all times prioritise our daughter's safety above all else when engaging her any risk activity. Yet, he has already proven that he is unable to assess risk and unwilling to listen to concerns or himself research or investigate the actual risks he puts our child at. What is the legal situation given he has shown that his undertaking is not worth the papwr it is written on because his idea of what os safe is hopelessly wrong?Do I write all this to him or just send him the report he requested?You may recall the BIG SUBJECT is looming. He was found to be an unsafe sailor by the Judge in 2012 and was banned from taking our little girl onto a sailing vessel until she was 11. She will be 11 in April. I am already starting to develop mild anxiety as this date looms and he is already trying to prepare my daughter by talking to her and sending her photos of sailing. I had hoped his attitude to safety might have changed but the recent experience above (horse riding) suggests to me that he is unable to assess risk and always thinks that he is right when he is actually wrong.I wonder if the equine expert's report, combined with three months of email exchanges between myself and father could boost my case to have the age at which she can go onto his yacht extended to, say, 15?
Submitted: 1 month ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Clare replied 1 month ago.

In fact his request for a report would be seen as eminently reasonable by the court - not as bizarre

You can certainly send him the report - but that is all do NOT send the letter that you outlined as it would not be viewed favorably by the court.

Frankly if you feel that strongly about the body protector the court would be surprised you did not purchase it yourself

There is no question of the horse riding report having any impact on the sailing issue

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
OK, I will just send the report. Thanks for the advice.
I am starting to really worry about the sailing issue. Do you have any advice on what it would take to have the age at which she can be taken onto his yacht extended from 11?
Many thanks.
Expert:  Clare replied 7 days ago.

I am sorry but I have to be honest - there is no chance of extending the age - you did well to achieve the limitation at all

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
If my daughter says she doesn't want to go and he tries to force her, is there anything I can do then?The existing order states that I should visit the yacht and inspect before she is first taken sailing. If I am not satisfied, could I apply for a PSO?Thanks, ***** ***** to hear form you about the horse-riding situation, or a different lawyer, as that is getting out of hand. I presume you have received my question about that.
Expert:  Clare replied 7 days ago.

NOt yet I shall go and look (at a conference at the moment)

If he tries to force her against her will then yes you can go for a PSO.

With regard to the boat inspection make sure any concerns are clear cut and would be supported by a specialist

Customer: replied 7 days ago.
Thanks Clare. My question about horse riding has an identical first sentence and you might look and think I accidentally posted the same question twice. I am on the verge of yelling my ex to apply to a court but would love your advice first
Expert:  Clare replied 6 days ago.